When no one
pays attention
to your soulful
sad story.

I've always struggled with writing about God because lately I feel like my relationship with Him is almost nonexistent

I grew up like any normal Catholic kid. I was baptized, received reconciliation and first communion but never really felt His presence

In middle school the only thing reminding me that there even was a God was the fact that I went to church once a week and one of my classes had to be religion

8th grade my faith somehow became restored. I started believing for the first time ever that maybe I was worthy of being one of God's creations

High school came and I was in a sea of public school kids who would look at you funny if you said "God bless you" after someone sneezed. I no longer felt His presence.

My 10 months in AmeriCorps was this incredible journey. The amount of love and compassion was undeniable and yet I really didn't ever think about God. When times were hard I didn't turn to Him. When I was overwhelmed with happiness I didn't stop to thank Him.

I want to believe
I want there to be something more
Something bigger than this universe and the reason why I feel small
Everything doesn't really make sense to me
And the more I try to figure it out the more lost I get
Because when everything was crumbling around me, I didn't feel some all loving power
I felt the emptiness of my heart and the pounding in the back of my head
And I don't know if God is real or not
This is first time admitting that
I always had this fear that if I stopped believing God would reveal Himself and strike me down
But I am here
I am alive
And that has to mean something

It's hard to be
Original these days
Every word has
Already been spoken
Each phrase
Done to death

Every idea is a cliche
It's all been done before
Yet we claim
Our ideas are our own
Even though
Someone long ago
Thought of it before

I know who I am
And where I came from.
I know I'm not perfect,
and that's okay.
Life's not always easy—
it'll knock you down.
But the key to life,
what it means
to truly live,
is this:
Look up.
When you're down in the dirt,
Look up.
Find the strength
to follow your gaze.
When life's darker than night,
Look up.
Find the hope
that there's light up there.
When people are unkind,
Look up.
Find the courage
to pass them by.
Whenever life gets tough,
Look up.
Try to remember
the One who lives up there.