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-.-
I keep my feelings in a bottle and I carry them around.
Corked and sealed I keep my emotions bound.
But the weight is getting heavy and my chest is starting to ache.
And I'm not too sure how much more of this I can take.
To expose them is to risky.
The price is too steep.
The thought of being vulnerable makes my heart skip a beat.
The fear of rejection and humiliation keep my emotions at bay.
I would rather tell a lie than say what I really wanna say.
Just like Romeo and Caesar I have a flawed personality.
Does this mean that I am ****** to live out a tragedy.
Music I heard with you was more than music,
And bread I broke with you was more than bread;
Now that I am without you, all is desolate;
All that was once so beautiful is dead.

Your hands once touched this table and this silver,
And I have seen your fingers hold this glass.
These things do not remember you, beloved,--
And yet your touch upon them will not pass.

For it was in my heart you moved among them,
And blessed them with your hands and with your eyes;
And in my heart they will remember always,--
They knew you once, O beautiful and wise.
I have not been well lately
But I have a secret to tell you
It’s a success story: my most secret success
You see, I’m very skilled in crafting holes
And I’ve punched a massive hole
Right through the middle of my life

Please, don’t mistake this accomplishment for the result of talent
This is a skill and it takes practice to master
I went to college and learned to turn theories and ideals from basin to sieve
I learned to critique everything hopeful
And punched a hole right through the heart of hope
I honed my ability to close out creativity
I built a track down which to guide concrete linear thoughts
And I learned to use said thoughts as a battering ram with which to
Knock a hole in the barricaded door to dissatisfaction

And, though this skill is often practical
As you know, one cannot walk around wearing an open hole
So, a corresponding skill has successfully emerged
In parallel with nurturing voids
I have learned to conceal each and every hole
Sometimes with a thick canvass and
Sometimes with a paper-thin veneer
I may have learned to wrap a package
And to tie a bow
With the express purpose of packaging
The broken gift of life
Full of ugly holes

And, now, all that is left to complete the perfect ending to this success story
Is to grow old in a neatly kept apartment
Filled with the unseen haunts of relationships neatly hole-punched and
Filed in a hidden mental cabinet
Next to a night stand where I keep my phone and glasses
And across from the bed
There will be a glass trophy case
Full of trophies denoting various acceptable successes
But, just between you and I
The largest trophy denoting the largest success
Will be a lifetime achievement award
Bestowed for hollowing out what could have been
A beautiful life.
written from a psychiatric ward
There are so many words inside me
that I feel I need to say
But circumstance and other stuff
is always in the way

Every time we get the chance to talk
one of us has to go
So the words keep building up inside
I wish it wasn't so

So I took a chance, I wrote it down
and sent it in the mail
In the hope at least you'll read my words
even if to no avail

At least I'll know I said my piece
that alone will do me good
But will the words upon the paper
reach you in ways I never could
Follow me on Twitter @athomashawkins
http://twitter.com/athomashawkins
 Aug 2014 Bianca ortega
SG Holter
There once was a town in the world.
In this little town, lived a girl.
She barely could write,
But sat up all night.
Carefully carving each word.

The poem she wrote was a dream.
A thought that had grown, it'd seem.
The frailest of strands;
Words woven by hands.
Like droplets of diamond
Downstream.

The morning sun shone on the stairs.
He sat there, his face holding tears.
Her father, and all
That little girl called
Her family, burdened with fears.

She sat down beside the poor man.
Put paper inside his strong hand.
She left him to read,
As if sowing a seed.
And so, the whole healing began.

Her words had a life of their own.
Of wisdom beyond any known.
They spoke of a place
That was floating in space,
Yet it's beings were far from alone.

Why cry when there's laughter?  
Why fight when there's dance?
Why hate when there's family,
Fun and romance?


Her words were so simple, so clean.
Yet painted in colours unseen  
Through verses and lines,
And symbols and signs...
To adults, elders, infants and teens.

It took not religion, it seems.
No army, no guns or machines.
To shape this old world
To the words of a girl
With paper, a pen... and a dream.
 Aug 2014 Bianca ortega
Sie
Fight!
 Aug 2014 Bianca ortega
Sie
You can hide in the blankets
but you can never run.
It will follow you to the deepest of seas
and the highest of mountains
in the closet or under the bed.
Because all you will be running from is
yourself.
You create your demons.
You are the monster.
There is a way to keep them out
there is always a way.
But you have to pick thoes weapons and
fight!
Run into the battle at full speed.
Don't stop for even a moments hesitation,
because within that hesitation
there is a crack in your armour
in which your demons and monsters can get through.
To fight you have to remember
nobody will save you.
This fight is yours
and yours alone.
Remember to make yourself better you have to start somewhere.
That somewhere can be here right now.
So make the decision to win this fight against yourself.
The mosters and demons do not define you at all.
If someone says you can't
you better show them you can.
You make the decision.
You can die.
Or
You can fight!
Stay Strong
Too many voices in my head
Too much silence while laying in my bed.
Never open my mouth, but I say a million words
Dying only to be called a coward

Buried 6 feet under ground
But I can still hear every sound
All the words you used to hurt me
Won't let me break free

I'll arrive at night dressed in all white
I'll be ready to fight
And I don't know if I will survive
I just know that I have to win this fight.

I've got to fight the demons that are inside of me!
I have known that the sun can hear thunder
and how its brightness
can be unfathomable,
like my dreams.
Since the beginning of my pulse
I have been honored
with good days
that left me grateful
inside of the sweetness
never stifling.........
within all it means.

When midnight kisses the glass
that morning has already
tasted......
Like a thirsty spider
crying out........
for the rain.
All of my senses are
swept through
knowing, my words don't fall
on deaf ears......
or stand there,
all wasted.

No, you cannot know how I'm feeling
but that doesn't mean
our world's stopped spinning.
The sun.......
can still hear thunder
in all the ways you love me.
You lift me up
in the midst of a storm.
All my senses are swept through
my words stand in stillness
a storm's ending......
is love's beginning.
Copyright 2012 - Neva Flores - Changefulstorm
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