He looks like he's dying
he actually physically looks like
he's dying

with his tired eyes
thinning face
and his broken body

and his cigarette lips
they only spread lies
and he calls it his
'smoker's honesty'

we are not what we think we are
we think we are these
intelligent
beautiful
talented
beings, ones that have dominion over everything

but when you really look at us
we, as humans
destructive
angry
love-drunk
humans.

people should not have to die every time someone argues
or every time there's a fight


We think we're so smart
so **** sophisticated
but
look
at
us

We look at these animals
cats
birds
goldfish

...and we think they're stupid
because they don't feel the same way we do
they don't speak our language

we as humans
are not what we think we are

Do you remember
when the dragon saved the princess
from that awful knight
because I can remember it clearer than most

the knight, a greedy *******
who's foul lips
wrapped around a glass bottle
who's foul lips
sought the bottle
and nothing more

and remember when he hit the princess that first time
remember when he grabbed her hair
remember when he shoved her down
put away the scars
the scratches
the bruises
treated it as
'oh, he's just showing his love'

and remember
remember that one night
when she finally called his bluff
she said 'no, you don't love me'
remember when he hit her with the bottle
the knight, what a **** bag
but after that,
came the dragon
with his tattoos and heavy beard
on his motorcycle
and beat the knight away
****** him to hell
or at least prison
and a lot of angry inmates

and the princess and the dragon
set away
to have a nice little life together
with the night safely locked and gone
in a far away tower.

Late one night
there was a bug on my face
and i reached up to brush it off
but all i could feel was a cold hand

on a good day you can see my heart and soul
and let me tell you, the best days are the ones when i see you.
you make me happy to live.
It could just be the regulatory chemical substances moving in my body creating my feelings for you
yet
on a good day, you make my heart skip a beat
and you make my soul dance for joy.

i need to scream
i need to run
but i am so sick of my voice
i lay here, writhing in my own darkness.

i lack the ability to understand
why caring is such a shunned thing
it's okay to care
it's great to care

so why, i wonder, do you overlook it?
why don't you care about anything?

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? CAN YOU UNDERSTAND THAT I HAVE LOST MYSELF I HAVE LOST ALL MEANING I CANNOT GO ON BELIEVING IT'S WRONG TO CARE I HAVE SUFFOCATED THE PART OF ME THAT WAS ONCE ATTACHED TO YOU I HAVE DISCARDED WHAT ONCE ATTACHED ME TO MY FAMILY SIMPLY BECAUSE I CARE.

you should stay home today. nobody wants to see you anyway
go away.

why are you even here? nobody wants to see you
i said go away.

but would anybody care if you left?
yes.
no, you're wrong.

well, you're sure confident today.
no, i'm just tired of you.
too bad you're too weak to get rid of me
go away.

you worship God like he's actually there
that's because he is.
you're wrong.
my God loves me. He saved me.
then why am i still here?

why do you try?
because i'm lovely.
wrong. you're a fat slob
maybe you're wrong.
but you don't believe that, do you?

look at you, you're pathetic. can't even tell him you like him
go away!
i won't leave until you've ripped your veins from your bones.
i won't leave until you give up.


why are you still here?
because.
you think i might be right

I hate how easy it is
for her to just look at her scars
to talk about them
like she talks about the weather

'you're beautiful' I tell her
'thanks' she replies
'really. I mean it'
'I'm sure you do'

She sighs, fiddles with strings
I try to emphasize my point
tell her more. all the time
but daddy never told her
'you're beautiful'

I hate seeing her scars
little reminders
that at one point
I could not be there
to love and cherish her
tell her that she's beautiful

Maybe I'm being selfish
maybe she loves her scars
maybe she doesn't want them to leave
but maybe she's just being strong

I am not the judge.

I tried so hard to avoid the stereotypes
I tried so hard that I didn't realize
I was becoming one.

Let me take your hand
give me a pen
let me use your skin
to build a work of art

I'll make you prettier
bring out your scars and bruises
and watch me.
I'll ink you in

Lastly I'll write my name on your wrist
and a few others, too
I don't mind if you don't know who they are
they're gone and forgotten, just like me and you

hatehatehate

the word just kind of rings
makes me ponder
all these things
and i start to wonder

who am i?
who are you?
i tried to fly
but
it soon became an issue

because hate kept spinning
pinning me down
and i was aching
just waiting for you

but it wasn't a surprise
when you didn't come
you could see it in my eyes
when my castle came crumbling down

I just want to
run
  run
     run   a w a y

I'm sick of this town
I'm sick of this person
really, who would miss me?

There's no way to describe it
it's not wanderlust
whatever that is

It's a queasy feeling
it almost makes me nauseous
and my lungs feel like they're closing
and everything's getting too close.

I'm sick of this town
I'm sick of my judges
But mostly, I'm sick of you.

I
struggle to
recall that some
people are not as
nice as they may seem

I'm not afraid to love you
I'm afraid that you won't love me
because I have a few more scars
because I'm a little bit different
because I'm a little bit louder
because I'm a little bit bigger
but maybe
maybe there is a certain hope in the darkness.
maybe you would love me

A gossamer wind blows away from the sky,

And creates an angel, dear.

As one aged man says goodbye

To the life he lived here

A child is born, and she will be called Destiny.



She gives

                       She takes,

                                                       She decides fate.



For the gossamer wind that once came from the sky,

Has become a subtle monster

Never listening to the children’s cry.

She sees herself as God

On a playing field of soldiers



She’s here,

                 She decides,

                                   She takes lives.





We cannot stop her

But we can try.

The once a gossamer child from above

Now a burly fiend from the sky

Together we can stop Destiny.



  She Gave,

                  She took,

                           She was only human.

Tears glint in the moonlight

In the old attic where I sit

The window is open

  Letting bitter air in

Yet no wind.



I flip through pictures

wrinkled old hands touching film

I remembered her clearly

  Even as we got old

We still laughed



I remember when we met

she had beautiful blue eyes

and curly brown hair



More tears roll down

I find her old dress

  It still smells like her too

I miss her so much

But cancer is a dangerous thing



a grandfather clock rings

  Just like me

a Grandfather, that is

looking for my comfort

I rub the dress against my face

She was so beautiful



I can remember everything about her

she had died in May.

  She was born in May too.

  I loved her like I loved nothing else

but God needed her more.



Bitterness spreads

then pain

   but I will be with Lily soon

For I too, am slipping away

  seventy five



I close my eyes and pray

I'm not sure what I am praying for

But I hope it is good

   And I hear angels

   coming to take me away

I do not want to be fat
(even though I am)
I do not want to be skinny
(that is a lie)
But I would be happy
just being medium.

I
may
look
weak
but
I
am
getting
Stronger.

My mommy called me gorgeous
That was when I was young
Now it's just a chorus
coming from the devil's tongue

The angels tell me not to worry
Not to dawdle on childish things
I'm just in a hurry
yes, that's what they say

But I can't take it anymore
I'm going away
I'll make no more than a dull roar
because I'm going away
I'm going to be
F R E E.

Her breath was short
Her body paper thin
Her face contorted
Body racked with sin

Sobbing in the corner
Looking pretty glum
This must be the horror
Of what we have become.