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This story began years ago
when people were happy
and life was slow.

Remember When?

CHRISTMAS... PAST
The Difference in outdoor decorations...it was a big deal when my dad got a huge pattern of Santa in a sleigh glued it on plywood, cut it out, with a little motor making his arm wave...and had Christmas music in the back ground with a spot light shining brightly on it.
CHRISTMAS ...PRESENT my goodness between the blow up decorations of all kind and the colorful lights covering everything even the roof, and the beat of the  music moving over decorations, causing a traffic jam...

MY CHRISTMAS TREES in the PAST were always fresh live trees..as a child they were pretty skimpy but beautiful and with that fresh pine smell...then as a mom they were short and fat, but with that fresh pine smell...out the door the day after Christmas...
NOW in the PRESENT a single, widowed and in charge of my own Christmas tree I started out with a large fake tree ( yes that word sounds familiar).. left up until after New Years eve....then as time goes by as does my age And I'm still in control of my Christmas trees  I down sized to two 3 foot ready to go fake trees and I still have my Charlie Brown tree I bought from Franks for $15.00, years ago. 5 foot and skinny but still beautiful.
As the pandemic moves along I have plenty of time to think of the past and the present.
THE WORRY LIST....

When did I start my worry list?
As a child I didn't have to worry,
that was mom's job.
But what did she have to worry about.
Certainly not me.
Dad had a job,  and was a happy fella
We did have a TV
With a bubble screen
But she never watch that.
She didn't like cowboy shows or wrestling
An There was no news...
That's it.....
That's when my worry list started...
I became a mom of four children
What did I have to worry about
certainly not them
But then I watch the news
My children have grown
And I have nine grandchildren
And so my worry list continues on
shootings at schools
children abducted
So many tragedies on news
From tornadoes to plane crashes
Car crashes, Forest fires, Terrorists,
Children with a rare cancer
With no cure..
And SOME Police so brutal to the black...
I thought that battle was over.
why, why do I watch the news?
So I know what to worry about?
Or just because I'm a mom and a grandma.
I would love to have a joint to smoke, the good green that makes you choke.Roll one and get high away from the world to think for a minute.That first hit so good, smooth as silk now I want some cookies and milk. I don't like blunts it's just a waste, you only smoke it for the taste.Lets roll one more before we go we can take our time and smoke it slow.Wacky backy where you at? Twenty a gram I can do that. I love my **** and it loves me, and it grows naturally.This last one is going to put us on our ***, I think that's why they call it grass.Now I'm ****** just rolling home we smoked it all and now it's gone.Got any cake cause now I got the munchies? I don't want no Captain D'S crunchies.****** off our ***** I love it man it's awesome.So smoke some **** and chill like a penguin at the South Pole.Do you think Santa Claus smokes? Maybe a ****, now I'm ****** and ready to sleep, you pass my house Santa leave me some pajamas with feet.**** is good for your soul and your heart, my friend forever we will never part, so tomorrow we will roll and smoke again.
Your 18 today, my how time flew by so fast.Wishing you were little just didn't last.The doctors said you would never do the things that you do everyday, What did they know? That's what I say.My only son and my first born, not to mention an awesome big brother.Im so happy Good chose me to be your Mother.Happy Birthday Brian Keith Elswick II, your one third of my heart unconditional love for you and your two sisters.Your getting so big along with your heart Just know our bond can never be torn apart.
                                Love,Mom
It flies amongst the stars.
Flashes for a moment.
Despite the left scars.
Holds a place close, yet far.

It carries the fallen.
From mistaken paths.
To reaches impossible.
And develops new plans.

It creates new countries.
Raises dead soldiers.
Stamps unsung heroes.
With a feeling of free.

Hear its silent sound.
Open up your eyes.
Place it in your heart.
Elevate from the ground.

