Bourbon flows sweetly,
Alice is In Chains,
bringing dreams of hungry kisses.
Beneath.

I loved you once.....I think,
when the stars were ours 
and the wild in me yearned for the calm in you.

I was naivety looking for movie love amongst preened egos.
Searching, desperate to believe the
"you complete me" ******* consumed by numbed masses.

I stood in white silk at Gods altar,
Satan played the march with pride
as the choir abandoned all hope of hallelujah's.
While others dried tears in cheap motel rooms.

We exist now only in other realms
and never for eachother.
Mine a fortress of  bitter ink and paper
white as the inner thighs of the strangers you seek.
Yours an alcohol daze.

I like it that way, apathy mine to keep, distant guilt yours to cherish.
Wedded bliss staged and scripted,
sweet love squandered.

We wear our masks so well

No more will I whisper my pain into storms in the hope that the thunder will hide the sound of breaking.
No more will I wonder at the beauty of death and its promise of release, the monotonous metronome of blood dripping onto tile nor how it would feel to slowly swing, my life ebbing away as my eyes wonder at the stars they create.
No more will I swallow the oblivion prescribed, I will not allow the erosion of my soul any longer, I refuse to become any less than this.
No more will I question my existence  within a monochrome world while all around others glory in rainbow hues.

I alone am the captain of my destiny.

There is beauty here should I choose to see it and I have turned my face away long enough.

Silently she comes to me
in places that I seldom go
though swift as summer she may be,
midwinter is her afterglow

She whispers of a rebel child
once raised amongst the walking dead
and how that child became the sword
that hangs above the monsters head.

She sings to me of spinning skirts
that twirl and lift to raging storms
while all the raindrops yearned to dance
and freedom reigned, as yet to fall.

She will not speak about the dark,
she pays no mind to sorrow
but in her eyes I see she bears
the weight of all tomorrows.

Then with a whisper leaves me here,
where silence weaves it's lonely way
into this once proud rebel child
who surely soon will have her day.

You, the keeper of tides
silvering shadowed streets,
illuminating the hush
as sleeping infants dream.
Tonight your light
will touch troubled hearts
with bone-chilled fingers.
Be gentle, sweet Luna
let them know the sun will come.

Send me words like gentle fingers,
poetic kisses, soft and slow,
send them here upon the ether
thoughts abound on starlight glow.
Words can bring such sweet sensation,
skin on skin fires lovers eyes,
hips and hearts in slow rotation
quiet moans and sated sighs.
Gently take my hand and lead me
to pleasure's peak, my heart's delight,
your words will be this souls companion
on this lonely moonstruck night.

I wandered through the forest
whispered to the rushing pine
looking for a new direction
but your face I couldn't find.
So I climbed atop the mountain,
screamed your name into the dark
skipped stones across the mirrored lake
as you once skipped my heart.

When I woke within this aching
burning bright, my one desire
you were hiding there in shadow
standing tall with eyes of fire.

You lay me down and took me
as the moss it cooled my spine
and I shivered deep within the haze
of your skin touching mine.
We stayed that way til sunset
seen by none but us alone,
but my screams were heard as echoes
In the valley down below.

I could bathe in your words, let them soak into my skin as I luxuriate in every lust filled line, every plea for passion floating around me in scented steam as I lay back and dream of how I would taste upon your tongue, how my breathless voice would sound in your ear.
I travel through countless worlds created by a million words but none touch me where touch is so sorely needed, none set my skin aflame and leave my breath caught in my throat, marking your absence there.
Oh won't you journey into my depths to rest awhile within the folds of my passion as I drip, honey slick from your eager mouth, my trembling hands knotted at your crown, my every wish granted as I fall to my knees in worship of your mighty pen

The pain is subtle at first
A still whisper of solitary words
Stitched together with pulling scars
and stained pages.

We weave the night,her mysterious follies
take shape against our reflection
keeping score for the needy
while damning the meek.

Bravery reigns as sword touches flesh
etching fears to woven rhyme
blood let in letter form
a release to all who know death.

Funny how
your cruel beauty
fills me with words
yet renders me speechless.

