Scanning my book from page to page,
I feel a sense of sorrow and rage,
Emotions flooding up,
In one hand a book and in the other a cup,
Turning the thin white sheets,
Reading from word to word,
Absorbing the beauty and the rhythm expressed,
Though tense and distressed,
Putting yourself into the script,
Visualizing as if you're it,
Focusing and concentrating so hard,
Forgetting where you are,
Surrounding may be ambiguous,
But the feeling is marvelous,
That's how I feel when I read,
Try to adopt this habit as it's a good deed....

Under the lamp,
I sit with a pen and a pad,
Searching for the right words to write,
To describe you,
As I think and think,
I realize I have no words that can describe you,
It is so hard to write on you,
But then again I'm lost because of you,
In this dark illuminated light that falls on my pad,
I put my head on the pad,
And doze of in a deep slumber,
Dreaming what would it be like in your arms.

Spirituality sparks from within,
Love rejuvenates from depth,
Eyes drown and sink,
From beginning to end,
My heart yearns for you,
We connect through engaging eyes,

Your touch, Celeste and blazing,
Radiating and driving me crazy,
What is it about that touch?
It excites me so much,
My body experiences changes when you caress,
That touch so exulting that it leaves me wanting more.

I broke and i shattered
I fell and lost my way
I reviewed my mistakes
Couldn't find none, so fell even deeper in ache
I saw that spark in us
But maybe it wasn't meant to stay
Or maybe we weren't supposed to end it all this way
I was trapped in the darkside
Death enveloped me, despair came rushing my way
I deserved your loyalty, but love it wasn't you who was loyal
It was the pain, that everlasting pain that stayed and destroyed me throughout these days
I saw a glint in your smile
It made my whole life so eternal
But on reaching this stage of my life
I learned no one remains forever
Everyone either leaves or changes
I confess, i fell in abyss
I am depressed and there are days when i can't bear it
But my love, our past keeps me going
It will always push me
And because of one mistake of falling in love with you
Today I stand straight
Half of my body limp, scarred and wounded
But i learned so much more from our experience
That i came out strong, regardless of what others say
I actually feel weighed but sorry for you
Because you lost a part of me that i couldn't give to anyone but you
That part of me so resilient, so loving and so extraordinary that no one else may ever be able to give away.

Could it be a call from the meadows
with the swirly sounds of the wind
and the teary dark clouds of monsoon

could it be the silence of the waves
with the radiance of the moon lit
casting a reflection of serenity

could it be the stormy nights of December
with the sound of destruction
and the deathly rattling of the windows.

Framed antique,
Exquisitely decorated,
Gentle caress from one ear lobe to another,
Magic in mine words,
Trembling lips speak in a flow,
Mine woeful queen,

Your eyes glisten,
Your skin pales,
Your arm scarred,
Bruised are your legs,
Through posterity are you remembered,
Is that all you say?

Nay honey,
Your milky white skin,
Red ****** lips,
And curves arouse mine heart to flutter,
Thou shalt cry and wail,
But mine love will never fail,

Infinite bits merge,
A cluster of clouds thunder,
Down falls the rain in such grace,
Thine silhouette dances past me,
Mine blood rushes through mine veins swiftly,
Such divinity in one soul,

This creature,
A heavenly monster,
Haunts me in mine dreams and addicts me in mine sleep,
Alluring me senselessly,
A very high dose of that twitch lifting from the corner of your lips,
I feel on top of the world wanting so bad to see this artistry,

Finally viewing such grandeur,
Oh mine fair maiden !
The glory of thine beauty paralyzes me,
My body surrenders in your warmth,
Stranded together,
My flesh radiates intimacy.

dripping love
romance so feisty
****** and seductive moans

soft touch
and heaving chest
breathing so synchronized

under the light of a candle
in silence
two bodies collide

sharing passionate kisses
caressing each bump
all worry fades away.

I dream so nice,
So deep,
And then my mom intrudes,
'Arfah wakeup it's 1 pm.'
Sigh there goes my dream :(

The exalted valleys call to me,
The echo I hear farthest away,
Speak to me,
Your voice so melodious,
So chimy,
Churns my heart,
Hollowing the holes beneath,
O my love,
Is this love true?

I lost my youth,
After a feud with you.

Somewhere afar,
                                                 ­ There
                                                   lives
                                              something
   ­                                                   so
           ­                                         dark,
                  ­                                  That
                          ­                          evicts
                                ­                  the soul,
                                      And sets the body apart.

                                                     This
                                                 evil demon
                                                     first
                                                 possesses
                                                  the body,
                                        Leaving behind scars.

                                                       I
                                                have not
                                                  found
     ­                                                  a
                                                 suitable
                                             horror movie
                                                       to
                                                   watch,
                                                      So
 ­                                                  this is
                                                    what
       ­                                        so far I got !

