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AnnaMarie Jenema Feb 2016
Love is a ship,
it will break and can drown you.
It can be repaired,
but the nails and boards will always show through.
It takes time to fix,
slowly mending but never quite the same.
Love is constantly changing,
The gentle stagnation of the repairs,
The gentle stagnation of two hearts as they understand one another.
Love is a ship,
It will break and can drown you,
but is can alter itself to the perspective of the world it dwells in.
A metaphor like Love is a ship is a conceit because I'm comparing two things that are thought of as incomparable. That is the purpose for the title.
AnnaMarie Jenema Jun 2017
These conflicting feelings,
I despise them so,
Wondering if my love still reaches you,
Or if we share the same frustration,
Sitting here,
wishing you were near,
Your arms surrounding me,
Your wonderful voice resounding  in my ears,
But all I can do,
Is question whether you feel the same.
I despise wondering if my love is unrequited,
Or if you feel as you always have.
Perhaps it's the distance,
Leading me to misjudge your heart,
And yet I'm so afraid that you no longer feel the same.
I hate these conflicted feelings,
The longing for your love,
But afraid you no longer feel the same.
AnnaMarie Jenema Mar 2017
Smooth, gentle, kind caresses,
passion, desire, love,
Why do you crave me?
Why would anyone be driven mad by me?
I am simply me.
Plain, ugly, bothersome.
And yet you treat me as though I have value.
I am blinded,
unable to see any worth within myself,
so how can you see any?
How can you hug me as if the world might end?
How can you stand the sight of my tummy,
covered in stretch marks and fat,
squishy and disgusting under your touch.
Yet you call it a soft cloud,
as if you've never felt anything as comforting.
I am grotesque.
I despise my body,
I hate my looks,
and the terrible personality that follows.
How can you see light,
where all I know is shadow?
How could you love me,
how could you care for my flaws?
This leaves me hollowed in confusion.
AnnaMarie Jenema Sep 2017
They say love is a flame,
But how can I agree?
For a flame consumes,
Until only ash remains.
But love gives unendingly,
Wouldn't it be better to say,
Love is water,
Life giving,
Guiding you home,
Rocking you to sleep.
Water comforts
Heals,
Cleanses,
But a flame,
It eventually dies out.
So let this love consume me,
Not as a flame would,
Selfishly taking for myself,
But comforting and lively as the waves.
AnnaMarie Jenema Oct 2015
Drowning,
is that what this feels like?
suffocated by nothing but air,
duties to preform,
but nothing gets done.
working hard,
but blamed for getting no where.
something fun that went a-rye.
power mad authorities,
wishing for control.
chains refusing to allow,
this wasn't how it was meant to be.
Friends laughing and enjoying life,
not to be mesmerized by the numbers of unfair calculations.
Hard work that spiraled to the ground when that power wasn't enough.
No more titles,
no more 'authorities'
in this happy place I created we do what is enjoyed with those who share an interest.
Not in the budget,
than make it so, or just don't go.
We can have fun other ways.
Simple can be fun as long as no one corrupts us.
it was my creation,
but I am equal to those who come.
Money is not a priority,
power is not our undoing.
It was meant to be enjoyed,
and reminiscenced after these few years,
not the cause of agony and failure.
AnnaMarie Jenema May 2014
To the teddy that always guards my dreams:
You quietly sit there,
not a word to be said,
In my room you preside,
your ears always listening,
you never whine, or complain,
judgements don't fall very easily,
from your stitched mouth,
I cry and complain a lot,
most of what you hear is sad,
I'm sorry for giving you,
only frightening memories,
My tears sometimes,
drain down my red face,
to be absorbed into your fur,
Only you know my heart,
and understand my every motion,
whether I tell you my hopes and dreams,
or not,
you already know them,
I hug you often,
you being my closest friend,
none understand me,
but you were the first.
You keep all my secrets locked up,
inside your round self,
my protector and guardian,
Even though it's hard for you to give me advice,
I still treasure every moment you give to me,
my precious little bedside knight.
AnnaMarie Jenema Sep 2016
The Eiffel Tower, Mona Lisa, American Gothic, Old Cathedrals.
