Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Patiently I wait for the pain to stop

For the blackness to overwhelm my fractious senses

For death to soothe my destroyed emotions

For silence to put an end to my indifferent pretenses





But even drug induced comas

or the chance of life, twice

Nor leaving my children or those who proclaim to care

are enough to make me want to remain here





I lost my daddy, Eric, Mr T

I betrayed myself & fell apart

I thought the DNA results would set me free

and mend my broken heart



but the universe unfolds, as indeed it should

although not always as we'd like or desire

and one day when I look back on this episode of life

I'll see that it was simply not my time, yet, to expire
 Jul 2017 beautiful tragedy
Iz
You tell me not to be stressed
about food, gym and health
you tell me not to be obsessed
and you remind me those days when
I would eat a whole bar of chocolate
without knowing what calories were
But let me clarify one thing
it's not that easy
Those voices in my head
are controlling myself
and I'm trying to defeat them
but I'm getting tired
as they **** all my power
I swear I fight them back
and sometimes I win
but sometimes I take
one step forward and two steps back
so I'm always here
surrounded by anxiety and fear
60…59…58…57….56…55
just simple numbers on a scale
but as they decrease
I feel so powerful, yet so scared
to cross the line
dividing sanity from insanity
and suddenly I'm walking on a tightrope
trying not to fall
into the darkest of all holes
Standing in the river today
Bits of me still longed to go.
Float down stream.
Leave.
There was a slight voice, a murmur now,
This feeling that now feels foreign,
Thoughts of disappearing with the currents movement.
Following my natural inclination to
Move.

This voice was once a constant,
My response to the things that got hard.
Move on.
Be contained by the Shores edge and
Flow. Change, allow the wind to push
You along.
Race with the fishes.

My fish friends, never understood why
People eat them.
They are founding members of us.
Hold within them things we've long lost.
They race with me though,
Dipping and diving around the soft rounded river rocks.
I love how they feel along my skin,
My watery core capable of all dimension.
My malleable soul.
No one knows how comfortable it is
With change.
I was broken in,
Made to embrace it.

Though today , I didn't feel so
Impatient.
The longing to reunite with the oceans
Oneness, it's collection of me.

My call is quieting.
Softening, healing is being felt.
Infection is spreading,
Stretched out over Her body.
My feet graze over the Shores pebbles,
Feeling lazy.
Swimming isn't necessary.
Today we must stay standing,
At the edge of the river.
Holding each other up.
Coaxing a belief we can make something
We all can trust...

This faith in me is what I really have to offer to us, to our collective rising...
I believe in humanity.
I believe in me. And you, that WE
Have the ability to create anew.
That our hearts, together, see the steps
Begin within.

And as friends on this
Journey of US,
We meld hands, fingers wrapping
Around knuckles and rings.
Hold tight darling,
This river can be strong.
Your hand slides on my softened skin,
I hear the connection, I breath.
Thank God you're home.
For my love
almond fronds for  visions
spidered eyes black a wink kisses
the cheeks   a sunrise nose spry
lips of tangerine peels left after eating  the heart
calmest flowing rivers shoulders of
the places bream nip
for joy under a water slip
she is jungled
shy as the panther in the shadows
sleuthing blending in and standing out
when your eyes do meet a sudden
reality
by god she is  beauty
the forest the green lush
thickets impenetrable dark illusive
illusory a dream a destroyer saviour a wild thing
a nerve fiber a coiled up  bindle  
of masks and hard sharpnesses and soft fur
purr
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.
I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine
Next page