Don’t tell me you Understand
Not until you’ve stared at a blank wall
With a blank face
For hours
And cried
Not until you’ve felt
Every little piece inside you break
And instead of feeling pain
Or sadness
You’re numb
Not until you’ve slit your wrists
Not trying to die
But not minding
If you do
Not until you’ve watched blood
Drip down your arm
And thought
It’s a nice colour
Not until you’ve done stupid stunts
And dangerous acts
Just to feel
Alive
Not until you’ve seen inside my head
The thoughts that live there
And tried
To die
Not until you’ve seen and felt
What I have
In this life
Will you ever understand

Don’t tell me you Understand.
Because you don’t.
I don’t

The Wound has Healed but the Scar Remains,
Two Years has Passed and I Thought I'll be Okay.
The Feelings Subsided but a few Retains
Still, I had no Regrets for my Decision that Day.

My Only Wish is for your Happiness,
I'm Thankful for it is a Success.
I'm Happy for the both of you,
Someday, you'll be Happy for me too.

I'm tired.
Tired of everything.
I just want to sleep,
And never wake up again.

No, I'm not lazy,
I'm not running away from life.
I'm just tired of the world and myself,
And too tired to change anything.

may 24, 2017
last suicide attempt
everyone blamed you
it was him
he hurt you
why do you even talk to him still?

you were never the reason
you broke up with me that night
and i snapped
the only thing that kept me happy
left
and i had
zero reason to
live

it was never your fault...