Barbed words
arsenic laced
draw blood from the fickle,
cracked and flayed
this brittle heart
cries out as mercy weeps.
Flaws once endearing
bring disgust
as contempt marches in
to dispel the myth we created.
A return to walls,
my worth reflected
within the safety of mirrors
as beauty hides decay
beneath radiant dishonesty.
Solace will not be found within the dawn.
Painted and smiling
I will become the lie you chose.

*listen to the silence of the breaking of my heart

Did you hear me whisper
through the rustling of the leaves?
Did you feel my kiss up on your brow
as I swirled among the trees?
Did notice how my love for you
shone with the midday sun?
Although for now, we are apart
we'll always be as one

Did you hear my happy laughter
in the babbling of the brook?
see my eyes among the bluebells?
won't you take another look?
Did you hear my song sung gently
with the stirring of the pines?
a song of longing for the day
when your heart lives with mine.

I will search for you on rooftops
when the moonlight lights the tiles
I  will search in each reflection
for the light once in your eyes
I will dance with every passing breeze
and howl into the rain
until you come back home to me
to live in peace again.

The world is bathed with orange glow
sweet dreamers weave their way
as darkness wraps it's heavy shroud
around the close of day
While weary bones seek welcome rest
and lovers play their game
I'll linger here and dream of you
My sweetest secret shame.

Wrap yourself in me tonight

let darkest dreams appear 

Fear nothing now, for you are loved 

there are no monsters here

I didn't cry when I heard of your passing, didn't fall to my knees or scream at the sky, you would have hated that anyway.The world went on around me, daily routines soaking up time like a desert soaks up precious drops of rain. Your funeral had gone before I heard the news, no black-draped graveside gestures for me. 

All I could think was "that's another one of us gone" both of you too soon but the tears didn't come.

 Days turned into weeks, as they will...

Then came the music, funny how music can do that. My speakers spoke of Jesus riding a motorbike and there you were, dancing, or something like it. Your face radiating happiness as it always did when we misfits were all together, that grin, oh how I miss that grin, wide as the grand canyon and equally beautiful. I laughed, mascara black tears staining my cheeks, as a torrent of despair set forth, bleeding old wounds and cleansing my heart. I still miss you, even now, you with your ever- worn parka and your party tricks deemed unacceptable in polite society, I always will. I wrote you a poem. You wouldn't like it, because it's sad, the one thing you never were...

Throw caution to the wind
Come mess up my bed.

I am doomed to keep repeating
this hateful cycle, self defeating
bleeding red through open sores
set up to be deaths only chore.

These many coloured choking pills
that rush my blood but cure no ills
have taken hands too raw with pain
and bound them tight against the rain.

There is no finer love than this
between my soul and fires kiss
which burns my throat and scars my heart
while keeping love and life apart.

Wrap me around your naked form
let my satin touch soothe your soul
I am all you need in this moment. Let us be lovers, unconfined by shame. Shake off the chains of yesterday and let the rest melt away. We are our own world, swaying hips and red wine smiles set the tone. Let us dance like this forever, our bodies sated as sweat drips, keeping rhythm, holding time.

I sit and watch the sunrise,
as life unwanted 
courses through my veins.

Once I saw the joy in morning
It's quiet wonder would lift my eyes,
nature awakened by it's tender kiss
as I breathed it's sweet perfume.

I see no glory now
there is no song lilting gently on a breeze.
All birds have flown
only silence remains.

I will hang my heart on broken bough
to rot amongst the fading blossoms
and bow,prostrate before the coming storm.

This morning's glory warms my heart,
words carried in on strangers' tides
have brought about an easy smile
and planted seed in barren mind. 

These words they linger oft unseen
between the love and broken things
this poet's world a rushing tide,
a surge of flight to tarnished wings.

I'll light another cigarette 
for no-ones keeping score
and pray that ink will always bleed
the words of Nevermore.

I was caught in a moment,
haunted for a lifetime
by eyes that knew no sorrow
and a smile that had never broken it's bow.

