Been standing on a bridge
Not knowing whether to jump or burn it
Head like a match,limbs thin as rails
Perfect for  a heart like a furnace
I held on till there was nothing left
Swear to god I tried
Fought till the last breath
I've got the opposite of the Midas touch
Everything goes to ruin
Run myself ragged, it's never enough
I've been feeling so hollow
Empty myself,send them
Across the universe in bottles

You were  my sun,I was your moon
When I shined it was the light from you
You know my mind races more than I like
But when I looked into your eyes, I had one thought
That's my favorite color
I'm sleepless but not in Seattle
And I don't really eat,pray,love much
I found it funny as a movie snob
That I always enjoyed a rom com with you
You loved me when I couldn't do that
You made me feel  like I wasn't damaged goods
You showed me things that I can't find in the confines of these four grey walls

My walls have nicotine tears
And my eyes have had bags for years
I want to start a folk punk band
I can't sing so I'll scream
Do something productive in a long time
Only felt freedom when crossing state lines
Going down streets and avenues
With the thought of you

My father has died but isn't dead yet
Feed me half truths and hard times
I'll let them digest
I've been moving on in my own way
Seems no progress but I digress
All these visions of you
Make me wish I had seen you less
I still pace like it keeps me calm
Counting steps,holding you till you slept counting breaths
Counting steps
Down the stairs ,up the driveway and out my life

Bukoswki had roses in a closet , I've got pictures and notes in a shoebox
I think no closure even if we had talked.
I would still self destruct if you hadn't walked
I still can't face my refection in the mirror
I still can't stand to alone,never in public
I still shake like a leaf on a tree,I'm not holding you and December is getting nearer

Do you ever think of me ?
As a bad decision,a waste of time , the wrong boy at the wrong time.
You probably don't and that's for the best.
I hate myself just so we can have something in common
I don't want to but I have to be honest.

You should have killed me with our last kiss
You did worse things with those lips
Helen off beauty alone send an armada to war
But you alone could turn back those ships
They say the pen is mighter than the sword
But I need more for the devils in my Ink
They say love is in the eye of the beholder
I guess that's why's it's gone in a blink

I'm worried about in the evil in half my blood
From the man I share a name with
Drive towards brown liquor like mud
These genetics come with shame as a language
I've seen the face of the beast

It'll take what makes me,me
What makes live worth living
It's hunger knows no ending
And my body will start giving
It will swallow me whole
Starts with a taste
Take my mind,heart ,and soul
I will forget your face
And it always starts slow
Nothingness will take your place
Like my father before me and his before him
To everything I love it will give chase
And it's devours at a whim
Nothing will be safe
Send to the wind
I know it will take me and hold me
I must travel this road and I know what's beyond the bend
Not knowing yourself or your own life,the things that should be your only
Please no, just not today
Please no,any other way
To those I care this is my last will and testament
I will always love you,even if I can't remember it

I wanna fly away,not  far
just somewhere new
I fade to grey but when I think of you
navy blue
my heart's rest is thin and few
lonely eyes,empty views

plant poppies for fallen soldiers and daisies for my dreams
let them bloom
I've spend all this time holding the ghost of you
in vacant rooms
***** dancing or eat pray love is on the TV, love preys on us
and it always consumes
think back to cliche moments in the rain
bitter sweet ,like children can take off there monster costumes

I've been dancing with the devil over the lost of your grace.
what good are these sleepy eyes
if they never fall on your face
what worse for my hands without
yours to interlace
my mind will run itself tired
but your what it chases
I'll keep running away till I find
Where your embrace is

Calls for Patriotism,
Does not equal a compromise.
Complaining about divisiveness
Requesting unity, and patience
Is the luxury of the majority.

To ask such things, emulates ignorance
Offering togetherness, as blind eyes fall
On bodies littered in streets, or behind bars
It is to insist to further a cause of opposition
Allowing complacency to enslave and oppress

mind like a phone screen
cracked but not broken
tried to figure what this all means
a door closed, window left open
everyday has become the same
but still wait for tomorrow
like pulling teeth,no novaciane
empty words ,empty sorrows
mental scenes,frame by frame
this sliver screen is hollow

I wake up to the sun and bad news
I've got demons that I can't lose
they keep me running
not sure ,if away from  something or toward nothing
bags under my eyes and drawers full of cigarette boxes
left my heart far from home, don't know where I lost it