Images of your face crowd my mind.
Beauty in all you are.
I found that picture from when we where kids.
Best friends then
Best friends now.
But there is something i havnt told you.
See i think i love you.
I find myself thinking about you more than a friend should.
I think about how much we've grown together.
I think about the times ive cried on you, and you on me.
All the times you have told me you might sorta like me.
I want to be more, best friend.
Usually lovers are best friends.
And i feel our connection goes beyond holding hands.
We should be cuddling in my old treehouse.
We should be us
Best friend,
*be my girlfriend?

Suicidal tenencies follow me around,
I felt it so strong once that I took enough pills that my body started to drown.
I felt it again enough to make me hang from a rope, but still here I am, and I have no more hope.

A song that kept me going, "hold on until May"
I told myself that twenty times a day,
and when May came there was nothing else to hold on for,
So I held on to the rope, and tried to let it all go.

That song still haunts me to this day,
Every time I hear it I cry endlessly.
Time doesn't heal things.

You can read my thoughts
blankly

and pretend to understand and sympathize
with what I write

But if you could summarize me
what words would you spin?

Who am I
to you?

So emotional
My body shakes
Constant tears.
My fingers grip knives.
Its cold.
And this angry feeling is getting so old
I cant take it anymore
My headaches claim my smile
My thoughts have become so vile.
My chest rises up
And back down.
I break concentration
And suddenly
black
*no tomorrow
Peace at last

I feel like im wrestling with love.
Its choking me
Its punching my ribs
So many times
I have believed in love,
And each time
The haven i build only burns down
I am left with the smallest frown.
I fight for love,
But it dies anyways.
Numerous times i have gone up to bat
But my heart recieved its third strike
My heart has been shot
My heart has been strewn everywhere.
Little pieces reside in memories.
I have fallen so many times
Scraping my knees each time.
I get hurt too much,
But yet
I still believe.
I believe there is a girl
Who believes there is a boy
That will understand her.
That will understand me.
Even though i still havnt seen its full effect yet,
i am willing to die
**for what could be