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Wakefulness has come to be
A pale respite, a poignant dream
Reality has paled and ceased
To be of real devoir to me.

Amongst the living, I trail the dead
That intone from the Netherlands
And in their voices, they do spread
The need to meet their languished hands.

There in the dusk's cerulean shores
Towards the night's sapphire core from
Whence winged creatures dart and soar
I sleep to leave what I abhor.

With Morpheus I cast aside
The shell from which by day reside
In chiaroscuro paradise
I lift my head to meet your eyes.

By day you're nothing, dust and ash
And memories that shall not last
By night, draw breath, return to me,
Come back to life within my dreams.



*Original, Un-rhymed Notes:

The waking world has become surreal
After everything that's happened
All things are a pale shade of what they used to be
Those that aren't here call out to me louder than the scores of the living
I feel them, carried with me
Clinging, pulling me back towards
dreams.

I see them there, whole and unscathed
It is my theory
that we are all connected.
From the thread around your finger
to the ribbon on her wrist
and the rope tightened on my neck.
Every action has a consequence,
because when you pull on the string;
*something unravels.
I can't sleep with
            The sound of your
                   h e a r t  b e a t
          in my
                   e
                      a
                         r
                            s
I taught myself to waltz
so I could dance with
the skeletons in your closet.
It's a gruesome sight
as we spin through the silence.
Silence broken only by whispers
of your secrets divulged to me.
And I learned that I was
dancing with the devil.
I'm sorry.
It hurts when you treat me like this.
I was wrong.
Will you wait for me?
I love you.
I'm afraid.
It's lonely.
I can't do this anymore.
You're so beautiful.
Goodbye.
*I miss you.
I hope that one day, we can overcome our fears of speaking our minds.
Do you remember me?
Do you remember what you did?
Does it haunt you at night,
like it haunts me?
I fear that your sins,
your crimes,
haunt me more than you.
Do you feel remorse,
regret?
Or nothing at all?
It frightens me.
The supreme painter paints
on his canvas
drops of rain
while I sit by the window
and stay amazed
by the strokes of his brush
trying to reduce my pain.
Its raining since morning, and all I can do is sit inside and try to paint.
He was dancing between forces of light and darkness.
His eyes celebrated journey of sun in the sky
looking in it for ancient knowledge
invoking light and fire of all stars
praying to divine source of goodness
pretending to be white lunar light.
He told me' You must be light to give light,
fire to give fire in this dark world.
All living matter belongs to light.
All living matter is thought of God.'
I needed him as I need breath to live and die,
as astrology influence of stars and planets
as east west to embrace direction
as plants cosmic rays to exist
as body cells Infinite Intelligence to guide
as child womb to grow .
I guess he has good heart underneath
worthy miracles come to him
even if he appears to me like black moon
hungry for light to experience pure moments.
He called me Venus, Isthar.
I called him hidden mystery of universe.
We both spoke soul to soul
with codex of love
and sacredness of spirits.
I was Divine Godess filled
with smell of white roses
illuminating his mind.
When night came
he loved me with power of Gods
embracing my crown between stars.
Showing me constellations and moon
he became almighty Creator
giving brigtness of all of cosmic creation to me.
My mother told me
'Choose your man wisely.'
But what is wisely
doesn't come from heart.
He was first man
who didn't break my heart
and shattered my dreams.
I choosed him following my heart
and voice residing between my heart,
fate and God's inspirations.
When he looked in my eyes he told me
'Vision of God is clear to me.
Loving you I am one with His light.
You gave me eyes of God.
I am godlike, goddess like
I am His wings of Love above all
Existing only for you and our love.
I am prayer of your heart.'
Angels created intimacy and ecstasy
between our bodies and worlds.
Sacrifice, sweetness was my gift to him.
'Guiding lantern of my heart' he called me.
Holding his head in my arms close to chest
I was morning and evening star glorifying law of love .
He was guardian Angel of my day and nights
rebirth of my soul to escape death
music and poems of my longings
force of attraction between our hearts.
It was romance of souls and minds,
body to body, spirit to spirit
intimacy of clouds carrying our hearts
close to Mars,
closeness of bodies, kiss of breaths
unity of flames, memory of Eden.
My mother told me 'Choose your man wisely.'
All I know heart is wiser than mind.
Listen your inner voice
blood, veins and cells
God's whispers of intuition
and you will find the one.
This love is return to Source,
fullfilment of human emptiness
not caring for pride, humanity.
It's nakedness of souls
celebrating acts of closeness
not looking for any other lover
not knowing beginning and end
of falling in love and being in love.
'Let his fires and silence burn you.'
pure passion whispered.
I choosed wisely.
Soul to soul.
Heart to heart.
Fire to fire.
God making two one.
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