Were you given the opportunity,
you you visit these?
The Giant Bean in Chicago, Central Park, empty Insane Asylums renovated?
Most people would leap for the chance to see these in person.
They are kept well protected if not renovated.
What about a dying city,
where no one sees it's treasures?
An unused park,
beautiful but becoming emptier as the days go by with a vast space in the middle of a bustling city.
What about houses that are decorated, and painted in every hue?
Saving a neighborhood corrupted and invaded.
Here a house was fated to go up in flames,
rather than adored for the artist's creation.
Broken buildings, missing trains, amphitheaters vast but abandoned other than by the homeless.
Beautiful sights all of these - an obvious advantage for any city.
But no, tis not so.
Instead they go unnoticed and uncared for in a city who cares only about 'ruin ****'.
The destruction of once great artworks.
Created in reference to Detroit, MI
AnnaMarie Jenema Feb 2017
Did you know that I was adopted?
A child taken from her mother not long after birth.
Did you know that I had an other half - a twin,
but they soon died before formation.
Did you know that I live my life by holding onto high standards,
for fear of disappointment and further rejection.
Did you know how often I've been told, "I'm pregnant"
And could only wish for the child's demise.
Or how many times I've heard, "He's in jail, but will come for you"
About so many different people,
Did you know that throughout middle school I cried myself to sleep,
only because of the pain this still hold's in my heart.
Did you know that I hate lies more than anything,
But keep lying to myself and saying, "I'm fine"
That I wear a mask around her,
pretending to be the perfect daughter.
That their obsessions have became my fears,
That all these little things add up,
creating a void of sadness that unleashes at unsuspecting times,
that whenever I look into a mirror all I see is them -
a monster staring back.
AnnaMarie Jenema Nov 2016
this
problem,
my worry
dissipating,
Dissolving,
It's scattering.
And Shrinking.
blurring from what,
once was evident until
the burden begins to lessen so.
This worry of mine is slowly morphing,
transforming,
Transcending the boundary that once was
And now we'll just have to wait and see.
To find out what comes next.
AnnaMarie Jenema Feb 2017
it echoes loud and clear,
a thunderstorm passing by.
reverberating within my mind,
bringing with it flashes of confusion,
bolts of newfound understanding,
With it I have lost all sense of identity.
This diversity thunderstorm is new territory,
lands desperate for travel & discovery.
Who am I?
What do I feel is correct?
I'm lost wandering through the rain.
AnnaMarie Jenema Jun 2014
I try to crumple them,
and tear them apart,
trying to quench the flame inside,
but do the sparks still light?
is there kindling some where deep in the abyss?
Hadn't i ridden them from this place?
I'll drown these feelings,
but you never allow that,
and drag me back to the surface,
They'll choke on the smoke,
but you fan the smoke away from me,
Yet you never give me an answer,
"do you Like me back? Or is this one-sided?"
You laugh and show me kindness,
only to yell at me later.
no matter how many letters I give you on last days of school,
You still reply with silence,
you hugged me,
danced with me,
make my heart beat with kind words,
yet, you'll never give me my answer,
tell me!
silence can't be an answer.
You always fall for the pretty girls,
who mostly turn out to be mean to everyone,
and break your fragile heart,
I want to mend it,
the more it breaks,
the more they steal your smile away from me,
The smile that is a sun of bright happiness,
I'm mad at them for that,
but you care about them,
so I'll never do anything,
expect wish for your gaze,
your words,
but not your feelings,
I guess these feelings still live,
after all the tears,
I'll hide them,
I'll plunge them into darkness,
and forget their existence,
Who are you?
oh, my past.
Good Bye, my unforgiving love,
I can't miss you,
I won't allow myself to.
AnnaMarie Jenema May 2014
I don't deserve happiness,
I don't deserve love,
I never wanted sorrow,
Nor have I wished to be lonely.

I had wishes and dreams,
some were deep enough to still survive,
"I want to be a prima ballerina, and make everyone smile"
"I want others to love my art"
"I want to be a mermaid and swim all day"
"I want to be a voice actress"
I wanted so much,
promised so much,
but it all fell away,
Logic over took dreaming,
and reality woke me up.

