I want to be an artist
using multiple types of medium

I'll be a chef
creating wonderful pieces of art
with my food

I'll be a writer
making people feel so many emotions
with my words

I'll be a drawer or a painter
creating beautiful works
with the pens and paints of my choosing

I want to be an artist
an artist that makes peoples emotions
run wild

Eventually I'll cry myself to sleep
Then I'll have a nightmare
Only to wake up again
Gasping for breath
And the tears
they're still rolling down my cheeks

I wonder what it would take to change your opinion of me. Would it take the most extreme?
                          would you have to see me on my worst day
                          contemplating cutting or even taking my own life

I wonder would it take much less then that. Would it take the lest extreme?
                            would I just have to say the wrong thing
                            or do something stupid for you to decide

I wonder would it take something in the middle of the two. How about something in the middle of the extremes?
                             would we have to physically fight
                              hand to hand, throwing blows

Sometimes I wonder what it would really take for you to change your opinion about me because you only know that good side

Tomorrow the family will gather again
We'll have some drinks and make some plans
Come December we'll follow through
Come December we'll say goodbye to you

I really wish I hadn't done it
but I had no choice
I had to stop the thing in you
before we both had died
I never once regretted it
even though I still see your face,
and hear your voice
and feel your touch
but in all reality
It had to be done

In the mitts of all the terror
That is, in fact, my life.
I hear your voice talking to me
Saying that it's alright.
You're telling me,
in the back of my mind,
that what I want to do is right.
You're telling me,
in my clouded thoughts,
not to worry, not to fright.
For soon after this nights ends,
my regrets will be no more.
Very soon after this night ends,
my memories of you will be no more.

There through all my clouded thoughts
Is a plan in the works.
The gears are turning,
in the most creative of ways,
to execute it without a flaw.
In this, my plan will turn out right.
Never again will I need to fight.
Never again will I need to fight.
I'll see your face no more,
because there will be no excuse,
your remains lay on the floor

“I'm Sorry” I said
in that dream last night
I was hugging you
then I started to cry

I have no idea
nothing at all
about what I did wrong
or why I said those two word
(I'm sorry)

I didn't think it was
Something I'd done
it might have been, more likely,
something that happened

Not between us,
not necessarily,
Just something that happened
it affected us both in a way

I woke up from that dream
last night (I'm sorry)
turned off my alarm
to find I'd been crying