We spun webs of wishes to call home
and loved as the moon sang and the stars danced
above the wilderness of our affections.

Slow breezes kissed the youth of our skin
as passing time receded into shadow
mourning the loss of it's need.

All tomorrows became ours
within a haze of vinyl crackles and long silent minstrels,
our initials carved forever upon our naive hearts
though the writing on the wall said too young.

Tomorrows still exist within this realm of empty hands,
carved art, now faded and scarred still beats
with the memory of captured breath and teenage wonder
bought to life in sometime dreams
forged by the moon and her lonely lullaby.

Boredom settles,  silence reigns.
now stubborn heart calls wastrel's name.

I thought I was beaten,
deflated, despised
as words left me wounded
and kicked at my pride
I will not give creedence
to cruel, callous lies
and bold as a phoenix
from your ashes I'll rise.

You're gone.
I stumble through the dark.
Thoughts explode, lighting the dark with mocking tones. I would gladly die to call your name, to reach the unreachable but it's too late to draw breath.

A scream escapes my throat, tiny against the lack of you it dies without echo.

I am alone, afraid of my need for your comfort, afraid of my quickening heartbeat, afraid of  myself.

I am the coming storm.
Shadows dance in my wake, wrapped in lace from the gowns of the jilted, they drink my tears as their music turns tainted flesh to stone.

I am nowhere.
Here reality becomes transparent. The illusion of happiness and love  revealed to me in rapid flickers, a tickertape parade of twisted lies lurking in the folds of lovers limbs.

You're gone.
I stumble through the dark.
Tonight I will give myself freely to the depths, in the hope of no return.

Could you love me for a while
upon a summers day
We'll drift the seas in paper boats
and kiss the time away

Could you love me come the fall
where hues of russet play
We'll kiss among the falling leaves
then in your arms I'd stay

In winter will you love me still?
amongst the ice and snow
a thousand twinkling fairy lights
will hold us in their glow

And when the spring she comes around
and blossoms are in bloom
will you pick some daffodils
and lay them at my tomb.

For I must leave you now my love
for heavens distant shore
but I will hold your heart in mine
until we meet once more

Today weighed down with heavy heart
I walked through sunny streets
and came upon the mission
where you and I would meet.

Though years have passed
and paths have crossed
with others of our kind
there is one thing you told me
that lingers in my mind.

You said that you were happy
though you lived a roamers life
no roof, no cash, no shelter yours,
but with riches you were rife.
The park it was your garden
and friendly hearts your home,
a solitary street soldier
but you never felt alone.

I walked on past the mission
stinging tears mine eyes did burn
while on my lips there played a smile
and a promise to return.

Backporch swing keeping time
whiskey yours, tequila mine,
scented buds brings better days
as sweet Father John Misty plays.

Play me a song and I'll dance for you
barefoot and twirling on kitchen tile
sing me a melody lilting and true
then take my hand and we'll sway a while.

Draw me in close as the beat takes hold
my head on your chest as we keep the time
We'll dance until dawn brings and end to the stars
then I will be yours and you will be mine.

Winter skin shivers as damp settles,
his troubled brow seeks silent shelter to sleep among demons. Triumphs and tortures muddied by time haunt the waking as they pass.
"There but for the grace of who?"
is uttered under the cross fire of blame.
Surely the grace is ours?
An outstretched hand, filthy with grief begs solace from the blind.
On his cheek a tear to shame the world.

Should I be above you taking all that I want
eyes on yours with a teasing half smile
Or maybe beneath you all mild and submissive
the ******, the angel, the prize.

Or maybe a struggle, not much, just a little
to fuel up our primal desire
a little restriction if done with conviction
could be just the thing you require.

Or would you be pleased with me on my knees
as my hips push you further inside
you can tug on my hair, try a spank if you dare
name your poison and I will provide

On evenings like these I find there's nothing finer
than reclining in peace with ice cold mango cider.

My troubles suspended in smoke scented sweet
while kittens purr softly, asleep at my feet.

I sit in my garden and watch the sky flow
from sunlight to starlight in hues treacle slow.

