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aviisevil Jun 2022
6/6/2022

to you, from the slopes of Shivalik





Nestled between two hills flows the river Tawi



"you should see my city in autumn," i say to an old friend in his new apartment in Gurgaon.

In the bastion of the mighty Dogras, nestled between two hills flows the river Tawi - daughter of the sun

and there i was, standing on the old bridge overlooking Bagh-e-Bahu, "you should see the great Tawi during heavy rains, you should see her might when no one is looking"

the very might, of a son, that saved the king of the serpents, and in return the father crowned him the lord of the virtuous slopes of Shivalik

"she flows here from kailash kund," i tell him with a smile, "to the land of my father, of his brother, and his sister"

the land where the maharaja once saw a beast and his prey - bowing together, quenching their thirst in the month of June; free from shackles

"you should come on a sunday, and have some Rajma," as we take out the foreign bread from a local joint.

"maybe we can have some khatta meat too, if you decide to stay," i say to him as i take another bite.

for long have our forefathers told us to take pride in the soil of our birth.

they know of the threads that bind us to the place that has come before us.

some escape, some never come back, and some carry with them, always, the colour of their soil.

before i left, i too, stood on the old bridge - on my way to the old city; bowing to the Goddess at Bawe, as she looked on, ever present -- in the land of the Dogras, in her ever lasting abode.

"you should come see my city in December," i say to him as i take a last bite.

Nestled between two hills flows the river Tawi - daughter of the sun, nourishing land of the Dogras




@writeweird
aviisevil Jun 2022
in Jammu: the city of temples, there is a house.

On the other side of Tawi, past the old bridge, i sit in my memory;

she's talking to me, "earn so i can be free," as my heart drowns in summer.

"it's unbearable," i say -- "the weather hasn't been kind to you"

i wait for her to say something but she's busy again - "i have so much to do.. why don't you settle here and make my life easier," she says with a forced smile.

On the other side of Tawi, past the old bridge, i sit in my memory;

perhaps one day i can give her the world, the one she is promised.

here on the foothills of the mighty Himalayas, on the other side of the tunnel, i wonder.

perhaps i can leave while i still can, younger than i remember, or have i been old and it's merely a dream?

have the city swallowed my memories to keep her relevance alive.

is she just a figment of her many tangled roads, the tree sitting on the three hills, and disjointed neighborhoods?

by the river Tawi - where i once spent the evening swimming in the sweet embrace of liquor, and in ***** of a welcoming morrow.

overlooking the new bridge, thinking to myself, 'how beautiful is home today'.

or making out in the backseat of a confidant's car as we travel through the sidhra road, and she says to me, "do you think this will never end?"

and before i can tell her the truth - i see a fleeting glimpse of silver; and there i am -- in tomorrow -- far from the edges of the mighty Himalayas.

i take out my phone, i need to see what time it is, and there on the screen, it says it's 32 degrees of summer in jammu, still -- and i burst into tears.

On the other side of Tawi, past the old bridge, i am my memory.
aviisevil May 2022
.





i hate it here where
everybody hates me

behind boarded windows
where ghosts chase me

i hate it here where
everybody hates me

trapped in thoughts
those that now scare me

i hate it here where
everybody hates me

here in this empty room
where silence shapes me

i hate it here where
everybody hates me

made in tears and now
an ocean drapes me

lonely as i suffer and no
one's there to wake me

caught in war as
armies invade me

i hate it here where
everybody hates me

i hate it here where
everybody hates me

i hate it here

everybody hates me





.
aviisevil May 2022







i hate it here where
everybody hates me

behind boarded windows
where ghosts chase me

i hate it here where
everybody hates me

trapped in thoughts
those that now scare me

i hate it here where
everybody hates me

here in this empty room
where silence shapes me

i hate it here where
everybody hates me

made in tears and now
an ocean drapes me

lonely as i suffer and no
one's there to wake me

caught in war as
armies invade me

i hate it here where
everybody hates me

i hate it here where
everybody hates me

i hate it here

everybody hates me













poetry is a labour of love, but love isn't hope, or light, it can be dark and cruel and inflict conflict in its mayhem and leave bones and forests in it's path.. but what it truly is, is a gateway, from me to you, and to the universe, the language of gods and mortals alike, it is the river that feeds the benign existence, and give life to the corpses circling the purgatory, it is what you want it to be, and it's yours forever to keep and breathe and whisper.
aviisevil Mar 2022
you shot me in dark
when my eyes were shut

did you love me still when
you told me i was just a **** ?

you broke me until i
was at my worst

now you pretend you don't
see my hurt

now you pretend you can't
see a thousand cuts

that you loved me through the
pain but it wasn't enough

when you wanted all of my body
i gave you all of my love

when you wanted all of my time
i gave you all of my world

and it's fine if you could
never be mine --

how could I ever let you be
part of my dusk

so why don't you tell me again
if that's all i am worth

so why don't you tell me again
if that's all i am my love

why don't you tell me again
if i'm just a **** ?
aviisevil Feb 2022
don't **** with Kanye, the crazy Kanye, beefing with Jay-Z Kanye

he's so sick, a *****, an addict, the **** Kanye, take the mic Kanye

take your pick, he'll diss yo' kids, kiss yo' ***** Kanye

can't spell Kanye, outselling your fav' artist Kanye

the old Kanye, the 808 Kanye, he outsold 50 the kim's Kanye,

yeezy for yo' skims Kanye, don't **** with Kanye.
aviisevil Jan 2022
wait, in your sleep,
don't let them take you away
before we meet

for one last time then
you can leave

while you rest let me dress
in a funeral morning

stay with me until i
forget how to breathe

how to sing, how to speak
for i'm nothing without you

for all i ever did was to
bleed dry for you

in the cold afternoons
to seethe jealously

standing by your doors i
keep watch helplessly

to burn for all yours wants
for all your needs

that feed my desire
to be warm

filled with thoughts
and dead seeds

frolicking in your arms
forever on repeat

day after day
into a dying forest

that knows not what
is grief

sheltered by the moon
many a lover seek,

dying too soon.
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