So I meet someone new
A new friend
One that isn’t very different from the the friends I have now
One that is vastly different in every way
I made a new friend
One that I cherish with all my heart
A friend that makes me happy
But not just any type of happy
The new friend I made
Is more than just a friend
She’s mine and I’m hers
And I hope this will never end.
I met a girl who makes me really happy. She was talking me trough a slight anxiety attack and when I calmed down this is what I wrote.
I understand that I came out
But only to a few
My sexuality and drinking
Cause me to worry
about what I say
How I phrase things
But it's driving me mad
I love a boy who is off in college
he'll probably have a girlfriend when he comes back
I love a girl who moved away
She was happy and I hate her ex.
The main reason i'm going insane
Because deep down
I know that the chance of me calling either of them mine
is slim to none.
I have a friend who's against drinking and drugs and she thinks bisexuality and homosexuality is wrong. I haven't told her about this and i don't plan to. I'll lose a friend if I do
I wonder how you would feel if you knew I drank 2-3 cups of coffee a day
Just to stay awake
I wonder how you would feel if you knew I don’t want to sleep.
I just want to stay awake forever.
Or how would you feel on an opposite day. When I just want to stay asleep forever.
I wonder how you would feel if you knew that every time I look at my wrist I want to cut myself
That’s why I wear a jacket everyday
I wonder how you would feel if you knew I want to get drunk every Friday night
That I constantly crave alcohol now
I wonder how you would feel if you were here to see me like this now
You are a nice person
Everyone looks up to you
You always do your best
Or so I've been told
You're at the top of your class
You always get straight A's
You never turn in homework late
Or so I've been told
The comments sound better than they actually are
They would be surprised if they knew who you really are
Some people need to stop telling me about how perfect everyone else is. People like you need to accept me for who I am or get the **** out of my life.
I found myself thinking about you again
The person I've been trying my hardest to forget
I find myself repeating your name over and over again in my head
Wishing, maybe, that you will show up
I find my mind wandering to thoughts of what could've been and memories of you
When I have nothing to focus on your name comes to mind
The saddest thing is,
I know I was nothing to you.
Everything I saw in you
I don't see anymore
Everything that was once there
Is missing from your core
Not so radiant
Don't sparkle or shine bright
The way your arms enveloped me
The way you use to hold me tight
These things now bring me nightmares
They cause my suffering
And now that you have left me here
You will be the death of me
I'm trying hard to let you go
But you never seem to leave
Staying in the back of my mind
Haunting my thoughts, always bringing them back to you
I think this explains how I'm feeling but I'm not quite sure....
Impossible to live without
Everything I've ever wanted in a friend
I just thought you should know what I think your name means <3