Everyone has this darkness within them waiting to be revealed
a darkness that no one can ever imagine
it takes a considerable time to trigger that feeling
for those who are away from it are lucky
but for those who know, always suffer
it is infused from the day you come to this world
and with you it exterminates
pain is what causes it to errupt
it chains all your feelings and extracts your emotions
you eventually become oblivious to pain
all you know is how your life is in shackles
how slowly, piece by piece you die out
like the incandescent light of a candle
it flickers in the darkness
and illuminates until someone blows it away
that is exactly how the life within you is blown away
your soul lifeless and you all alone

For so long have I kept stuff,
Hid them to myself,
So people don't see my pain,

So many times have I tried telling you,
But the words just don't seem to form,
My lips are sealed for I don't know how long,

I cried for so long,
My hatred made me wail in pain,
My dark side hidden and a secret,

I still try telling you,
But what's the point when I'm scared,
And you refuse to see the wrong,

Now I repent wishing I'd told you earlier,
Scared now to tell you,
I'll be scarred with this dark secret for life.

The long winter nights,
Crying and repenting on my sins.
Everyone has a dark side,
But mine is so dark that I feel hopeless.
As I sit back on my chair,
Scratching the bottom of my seat.
Ouch !
I accidentally slit my finger.
I feel the blood trail along the contours of my hand,
But as motionless as I sit I don't care.
My thoughts seem to fly in the midst of this day,
But then again I guess it's just me.

if only i was in knowledge of the monster that hid within him
i would've been more cautious and my actions, controlled
how oblivious and frail was my heart to fall under his prey
i yearned his flawless presence as it quenched all my thirst
but little did i know his soullessness
he was dead and cold,

the hunger in his eyes starved for my flesh and his sadistic smile;
all he wanted was a body to complete him
he was not made for love, his promises were all lies
he feasted on his prey and moved on to the next
he was but a womanizer, a heartless lover
he was dead and cold

my life once revolved around him
manipulated by his orders, i was utterly in love with him
i cherished what little time we spent together
the exquisite memories that i reminisce, even now leave me in tears
oh how precious were they, but in the end nothing mattered to him
he was dead and cold

Now I've been given a deadline to write a poetry,
But you know what ? I can't :(

No matter what I do, what i become
I will still never be enough for you
deep down i know what runs in your mind
your expectations from me and what you want me to be
you know that and you think i will never deceive
i know you raised me and showed me the world
but where you're wrong is the fact that you taught me lessons
where were you when i was a victim to bullying?
where were you when i was scarred a gazillion times?
where were you once i was a victim of abuse?
i cried and slit my body so many times
i attempted a suicide
i nearly killed myself, but you were never there
and now if you say that you know me well, then i guess you're yourself living in delusions
you know nothing about me regardless of your control over me
you lost me halfway through my childhood because you never understood me
i just wish you knew me, guess its too late now you lost me!

Empty holes deepen in my heart-
needles penetrate through my valves,
and explode into streaming blood,

Being close to someone-
and then losing them is like vandalism-
or a wild storm terrorizing the sea,

Once you lose someone,
you lose a part of you that's not ready to let go,
like a baby bird without its nest,

Crying like volcano's erupting,
dying a millionth inside,
like each cell feels lifeless and stops without their presence,

'Death' you can say is worse than losing a toy or going through a break up,
It's like never having to see that person again,
Or forgetting how they look,

As time flows by,
Its becomes harder and harder to live without that someone,
Although their presence once may seem unimportant but after their death becomes vivid n' clear.

I marked my heart
with scars and blemishes
some of today and some of tomorrow
Oh how time flies
once I was a dreamer
now hopelessly dead,

I had the strength to seek
the power to interpret and analyze things
the willingness to feel the pain and sorrow of others
but now all that fades away
once blessed to feel emotions
now cursed- emotionless,

Deceit and heartbreak
decayed all that was around
heart once so loving and soft
perished everything one by one
changing not perceptions
but also me on the way.

Who are you said I,
Shallow smile,
And cold eyes locked on me,
He began,
I'm no other than the evictor of sanity.
I take away peoples happiness,
And exchange them with tragedy.
Why would you do that ?
Is it not to you of any importance,
That tragedy leads to misery,
It shatters peoples memories,
He proudly said,
Why would it mean anything to me,
When people fall an easy prey to my ways.