It helps us climb.
Better than rope.
Do you see its shape?
It is hope.
 Jan 2018 Dominique Arnold
Frisk
my trauma home looks like
a blighted ecosystem
thriving with atoms that
name themselves anxiety
name themselves self-doubt
name themselves a graveyard
where no hole is big enough to
hide the defecation, the diseased,
the gap between these ribs.
i want to rip myself open
with alcohol,
watch my body coil up like a snake
watch myself come undone
watch myself spill secrets
in *****
like alphabet soup but thicker.
the spiders look enlarged, enraged,
enveloped in their webbed paradise
waiting for me to land on sticky skin.
the sharks find their next prey by blood, but the only way i will draw blood is by biting my tongue too much.
 Jan 2018 Dominique Arnold
Frisk
i am the femme fetale who
doesn't see the lights of the train
but lures people towards the tracks
i am the siren who doesn't know
her singing creates destruction
ensnaring victims with her voice
i am the whirlwind that creates
sinkholes with warm words
soft embraces, gentle whispers,
i am the quiet
before the explosion of a grenade
i am the explosives
but i look just like alluring magic
when you sink down here,
pitch black becomes your muse
instead of the kaleidoscope you
seemed like you were expecting
you swallow me, all warm words,
all soft embraces, all gentle whispers,
but embracing me is like a car crash
where the impact may be fatal
My soul craves world peace.
Where us vs them will cease to exist.
We all have a heart that loves and assists.
But that's not enough they demand more than this.
Banned from the land.
Banned from the bliss.
Will this greed ever be dismissed?
Kneel to the system run on conflict of interest.
That makes you depend, look outside take a glimpse.
Understand all was planned.
Sleight of hand and they took control of motherland.
Birds, raised and caged by misconceptions.
Domesticated under their wings with things we're supposed to do.
Force fed beliefs, here you go this is true.
And the government grew.
Conditioned by the cards you drew.
Game of theories made to modify you.
Now, who are you?
With a pencil, they drew a mask on you.
We miss the point.
We don't know intentions.
We yearn for acceptance.
We follow without question.
New age with a prescribed perception.
But these are your lenses.
I won't be caged.
I won't be a bird in.
I hope you to spread your wings and start unlearning.
Now you can fly and won't be a servant.
It was a graveyard and overcast sky
and I sat with book and accordian in hand,
hearing the world with its screams
swallow up around me.
The people whom I had loved and lost,
Papa with his silver eyes
Mama her sharp tongue and tough love
Rudy whose hair the colour of lemons
and questioned why, the living and dead,
worlds apart, yet both did not have a choice.
I stood and screamed so that everything shook
the burning rubble and ash and dust
willing my words to bring it all back
but it did not come, and my breath rose in gasps.
Death had looked me in the eye and said,
“It’s not time yet.”
I would shut my eyes to the world
only decades later.
I will understand that there was hate and pain
there was sadness
but even more so, there was love and joy.
I will know that the people I loved had reason
to kiss goodbye
whether it was their own hurt
or saw it as a necessity,
but they were never truly gone from me
always somewhere nearby,
in the thick and thin
frail and worn
of times.
I would learn
to forgive Death that day.
I will understand that
and I will be hurt,
but I will be okay.

~

Not all deaths are sad.
Some, meant to ease their own pain,
Are called freedom.
While some,
Meant to ease the pain of others,
Are called love.


© BT
My first poem on HP.. Thank you all for reading

Edit: Words can't describe how grateful I am to be part of this wonderful community. I'm so blown away by your support, it makes my day! You all are truly awesome, and I cannot thank you enough <3

BT x
"Not called at a bad time have I"
The clock announced half past four
"You are looking grand Annie"
Said the old sop leaning on the door.

"Let go of this and I'll fall" he said
She considered a gentle push
"Keeping me upright this is"
She now wished she'd got a brush.

"Looking great for your age you old trout"
she seethed inside and didn't reply
"how about me and you ,together"
her reply - not a chance I can get by.

"You and me are a team
fetching and carrying my special tea
You never know your luck
I could get down on one knee"

Perish the thought she held the thought
Is this all I have now- is this all that's left
she visualised scraping the barrel
she could get less stress for theft.

She thought her 90 years had served her well
Maybe if her teeth were her very own
She put her hands around her girth
maybe she could lose a few stone.

She wanted a younger man
Not a wrinkled and smelly drunk
Whose hair had disappeared and
his whole person had shrunk.

Maybe one day I will get my catch
Annie would perhaps be happier than this
She rolled her hairnet over the sponge curlers
and the drunk had planted on her a big kiss.
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