She flew into my heart like a dove,
and left a mark like an earthquake.
One day I was writing poems about love,
the next, I’m writing about heartbreak.

1000 nights of you
500 days without you
It only took one day to fall in love with you.
Im glad I share it with you.
I love you.

you can promise me forever.
you can promise me every past star in the night sky,
every flower that the earth grows unapologetically,
every hour of sleep i always let slip away from me,
and i would still never believe you.

for some reason,
every word has lost its original meaning.
you tell me you love me,
but i can't even begin to grasp what you mean
when you say a four letter word that is the simpliest word to read.

i wish i could feel loved.
whatever that means.
and i wish i knew the original meaning.
whatever that means.

my heart gave up.
it gave up on trying to continue to force itself to beat throughout every torturous day.
it gave up on trying to fight against every cut heartbreak kept inflicting and every repetitive beating it would take.
it gave up on trying.
but it never gave up on you.

i'm always taken back to that day in November, when i was sitting in a car and it was raining and my friend kept exclaiming that this was paradise and asked if i agreed.

i couldn't agree.
the only paradise i knew was you.

i'll always remember that cold day and cold month as the last point in time where we were truly happy.
where i still got to hear every beautiful "hello" and every dreadful "goodbye."
where i still woke up to you and your voice was the soundtrack to my life.

little did i know,
on that day,
the soundtrack had ended.

life is such a strange and interesting concept.
you do and say an abundant amount of things in a day,
you meet so many similar yet dissimilar people,
and boom.
they're all gone.
and you're merely left with a memory.

how distressing it can be when you are out there,
smiling, laughing, enjoying every splendor detail of this world
when you realize,
that it doesn't even feel real.
it doesn't feel right.

and you begin to feel like you don't deserve this.
that your body doesn't deserve to feel the radiating sunshine,
that your mind doesn't deserve to feel understood,
that you don't deserve to feel truly blessed.

when you do.

i feel like us humans have this comfort zone,
we spend 99 percent of the time chained
to mental illness and anguished feelings
that once we feel euphoric moments
falling into the palm of our hands,
it doesn't feel real.
it doesn't feel right.

us humans need to learn that
the days are rapidly passing us by,
and the minutes aren't stopping for any of us.
we need to value the moments that are brought to us
and not interrogate them or our existence
because overall,
life is such a strange and interesting concept.  
you do and say an abundant amount of things in a day,
you meet so many similar yet dissimilar people,
and boom.
they're all gone.
and you're merely left with a memory.

The noon's greygolden meshes make
All night a veil,
The shorelamps in the sleeping lake
Laburnum tendrils trail.

The sly reeds whisper to the night
A name-- her name-
And all my soul is a delight,
A swoon of shame.