In my sleepless dreams
I see you coming back

The dusk casts a
Shadow on your face
The setting sun
The rising moon
Banish the gap
Between us.

i don't know
               what to do
     the surface
                            of the
                                   w
                                   a
                                   t
        is                        e
             gone              r
          and
i'm  
                         ­       d
                                r
                      ­          o
                                w
                   ­             n
                                i
                ­                n
                                g
in
   the
                                  weight

                      ­                            of
                                  ­                       the
                                                             ­   world
i don't know
              when
                       i'll
                           go


                  can i become a kid again?
and live?

the still dead summers,
when the night time tends to hide,
the endless chirps of mama birds echo the cloudless sad sky.

i stare above with brooding eyes,
sitting frigidly by the shoreline,
tears held back, reasons unclear.

i'm losing track of time.
i've been sat here awhile.

this solace i find in my sorrow,
this void i seem to embrace with open arms...
"surely when the autumn arrives,
this madness will end"...
i tell myself,

the still dead summers, i cannot bear.

A line I hear a lot of times.
My life—
bitter memoirs,
disappointments,
mental scars,
and feeling miserable
most of my
lonely moments.
Opened my emotions
only to feel vulnerable,
exposed to the
broken cold.

These past few days—
I hate them.
I ache in pain,
I cut myself—
my wounds on
my right arm
have no mouth
but scream for help.

Only to be sent away,
to hear them say,
“It’s not a punishment.”
A line that cuts deeper
than a sharp knife.

And yet I feel
so abandoned
in my own
treatment center.

(From kindergarten on)

Adeline (very cute)
Angélique (for a while !)
Marine B ( had a true smile)
Elise (wrote her name on a few tables)
***** D (great, beautiful and nice with me)
Eline (first time feeling butterflies)
Andrea (out of my league)
Wendy (asked a friend to ask for me....)
***** C (saw myself in her)
Léa (made me feel important)
Chloé (made me laugh)
Alessia (best first time one could ask for)
Manon (loved meeting you at that exam)
Sara (played the game with me)
Anastasiia (taught me how to love)
Jade (me if I was a girl)
Marine (never got your name)
Mélissa (made me stop worrying)

(Sorry if I forgot you, I drink too much)

While I laugh
Someone is crying

While I dance
Someone just found out they lied

While I can't sleep on my bed
Someone wishes they had a blanket

While I eat
Someone starves

While I walk
Someone loses their parent

While I live
Someone dies

When I remember,
I wish them to feel better
I send them some of my momentary joy
Because maybe
That's how miracles are born