all the hellos and goodbyes
boil down to a rainy Sunday
with piano music
and hot chocolate

Those silent arguments in my head
Sometimes make me wish I was dead
My eyes all puffy and red
I just don't want to get out of bed
Is it normal to cry all night?
Enough to wish I lost my sight
In a ball, I clutch my blanket tight
Wanting to give up in this endless fight
All alone, out of sight
No one sees this side of me
No one hears my silent plea
My pleas to be free
My pleas to be me
~29/4/21

Nothing like a cup of coffee to open my eyes
Watching the early sunrise
Hearing the annoying bird cries
Silently watching the blue skies
Dark, black and deep
Slowly pulling me away from sleep
In my throat, I let the hot liquid seep
Hearing the coffee machine go 'beep'
I wait for my energy to take a leap
So I can stop counting sheep
~27/4/21

Blame all your problems on me.
Regarding your empty sea.
Often letting go without care.
Keen to surmise when not being fair.
Entranced in your little fantasy.
Never thinking naturally.
Admitting you were wrong would be a start.
Nothing is wrong in your heart.
Dabbling in your sick and twisted ways.
Always expecting me to be the one who obeys.
Favoring your pills over your flesh and blood.
Rambling in pain only wanting to be loved.
Acting like all is well.
Immune to your false tell.
Drifting far away from this dark haze.

Secret message: Broken and afraid.

The Moon put a poker face,
To look at the Earth
With a steady pace.

If you look, you see.
If you look...
You see?