I wish to fall asleep,
and dream again,
but I don't expect much,
Money gets in the way,
but I used to ignore that.

I would teach myself the ropes,
and amaze others with what I know,
first
second
third
fourth
fifth
position
I taught myself them all,
through libraries and books.

On days when i grew bored,
I would draw until I got better,
eventually they called me an artist,
but I'm no good at all.

I dont diserve these talents,
If they'll never get used.
who's to say I'm even good,
If everyone is better than me.

I wasn't meant to be here,
never wanted,
only tolerated,
a problem for everyone,
who only deserves to disappear.

maybe then I will make everyone smile,
but I wont go down without a fight,
but I want to be their angel,
The reason for their smile.
AnnaMarie Jenema Sep 2017
Doubt
Remorse
Fear
Loneliness
Worry
Gears  turning
Lost direction
Moving forward
Blindly
AnnaMarie Jenema Jun 2014
I've always found it odd,
that I could feel such a sensation,
For each night that a dream decides to slip into my room,
Whether it be a glorious dream of happy memories and moments to be,
or A dreadful fragment of the most darkest and dreariest times that allure tears and fright into such an unknown and unconscious time,
Even though the realization comes only after the dream,
Each one has a meaning,
almost never were they because of thoughts that crept in before I drift into the night,
but of times to come,
a warning or gentle tug at what will be,
My dreams tell me of unseen times that I shall either meet with a smile, tears, or shock.
They foretell the future,
yet I never see them coming until the time has passed.
such a mysterious world of wonders I enter as I  float into my wildest dreams.
AnnaMarie Jenema Sep 2017
Lacey Bows,
Ribbons in pastel,
Poofy dresses,
Victorian style,
This is my aesthetic,
An aspiring ******.
Garters and stockings,
Bows and floof,
Poofy in pink,
Sweet and blue,
Cuteness sourounds me.

Morning light,
Heavy eyes,
Just a dream.
Jeans & a Tee,
Patting my pillow,
I'll be back again.
AnnaMarie Jenema Feb 2018
The floor is sticky,
It tugs at my feet as to keep them in place,
And refuses to let me abandon it.
Liquid chocolate courses through my veins,
Rushing to elate me,
Break the bond the floor has made.
A smile crinkles the edges of my cheeks,
And effort pushes my calves as if to move me from place.
Can someone cut away this floor,
So that I can hurry?
I need to get there.
Let me go.
Set flames to my tracks so my steps are quickened.
The fire lapping at my heels,
As I blaze my trail.
I need to get there.
Let me go.
Could someone set flames to my heart,
So I never forget this longing?
The fire reminding me to continue,
And I can reach it.
I need to get there.
I have to go.
But this floor pains me,
It covers my toes in goo,
and it oozes,
caramel melting,
I can get there,
But I'm stuck.
I have to go.
Free me.
AnnaMarie Jenema Nov 2016
There's a drip somewhere,
echoing inside my mind,
I try to ignore it,
to not realize how often my thoughts bring me back,
to that constant stream,
of echoing water.
I realize that I've lost my senses,
and my thoughts can no longer pertain to one topic,
but keep flowing back,
to the echoing that is so enchanting.
I make little mistakes in my daily life,
more clumsy now than ever,
As my concentration melts away into nothingness.
I can't seem to get you off my mind.
AnnaMarie Jenema Sep 2017
Glowing red,
Myface heated,
As I try to be myself,
Thigh high stockings,
A mini skirt,
Corset pulled over,
And the piece of resistance,
A small black choker.
But oh,
My face,
My real skin on,
Showing true,
On goes a sweatshirt,
I can't do this yet.
AnnaMarie Jenema Jun 2017
Like a snowstorm,
You came crashing into my life.
Making me giggle,
And giving me happiness I had never known,
Snowflakes meeting my tongue were reminders of your kisses,
Your hugs came in flurries of snow angels,
As the cold snow surrounded me.
Your love warming me in its aftertaste.
And yet the summer came,
Making me long to see you again.
My love of winter is boundless,
But my love for you is an endless snowstorm.
