Have you ever wanted a break from love.
A break from falling that little bit too far.
Have you ever wanted to break other hearts.
Mending your own shattered thoughts.
Or maybe I just want revenge.
Maybe I want to know what kind of monster you really are.
Maybe I want to know exactly how it feels to have somebody break right in front of you.
Or maybe I just want to feel something.

I can't have it anymore.
I don't want it.
Just take it.
Take it away.

The first was easy.
Smooth.
Like a fruit.
Fresh.
I didn't feel too dizzy.
I didn't feel different.

The second was easy.
Sweet.
Tropical.
It was easier to swallow.
I was getting merrier.

The tenth was sloppy.
Splashes down my dress.
Your eyes watching.
Damsel in distress.

Then you walked over.
Too drunk to see my own reflection.
You made me feel worthy.
You made me feel beautiful.

Your hands were soft.
Of what I can remember.
The liquids numbed my senses.
I had no idea.

Your bed was cool.
Like the ice around my glass.
Removing my dress was easy.
I'd do anything in that state.

I don't remember much.
Waking up bruised.
I tried to get away.
More men than drinks in that room.

What happened to just your hands!
One is enough.
But these hands weren't so smooth.
Prodding delicate skin.

Wrists clearly shown.
I guess they knew what a mess I was
I guess they knew i'd be easy.

Well they were wrong.
And so was I.

The first few drinks are always easy...
But the morning after can be utterly devistating

I'll never find the girl I left at the bar.

I will forever be a peice of those awful men's hearts.
If that's even what you can call them.

I often find
       myself in
                situations
      where I feel
                   as if I'm running
out of time.
          
           but I've realized that I'm
only seventeen...
      
              And time is all
      I
       really
           have.

Letters.
Beautiful words handcrafted in your own unique way.
Much prettier than an email.
Or a text.
I think I'm the only eighteen year old that would rather write you a letter every day than a text message.
So please.
Let me show you just how much I care.
Let me pretend we're perfect for each other.
Because the words that are spilling from your throat at 4am are beautiful.
And I'm falling far too fast right now.