Losing her was the worst thing that ever happened in his life,
The heart touching flashbacks were very painful,
Her demise had a devastating affect on his career,
All he could think about was how beautiful she was,
The only memory that she had left behind,
Her breathtaking smile that could mend a gazillion hearts,
Her eyes that would sparkle under the moonlight,
She had left only a glimpse of herself,
He felt miserable not telling her earlier how he had felt about her,
And experiencing his utmost love and desire for her,
This guilt had ruined him and broke his heart,
He could now never love someone as much as he loved her,
Her presence was enchanting to him,
She was everything he ever had,
His heart had to bear her absence but deep down he knew that she would always be there for him.....

Sitting alone in the attic,
I shiver as I cradle my body.
In this dark I sit alone,
Cold and scared.

I've been feeling as if I'm being observed,
This dark demon that  haunts me.
It has  left me with just misery and pain,
First it kills and then possesses my body.

I shudder to think how this evil is feeding on me,
Extracting all my memory.
All there left is my soul,
And hope that one day I'll be free.

I've stayed quite long in despair,
Lurked my fears, faked my emotions,
I've been asked by many if i was okay,
But I kept myself composed and engraved,
So many times i fell in abyss,
A different dimension with hopelessness contained,
I cried alone in the darkness,
Everytime that i was pale I'd say,'I'm okay!',
Slowly and gradually i lost my faith,
In burdening up sins and choosing to be left stained,
On losing a part of me i realized,
How alone i was and how regretful i was,
It was the emptiness in my soul that struck me hard,
It was the fraility in the choice of my words that sunk me in the dark,
Every tear that  I shed,
Every memory that i had,
All but a lie pulling me to my own death,
All the guilt that i had,
Scared of what I'd done and i how I'd face God,
I lost myself half way and the other half just faded away!

'Follow your dream.'
Said a man.
I said,' I have many but I don't have a chance.'
He chuckled.
'Whats written in your fate you will get. But atleast make an effort and do your best.'
I nodded.
'You're destined to do great. Just take a step ahead.'
I smiled.
With that he left.
He was right.
Everyone has a chance.
From that day  onwards I never looked back.

Before you came in my life,
My life was in turmoil,
In remembrance of the last one that got away,
My in fluency to speak about pain,
It was a mixture of anguish and aggravation for those around me,
My ghastly; preferably long and dark nights,
Where I sat on the bed to drip woe out of my eyes,
My lumpy throat,
And catastrophic burst,
Spoiled brat was I,
Dripping blood which sprang from my slit wrists,
The torturous and innumerable suicides I committed,
I'm scared of trusting an unknown,
On a relationship which is rather disliked by others,
What the heck !
The rest will always speak ill,
But it is you I'm worried sick about,
What if you do the same to me,
Like the rest of the lot did to me,
Make me love you and subsequently leave me,
That's what all do.

She gave her daughter away,
To a man who betrayed,
As life moves on she faces many obstacles,
She misses her daughter but can't meet her,
Getting engaged to a man,
To this new and strange man,
In his home she lives with nothing but abyss.

What is life?
Life is all about love and peace,
It tends the heart to cease,
People hope and dream for more,
They dream about gold,
Money means the world to them,
But, they do not know love is a precious gem,
They hope for the best,
Just like the rest,
The after life is something they do not worry about,
While these people enjoy others are in doubt,
Hopes and dreams do not always come true,
They often come and go like Deja Vu,
Still people desire,
They ask for diamonds, rubies and sapphires,
They get it but still yearn for more,
What they do not know about is how meaningless life is,
You yearn for more but never get it,
Love is pleasure,
Something that you should treasure,
Money is just something you can measure.....

A 100 miles,
A 1000 miles,

Nothing matters to me,
Unless we're talking about you,

A city away,
A country away,

Distances may increase,
But my heart and love for you may never cease,

An ocean apart,
A continent apart,

My feelings of loneliness and deprivation long gone,
They may always fulfill with the memory of you,

A planet away,
Within the stars,

The light or ray of hope I see,
I see myself believe its your heart that calls me,

Beyond the Galaxy,
Betwixt the universe,

A lot may change in my life,
But one thing I an honestly say is, we may never depart.

Fulfill your dreams,
Then and only then you shall die in peace

Let the spotlight shine on us,
Let the route take us to a place without any fuss.
Let there  be haters,
Let there be lovers.

I just wanna play in this rainy weather,
With my friends,
Let people Judge all they want,
Let  them haunt.

Because clearly I don't care,
About you,
About him,
Or about them.

Standing in the middle of a crowded stadium,
Millions of people from everywhere,
Cheering at the top of their lungs.....

BAM !

The lights flew open,
There I am on the bed.
Dreaming about a sweet victory,
So much for dreams to come true !