Here heaven arrives, solace mine for the asking,
when Rocky sings softly of White Daisies Passing.

My eyes will cry for you once more
when evening brings it's softened hue
in mourning now for love, adored,
left longing for the warmth of you.

The tears they will flow crystalline
to feed the sea at sorrows shore
this isolation aches my bones
and numbs my heart forevermore.

As daybreak cracks the wounded sky
I lift my face unto the sun
though time will heal these wounds,
pristine
You'll always be my only one.

There is a forest old as hillsides
tall, majestic, dappled shades
fall on ground beneath the silent
gnarled defenders of the glade.

There they stand in ancient splendour
many souls have passed their way
often used as welcome shelter
from the heat of summers day.

Sweet the air they breathe in chorus
our life's breath their lungs provide,
soaking up our daily poison
so that we may live and thrive.

You seas of men intent to clear them
citing progress, peddling greed
tearing roots from precious mooring
laying waste to nature's seed.

**** the beauty of a landscape
displace creatures for your need
rupture fragile ecosystems
scar the earth and watch it bleed.

To you I ask a simple question,
as I see the land bereaved.
What need has man of all this progress
when he can no longer breathe?

Silent codes
solemnly whispered
halt the silent scream
burning in the throats
of stronger men than I,
who care to remember
days free from the abyss.

souls reckon amongst scrolls
of all that is lost.
I find myself adrift
on strange tides
time no longer a concept,
brings a primal urge to destroy.
Sanity now a hopeful myth
Pounds at my brow
with circadian flow
banishing emotion to vessels unseen.

Silence is bearable
without the weight of expectation.
We survive in limbo
waiting for the explosion, though the bomb has already dropped.
Life stands still, days meander slowly through memories of a time when love was blinded by the bright lights we adored.
We stare down the barrel of a future departed, careful not to draw blood as we tiptoe through our pretty debris.

I push, with all my might
as my mind attacks your silence
and my heart whispers stop.

I believe for a second, then stumble,
clutching at hope,
in a last ditch attempt 
to hold on to myself,
to you,
to us.

I push again, harder now
drowning in defiance
as tears burn pallid flesh
and skin is softly bruised
by diagnosed loathing and sharpened hands.

I push once more
your name now an echo
too late upon my lips
an unwanted cry to the weary,
ever to remain unanswered.

My bones now ache with fear and pride
my heart is lead astray,
my soul still craves departure,
while my spirit longs to stay.

My judgement remains clouded
my fate is marked "unclear,"
my nightmares remain laden
with the words I used to hear.

Too quick to put my trust in fire
with rapid heart and shaking hands,
too glad to be a man's desire,
too lost to ever understand.

How will I ever tame this heart
who only sings for darkest souls,
and offers all I am to burn
for those who cannot love the whole.

Where were you when the world turned black
Did you look away or stare right back?
When the rich man watched the paupers drown
Did you rage against, or defend his crown?
Will you sink or swim when the levee breaks,
Will you live in fear, or die in hate,
In the end when all is said and done
Which side of history will you be on?

Is it so wrong
that you are my waking breath?
the unseen force that weighs my eyelids into blissful dreams?
Is it so wrong that your very touch stirs my soul?
How can it be so?

Tears fall like rain
scarring skin
as my heart breaks in two.

Who am I?

Swirling in a maelstrom, deepest black
as bruises form unseen.
Hands tremble like leaves
reaching for purchase
grasping for the last vestige of light.

All are beyond me now
Touch, a distant memory.
Sympathy tilts in time
with broken clocks
as impatience looms large
on my souls horizon.

Blood drips its crimson path
tainting all and maiming none
as temptation laughs her last
at my broken shell.

This night, too long to sing of
will not be my last.

Buried in my shroud of tears
I walk among the ******
I count the souls of dreamers past
Upon my weathered hands

There'll be no solace in my name
no mercy at my feet
as daylight crumbles into dark
your soul will cry defeat.

Yet should you feel my icy touch
and hear my ragged breath
fear not, for I will hold you close
in sweet unending death.

We are nothing that matters,
created in mystery
while slowly dissolving to dust.
Pretentions and delusions our comfort as reality bites with it's point filed teeth.