AnnaMarie Jenema Feb 2016
A house is built for shelter and care,
Created from the Earth to bring stability into a home.
It is unwavering and sure.
...
Or is it really?
Years later,
will this house still stand?
Change is like a house,
it's foundation will crumble,
and with it the walls,
and with it the roof.
Can a home really be stable,
Created on such a basis?
Each good home falls,
and with it a family.
They will leave,
They will die.
The house will become unrecognizable.
And with it, The foundation will crumble.
"It is better to have an Ark" Ruth from Housekeeping says. this book seems to bring with it interesting insights.
AnnaMarie Jenema Mar 2016
Why do I always feel excluded,
As though I'm worth only air?
I'm shy, that doesn't mean I have no interest.
Why do I feel left out,
when they won't invite me into their group?
When I work silently by myself,
No one willing to change this soundlessness.
I wish to speak up,
but my word's are trapped,
Whimsically working their way up,
wanting to say, "I want to help!"
Why do I feel so excluded?
AnnaMarie Jenema May 2014
Everyone disappears,
They leave me all alone,
She faded underneath the wooden toy boat,
dragged under by the fury of rampaging little boys,
I searched and searched,
but never again found her,
Than a new friend finally came along,
but because of me she faded away into a new group of friends,
forever disappearing from my sight,
I cower in the corner of loneliness,
walking the path of the ignored and forgotten,
A new group of friends soon faded into black,
once i found out their true schemes,
My first crush disappeared because of distance,
as a stranger whose name and location hasn't been noted,
My first mom faded after she realized she never wanted me,
My dad disappeared after knowing his mistake by creating me,
A monster my family made,
Who watches as everyone fades during the sunset,
My sister swears she'll disappear on her 15th  birthday,
all because of hatred I deserved,
in the summer of fifth grade I met a girl who intrigued me,
after we had became best friends,
she never wanted much to do with me,
and I was tagged as a back-up friend,
we knew a lot about each other,
and she was the truest friend I've ever had,
she moved to a different school,
disappearing on me like everyone,
only to come back a year later,
but in my mind she's the ghost of some one I miss,
and no longer who I knew,
but a newer version.
Even in a crowd,
I am a lonely person,
who misses many,
and can talk to few,
Everyone will just disappear,
fading away,
day after day
AnnaMarie Jenema Mar 2016
I have tasted happiness,
and nothing quite compares.
Once you have drank from it's waters,
there is no turning back.
For a long drawn out time,
Shadows of darkness had swept over me,
engulfing me.
Happiness penetrated those sentiments,
allowing rays of happiness in.
But these rays are fading as quickly as they came.
I long for them to stay,
long to rest in their comforting arms,
knowing that they are permanent fixtures.
But this is not true,
and they continue to fade,
and    s   l   o  w   l   y
D   I   E   S
A  
   W
             A  
                  Y
AnnaMarie Jenema Sep 2016
Isn't that what you wish for,
your perfect ending?
In truth it's what we strive for - happiness.
People change, learn, and grow.
They become better versions of themselves all for the sake of living life.
All for the sake of attaining that one goal.
But you.
I wish that for you.
If only you could hear the heavens and stars themselves sobbing for you,
because they know how this story will end.
You will continue this life of agony,
never truly understanding your own faults.
And they will become your unraveling.
You will sink to the very depths of the sea,
wishing you could only know what you did wrong.
The only answer you will find is: nothing.
It's not my fault.
It's never your fault.
Predictions are essentially impossible,
no one can dream to image what one's life will become.
But you,
You've been playing with fire since the beginning,
and it will never cease.
Your cycle will continue,
again and again,
in a relentless loop.
Until only death gazes upon you with pity.
AnnaMarie Jenema Nov 2016
Even the falling of the leaves,
in their beautiful state of discoloration,
will soon wither away into nothingness.
This is not to say that their inevitable end is rooted in tragedy,
but rather to make way for the new.
Their end brings with it the cold winds,
the details wisps of frost,
and soon the gentle falling of flakes,
that dance across the sky.
It does not mean that when they die they will be forgotten.
No.
