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Fluttering gently
To the ground, a whisper of
The distant gunfire
True fear
It isn't a gun pointed to your head
Or even at your child's
Or your mother's
Or your father's
No
True fear
Is knowing that no matter what I do
No matter what I say
Right now
You are not in my arms
When you need most to be
They mark my lack of innocence
My sorrow and my strife
They're forgotten and fading now
But once they shaped my life

I don't want to forget my past
Strange as it may seem
Although it was painful
It was more than just a bad dream

It's made me who I am today
It's made me understand
And sometimes I revisit it
With a shaky hand

I know it won't make sense to you
But it's plain to see
Exactly what I've been through
White lines all over me
I can see it
You try to hide it
But you can't
Because I've seen it
So
Many
Times
Before
I try to help
But you won't let me
And all I can think is
Why?
I know your pain
Do you want to feel it?
I don't want you to
But you won't let me help
I just wish I knew
Why?
I want to help you
I need to help you
Please let me
Seeing anyone
Who feels that way
It tears me up inside
I want to help you
You won't let me
Why?
All I want
Is for you to be happy
Because when you are
I am too
Because when you're not
I can't possibly be
The thing is
I don't even know you
But still
I feel
And
I
Don't
Know
Why?
My dear we have a week apart
An entire week of not seeing you
You'll be so far away from me
What am I supposed to do?

Perhaps we could do video chat
But then, that would be awkward, knowing us
I worry that we'll grow apart
Despite our growing online buzz

It's not like we don't talk anyway
Through Facebook and our various writing sites
But I love being around you in person
You send my heart rate to dizzying heights

Oh, I'm going to miss you so much
Miss your hugs and awkward looks
Your smiles and your hand in mine
The times we have to pretend we're reading books

I love you, you know this
But I'll say it, even so
And I know you have to do it
But I don't want you to go
Rant and rave
Scream and shout
You don't know what you're talking about

Screech and yell
Wail and cry
Their flaws are blind to your eye

These people
You worship
Are not gods

And this obsession
You have
Is not healthy

They are flawed
Not perfect
Nobody's perfect

And yet
You rant
And rave

— The End —