We are not made of stars, nor moondust, we are products of all that has gone before and the destruction of all that is yet to be. 

I yearn to see this life through a rearview mirror, it's withered form a speck on the far horizon, for the hurt to stop as this knife in my back plunges further into my sickened depths, severing my spine from all it holds dear. 

I yearn for silence, for these thoughts to stop spewing from my acid tongue, burning my unkissed lips with a million wasted words while attempting to say only one.

Minutes turn into months, decades of meaningless days and miniscule triumphs. 

The stage is set, my role is uncast but the curtain never falls, I stumble wildly through blind utterances, dreaming darkly, while anxiously awaiting the applause that will herald my passing.

This is not living.

As blood drips slowly from the hands
of monstrous men from foreign lands,
we bow our heads and wring our hands
but the song it never changes.

The lyrics speak of death and fright,
the guns by day, the bombs by night,
another mother's soul takes flight
but the song it never changes.

As tempo builds, hear the melody swell,
a million babies born to hell,
we hear the slowly tolling bell
but the song it never changes.

The mortars crash, the weapons roar
to soothe vain men from distant shores
who'll never know the price of war
but the song it never changes.

I sometimes stand alone and stare
at time worn face and wayward hair
that frames green eyes with brightest red 
and do not recognise myself

Where is the girl that once belonged
to laughter, dancing, love and song
who always saw with lovers eyes
and sugar coated all her lies

She lingers somewhere far from here
a memory vague to those held dear
too long she has been kept apart
from you, the captor of her heart.

I sang a song of tears for you
It echoed from my aching spine
and whispered with the moonlit breeze
Oh sweetest love, won't you be mine?

And should this sweet song reach your ears
Across the ageing, tired tide
I beg that you will take your heart
then hide it swiftly deep inside.

For though I covet it's caress
upon my helpless, weary soul
I fear that I will turn it black
and leave you nursing but a hole

So I will sing my song of tears
and mute the echo with my heart
where love, she blossomed once in vain
there now lay thorns and broken parts.

A ragged, one eyed bear held dearly by a child.
A solitary leaf blown around on the summer breeze.
The smell of old books with turned corners.
The sapling struggling for light beneath the mighty oak.
The bounty discarded by the crabapple tree.
An ill advised mullet.
The opening chords of Born To Run
Kurt Cobains smile.

All these things bring you to me.

I have no need of salvation
My soul is my own
It stands defiant
within this mortal shell.
It bleeds as I cry
Every drop a blessing
to those who wish me harm.

I have no need of forgiveness
I am humbled by my deeds.
I do not linger on every indiscretion
they are the flames from which I grew.

I have no need of redemption
I do not hear the voice of God
he speaks not of my virtue
but I will raise my face to his
as surely as the sun rises to mine.

I have only the need for love
rare and precious in its truest form
yet deserved by every being.
I will accept no less, nor ask for more.

I long for still and silent sleep
'neath rugged stone and pretty flowers
to lay in peace at turmoils end
as larks sing by the passing hours.

I do not long for mourners tears
nor wringing hands to mark my loss
Just quiet song to lift me up
from where I lay beneath the moss.

And once my soul has flown it's last
and bid farewell to those held dear
I'll whistle through the summer breeze
with joy that I'm no longer here.

Have you seen the revolution?
did it quiver your repulsion?
sitting there in feigned rejection,
laughing at his resurrection.
Gone is word of insurrection,
take it now to your affection,
entertain his sweet deception
while he plays with his *******.

Return to me oh fondest love
as roses bid their buds to bloom
and all of nature springs to life
to wonder at the bluebirds tune

Return to me when sun is high
with warmth and golden sheen
to sit beside me for a while
beneath the evergreens

Return to me on Autumn winds
as blazing leaves decay
and place your precious heart with mine
in hope that it will stay.

Return to me while winter snows
ring in the seasons charms
for I have waited far too long
to be back in your arms.

Though time has passed I still hold on
my heart it never strays
It beats for you, oh fondest love
until my dying day.