My Grandfather said,
"Don't bite off more than you can chew."
He choked to death.

I once tried to write you
A letter, a message.
One that would have
Made you realize
How I felt.
How I feel.
I never sent
You that letter.
I couldn’t figure out
What words to say
And the eraser marks
And teardrop stains
Smudged out the
Only good ones I had left.
I only hoped for you
To realize that
You meant something
To me and everyone else.
I should have sent it,
Because now
You’ve left me
In sorrow and despair.
I’m the one who found you,
Shriveled up and
Soaked in my tears.
The tears from realizing
That I could have saved you
If I had only sent
That ******* letter.
Now I’m being forced
To write that letter,
Only this time
It has a different meaning.
One that bids farewell,
And grants an apology.
I can not bear to be here
Any longer
All I feel is sadness
And longing.
It is my fault that
You aren’t here,
Because I never sent you
My only letter of love.

I am in love with
the winter,
like I am in love
with you.

I am in love with
chills down my spine,
and I am in love with the cruel.

(My heart,
it stays open
only to be frozen,
but nevertheless,
I can breathe.)

I am in love with
the way the snow melts,
a chemical transfer of heat.

I am in love with
the way summer felt,
But winter is bitter, like me.

Those who've died live on
In the memories of those
Whose lives they have touched

nicotine and led paint
lilac cigarettes

always mistaking ghosts for gods
you can't shake the innocence

getting high on hair dye
copper strands won't heal the blows

you gave it up on halloween
dancing naked, he'll never know

blonde boys don't love you like I do

thought it was time you said we're through

playing pretty in your living room
cut your bangs just to feel alive

learning lyrics to his favorite songs
your veins tick out of time

your mountain days are out of reach
throw your body off the *****

you dance but not in tangles
try to hold on to hope

blonde boys don't love you like i do

you kiss and tell and then you're through

the way he rolled his cigarettes was godly
and i know baby that you miss how he tastes of smoke and loneliness
and i know that you miss breathing in his aroma of stale coffee and sweat

you told me about how his hands caressed you like you were a whisper
and how he bit into your skin like you were something to be devoured