When life had me in shackles
I had known
that this was reality for sure,

Dreams once lit holistically
showered my life with love and compassion
they took me where there's serenity and peace,

But when arose the demons of terror
the nightmare of deceit and hurt
then came rushing in actuality,

Twas my life that had fallen apart
my soul that went in abyss
and my heart that was scarred,

I was blinded by superficiality
by the ugly lies that I was told
and the flamboyance of people,

It had then struck me
I was nothing but alone
oblivious of the dark secrets kept from me and the hate amidst this world.

You made a mistake,
But you have no courtesy to man up and say sorry !!!

Escaping shackled memories,
Narcissts here, and narcissts there,
Communicating later to form a truce,
Oblivious of everything that had once happened,
Unveiling the truth that had once been ugly,
Negotiation being carried,
Terminating abhor and replacing it with love,
Easing all the pain and worries,
R**epairing that once broken friendship.

The cold and lonely nights of December,
I was sitting in my chair by the window, I remember,
Thinking about the chances I had,
The things I desired but could never have.

As I stared out into the woods,
I saw a light,
It was red and so bright.
I wondered where it came from.

Curiousity was killing me,
So I got up and made my way to see.
As I marched my way down the track,
I saw a boy sitting on a sack.

I asked him what he was doing here,
He said his house is full of people he can't bear,
What could there be that made him shudder,
And not want him to go home to his mother.

I dropped my gaze at his hands,
It was the same light I saw from my window,
I asked him why he was flashing the light,
He said so that someone could come and save him and take him away from this dreadful night.

I turned around to see if someone was there who could help,
The minute I started talking I turned back to confront him.
There was no one there,
No boy, no sack.

Well that's odd I had said to myself,
With that I had left and made my way back,
He disappeared.
Where could he have gone.
From that day onwards I used to dream of that boy calling for help,
And when I ran to help he would be gone, again !

When I die I know you won't miss me,
When the wind blows my soul away-
I know that even then you won't think of me,

You'll forget how I was to you,
You'll be so indulged in your life-
That you'll forget that one person who came to your life and tried to love you,

When the clock to your life stops,
When you'll be going away-
I know that even then you won't think of me,

You'll forget all my messages,
You'll forget how in love I was with you-
That you'll only demand for someone else in your afterlife,

When you breathe your last breath,
When in pain no one is around to see your struggle and hold your hand to calm you-
I know that even then you wont think of me.

They say why I love him although he is full of lies,
I say, "I don't know its just his eyes."

Fervently,
Aspiring my goals,
Candor I am,
Anticipating what I got,
Demonstration,
E**voking a thought.

Flashing outburst in my heart,
A** celestial feeling,
Luring me to touch you,
Laminating these emotions,
I reach out for your hand,
Numb I feel,
Gliding within you.

Irresistable love,
Nostalgia.

Love distant,
Off shore but true,
Vandalizing all sorrow,
Eternity it feels to be in love with you.

Drunken,
Laying under the magnificence of thee
Enchanted in your company
Searching the eternity-
My eyes scan beauty
Your raven black hair that fall on your face,
Your silken kisses
And soft touch
Trembles my body
Erupting arousals
My legs locked unable to move,
Electrifying each stroke
I feel at haven when encased in your love
I move in to touch you
And you vanish in a flash,
I open my eyes in tears
Knowing that it was just another mind game,
Dreams sadden me
As I lay on my bed alone-
Lost in my memory,
Feeling its exquisiteness.

My heart frail and doltish,
Misled me in my own destruction,
My life traumatized and shackled,
Its like I'm paralyzed,

The tragic sentiments i receive from people,
The forced smile that creeps on my face,
This is so hard to take in,
Why ask and then torment when you know already that its not okay?

Shadows haunt me,
I crumple in the corner of my room trying to release my aggravation,
Exiling my monotonous routine-
Of forcefully smiling,
I tremble at the twitch of the corners of my lips,
My tears flow hastily down my cheeks,
Pausing on every bump,
The coldness in my heart and my soul increments as I gradually fade away with the wind,
Crude words; half broken, half unspoken try escaping my mouth,
But not a word is said,
As if a lumpy feeling rages from within and a soundless whisper comes out,
Tortured and chained relentlessly in the dungeon of fear.

I feel annoyed,
All my parents ever do is complain,
Complain about this,
Complain about that.
I have no life !
I feel hopeless and shattered.
I'm not a kid anymore,
I deserve privacy.

Stars are meant to shine,
Like bright and glowing diamonds in the sky,
As you see a shooting star,
You wish you were somewhere far,
Far from oceans and the seas,
Far from anything that may exist like a tree,
Wanting to spend some time alone is what seems best,
Not sharing your sorrows and being laughed at like the rest,
Others see no harm in towering up their sorrows,
All they ever do is complain about their lives,
Thinking only they have all the problems,
Even though everyone has them,
Showing no sympathy to the rest is what they do best,
Other than solving their problems all they do is act like pests.....