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ayd May 2018
around my hand
this thread is raveled
tighter it gets
the stronger i hold

my heart is laced
for me to hold
the string that pulls
sinks deep into the tissue

until the blood
drips to kiss
the floor, the puddle of love
it all morphed into more

then what was presented
surprise, your presence
leave me level headed
i can’t think straight, my lines inverted

you invented as i invested
i love you, there i said it
this subdues my void
you are not my toy

i can’t play these games
leave in fantasies
look
i don't even remember when i wrote this.
i can only imagine how deep in the void i was.
ayd May 2018
these thoughts of you keep life warm
the fire burns uncovered; the presence loves expulsion of brisk
frosting the trail for as long as i can recall
every step, beneath was nothing but a trip

until the thoughts of you started coming in
unmarked, ****, but yet a future it told
the light; it glows in a stance of fate
to be seen with the eyes but felt with the mind

airy winds gust, the ambers are caught; mirror of a fire fly
that drift through the blue crest night
an extension, the light that carries gathers darkness
to relive the tension felt by happiness
the northern frost; stretches cross the land
your foot print is to set forth
a trail that i may follow
on the hollow nights to find where you are

give me your breath, before the brisk intrudes
i will hold it, by my heart.
the cold it comes with intent to steal
our souls, close as yours can be
if i feel it, the cold will go

our hands will lock, i’ll pull you close
have my lips meet your neck, race along your chest
falling to your stomach
now your thighs, i open your legs

may my tongue give you health
and let you feel, what someone so divine should
the love and affection
we can lay on one another

and wish the cold a goodnight.
i feel her pain when we touch and it reminds me of all the things that i've done wrong. through the pain i feel alive and with the love i see the light within this pit of darkest times.
ayd May 2018
bullets gathered in commune;
rallied with the spirit of fate
at the nose, rest the breath to come
as my touch gives you strength to escape

to ash the skull will turn
from the flustered blush; to a berry plucked
after all the thoughts it has lured
mourns the abscesses of something more
i'm still alive after last week.
ayd May 2018
the motion of crowds; sip their wine
slowly, each glass lustfully kisses their lips
leaving behind only a stain
privileged now, their lips speak with color, standing out

insisting a dance; to songs unbeknownst to my feet
the night is ripe, a sweet blackberry to ingest
savory on my eyes, the lids shut to find
the bit of light within, before the darkness befriends

unveil the raveled threat constricting my sight
the honey lights travel as far as sound
stretching down the walls, collecting in a pool
gathered beneath, the crowd begins to surround

their faces are unclear pictures
yet, their eyes are piercing
hungry for the flesh, but my bone is so close
as they made their hand with my skin

press their palm on my wrist, hold my neck as the noose
my empire is weak already, up in flames
my kingdom meets the furry of death
disguised in sight, for many years

the majesty of unknown sung from afar
but with it comes to a rhythm, that my muscles
can recall as we do to blink and breathe, chew and swallow.

to the flames, i will take
these final secrets kept in the pocket of my heart
they may sip and be drunk
and insist that the dance is theirs, but i resist

as their fingers leave my glass eyes
they will only leave a mark, to be cleaned
but not carry with them my identity.
ayd May 2018
plagued streets, a ghost sweeps these grounds
they always call as i am out
faces come and go, with the wobble of the earth
shake shake shake as beads would in the can

the sound of contact, conjure laughter
echoes as the street names past
just like that, the sickness
kisses my forehead goodbye

retreating to the doorway to leave as a shadowed figure in the light
this bed leaves me to wonder
why are you kissing me good bye

just for you to come again
befriend me, show your face in the joy
instead of giving me this pain of absence.
ayd Apr 2018
the trimmings scatter as leaves would atop a pond
the seasons alter, wardrobes prosper with unearthed color
those shoes, bound to an unfamiliar present
the dress appeals your face, myriad angels kisses carry grace to your ******

the beaches sport playtime, soda bottles clacking as thunder
while the water sways in the breeze
as this late day would bring time for a hammock swing
body on body, gazing to the edge

as the sun torches the blue sea for a final time
buried in my sight is it’s majestic flocking
sunken now, drowned the sky
while the moon shows only half of its smile

a fire pit battles air, growing as the battle turns old
laughters travel like the amber
in the night, they journey far as light can see
in the shadows, whispers mark existence

in all the mystery that escapes with distance
for what i can not see, only comes across as sound
is none sense to you but yet they seem to surround
with arrows waiting to strike their daggers

hidden in the sway of the water
half the moon must be stronger
to see what is, ready to attack
my wounds, as if my bone calls for such disaster

laughter, laughter, hear them sing
as antagonist to this boys sanity
amber, amber, smell the air
as the light outside disappears
with the seasons changing, i'll be out more at night.
where the light does not see, i will project my fears.
ayd Apr 2018
a women fosters
the strength of the boy’s nectar.
as it begins
to take its shape.

the inception
presents possibilities.
that only a women will harvest right.
you let my nectar

collect beneath
and find a stream.
far away from your home
now to cultivate.

all that i am
can not be done.
the same as you could have
i do not blame.

your mistakes
because i know
i could not care of nectar either.
for i am weak, like you.

that is how
you let my nectar,
go. now my shape has formed
and has no more room for you to grow.
this person in my life who i thought for so long was the person who would always be my side. turned into the only thing that i can not bare.
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