My voice is not strong
and for that
no one understands
what- I'm really saying

They don't hear the apprehension
in my tone
or  how each syllable
leaves my mouth the same way
a baby bird leaves their nest- fast an daring

and now
I'm telling my story
and there paying attention


yet they still don't understand
they peer, and they criticize
write notes
nod in understanding

but there not really *listening

At the edge
I was too close
now when I see the endless fall
I close my eyes
and strain to breathe

On the packed street
I was all alone
now when people surround me
I shake
and strain to breathe

In the car , sitting behind the wheel
the world started to spin- I had to switch seats
now when I try to drive
the tears drip
and I strain to breathe

Locked in my room
I wonder
why I try to breathe at all
when thoughts- dark and deep
persuade me

*I'm worth nothing at all

So many nights
I now spend,
begging words
that have no meaning,
to the wall

And from darkness filled of empty spirits to
golden beams of sun
I sit
and wait

But

these eyes won't shut
and these thoughts won't leave
Maybe, i wonder, if- you return
will i be able to sleep again?

I can not stand up and cheer
it's your victory
but I can not show I care
in fact, I can not show my face

because

under the stars
twisting the grass through our fingers, our hands met
when we heard the crickets singing to their friends, our eyes met
and that night, my heart met yours

and since that time
the green grass
and the calls of the crickets
remind me

your heart pushed mine aside
when you called me only a 'friend'

so I can not stand tall
show my face, let you see me blush
I can only support you from afar
I'm only a friend

Here- with me now
I can hear your pain
I can see the agony flowing from your lips
I can feel you watching me

but-  without me later
you'll only have the dark
and
I told you, once, and once again

All you said was 'leave'

So,
I hope in the dark
you can realize
I want to share your pain, feel your agony, and see what your eyes see

I want you,
I want to hold you tight,
I want us to be a team

I don't know how to be more precise

I can't leave, I can't even let you go
*I'm in love with you

You tell me no
You scold me,
scream at me,
give me all the pain you've got.
But,
I told you I could endure it all,
and now I need to test my strength.
Mark my words
your pain is
all mine, equally so.

We are a pair
don't you remember
interlocked chains of silver and gold
you told me
we held each other together

now you're frayed
and losing time
I need to remind you
I'll succumb without you

so let me be our strength
guide us towards the sun
trust me
together- we've already won.

There's either too much to say
or too little
We have no happy medium
We're at a fork in the road
You're telling me to go to the right
But you're not telling me why

If I depend on you,
take your hand,
close my eyes,
will you leave me on the side of the road
or will you push me off the edge?
I want to believe you'll pull me close, lead me around the ditches,
stop me from stepping in the highway

I need you to know the extent I will depend on you
and I need you to understand what I see and feel

And that's my greatest fear
I've slithered through the barrier and I've already trusted you
And you don't know me for who I really am
And now everything, every touch, every tear, all depends on you.