I'll drag myself out of your bed, and through the door,
I heard you didn't want me anymore.
Isn't that what you said?
That you didn't want all of these skeletons?
Hiding in your closet, when she came home.
I'll throw them in the fire and watch them turn to ash,
Watch them burn with the rest of the trash.
I only ever aimed to make you smile,
Honestly I haven't seen it in awhile...
Will you take my hand and burn with me?
We could get rid of all the bad things,
Erase all the thoughts with band aids.
I wait for you to come back to me,
But then I see our fire burning,
And realize you won’t be returning.

And as I stare out at the water,
With it's eerie dark grays and violent blues,
The heavy currents disrupting any source of gentleness it may hold,
I think in my head about running and running,
Until it's time for me to jump,
And once I'm submerged, surrounded by black,
I will ponder the thought of not coming back up,
Of just letting the water have me,
For I am already captivated by it's beauty.
A beauty that has already taken my breath away.

Fearless, hateful, focused only on ripping others apart.
At least, that's the reputation.
But underneath that warlike facade, gentleness, justice.
Those deserving of a wrath so beast like, so morbid.
The wolves will tear them apart,
The owls will feast on their eyes.
Bloodshot, terrified, knowing all too well the story.
Behind the mask she puts on for the world,
Merely a girl, following orders, bringing the deserving to their knees.
Their lips forming words that beg her please,
Passionate as war, fragile as glass,
The girl with the fiery hair and paper mache mask.

I roasted marshmallows over our burning memories
The pictures caught fire like the love we once had.
I covered it in the only thing that tasted sweeter than you,
And smashed it between our opposite barriers.
I devoured our love in all it's sticky, false goodness...
And at the end of the day, it was the best smores I'd ever had.

Sometimes you have to put that mask of a smile upon your own face, you have to believe your own happiness.
But what is to happen to the scars you just can't seem to erase, that are supposed to make up who you really are.
Sometimes I day dream about the before. About how things were up until we were told who we are meant to be, how we are made to act.
Who each of us would be individually instead of which piece we play to make us all a whole.
But at the end of the day some things you just don't say, and I can't say I'm a believer or that I end my days on my knees to pray.
I don't really understand how our lives happen to go by so fast, no wonder we end our days out of breath.
Some of us are meant to be in the light of day, easy lives but easy prey.
And some of us are meant to stay in the shade, hard teachings to make us strong, but who the hell cares if we die one day anyway.
I can honestly say I don't know what I'm doing with my life or what my role is in the grand plan we all take a part in.
I can't say I enjoy putting on this front every day to just get by, by hey, it's great to be alive...

Hope you didn't see,
The look in my eyes,
When I realized,
I was in love with another,
And no longer in love,
With the ocean that is you.

The first time I blacked out I was with you.
I'd never drank in front of you before and I only had a few, but you brought me more.
My intentions were only to forget the **** going on inside of my head.
So three because twelve and the room began to spin,
But not at first.
At first I was light, my body was not my own, I felt this power and you called me beautiful.
I was in total control...
Then, I wasn't.
I laughed loudly and I shouted to speak,
I talked about nothing's and got caught up in the sheet.
I could not walk so I started to crawl, to check my phone, if I'd missed a call.
I started to repeat myself, over and over again.
You realized I was done for and took me to your bed instead.
You laid me down and cradled my face, you shook me to snap me out.
"I'm in control, I've got this, I'm in control, I've got this" repeating, pouring from my lips.
The lips you leaned down and tenderly kissed.
My mind reacted but my lips could not move, they kept talking about control and about you.
"You love him, but he doesn't love you, you love him, but he doesn't love you" repeating, flowing from my mouth.
You left the room, left me alone, you couldn't handle my doubt.
A whole hour later you came back to me, I was still talking, repeating, repeating.
"Nobody loves you, just die, nobody loves you, just die" catching on the breath that left as I spoke.
You sat next to me and on my words I began to choke.
You shook me really hard and smacked at my face lightly.
I came into consciousness and then fell into sleep silently.