They always remain in our hearts.
Fall is a special time of year,
one many get excited over,
but whose to say it's more so than any other.
Winter pierces the heart,
with it's wind and frost,
than warms it again with cocoa and lights,
a time of year for family and those you most treasure.
Autumn may end quickly,
but it always goes in a fading hue of colors,
One that will never be forgotten.
AnnaMarie Jenema Feb 2015
The sakura petals, whose life spans are so short lived, begin to wilt,
and with their falling blossoms, my old love dies out,
it's flame, never again to be rekindled,
They wilt away as the breeze air carries them far from my loving tears,
he had found a new destiny,
a new love, whose petals beam a brighter shade of pink,
that wind only made me shiver in loneliness,
it's bitterness held by jealousy,
but than it brought with it a sweet sensation,
'I'm glad to see his sunny smile return'
even if another had cast it, at least he could find his own happiness once again,
farewell  my dearest love,
and may the your smile never again forsake you
AnnaMarie Jenema Sep 2016
Wisdom speaks in voices unheard,
It falls upon death ears,
and a mournful conscious.
When spoken few take the advice handed to them on a silver platter,
nor do they realize the pearls hidden within crisp, thoughtful words.
Heed advice that may fight at your side.
When stress and anxiety's rise
find comfort in those around you,
those who seek to save you from your own demise.
And yet, you will not listen.
You will continue you fail and cannot save yourself nor those you drag deeper down into your own tragedy.
How selfish you are.
Yet it is not your fault.
No, it will never be.
Because this advice can only ever fall upon death ears.
AnnaMarie Jenema Mar 2017
I'm terrified,
not of you nor the things you do,
but of myself.
I'm scared of how I'll react,
Of awakening my inner demons.
That their influence will overtake me,
And I will fall as they did.
For the daughter of monsters could only be a monster herself
a cursed bloodline
You tell me time and time again, "Your not them"
"You didn't make their mistakes."
I was their mistake.
How can I be told that I'm not them,
when I can so clearly see the influence.
I see it in my hair's curly strands,
In my quiet eyes that hold back tears,
In my own talents and interests.
Their blood radiates through me.
"Your so much like me babygirl"
spirals through my head whenever she sees me.
I'm so much like them.
I have his chubbiness,
Her ****** features,
Their penmanship even looks like mine.
I have her temper,
His intelligence,
... So how?
How can I ever escape these demons  who loom around me?
I'm so much like them,
I'm so scared of finding their faults within myself.
AnnaMarie Jenema Jan 2015
Has my sorrows left,
as I thought they had,
or could my tears be revived?
Though these may have regenerated,
my feelings for him are long gone,
or so I believe them to be.
When he returns, how will time pass,
as it is now,
or will love blossom once again?
AnnaMarie Jenema Sep 2017
Fickle,
Ever-changing,
Humans are evolving beings,
Who could know their thoughts?
Their feelings?
Constantly changing.
AnnaMarie Jenema Oct 2016
If I were capable of explaining  these consequences,
How would I do so?
How to explain that I was born in chaos,
but lived all my life in a protective bubble?
That it never touched me?
That your apologies are meaningless,
and I'm used to the way I've lived my life?
Adoption cannot be explained?
You could never understand it's emptiness,
and yet necessity as I do.
Stress is it's only mark.
Well that and the emptiness.
You may say,
"My mother is more like a sister."
"We look and act a lot alike."
"We're so similar we fight,"
"Or she gets me, and we understand each other."
Do not take such minor things for granted.
They should never be lived without.
You share the same eye color,
body type?
You both hiccup a lot,
or move around in your sleep?
Do not ever take such simple things as a grain of salt,
when it's gone,
You will wish to have noticed it more.
Growing up without knowing these about yourself,
why you are who you are,
You loose yourself.
Your unable to find your own identity,
or it makes the progress much more difficult.
Who are you?
The monster of their creation?
Are you their biology,
Or made by experience and living your own life?
This is the very struggle of my soul.
Do not ever take such important memories and wish them away,
NEVER take such an important thing,
saving you from my own loneliness,
For granted.
Due to an intriguing conversation I had with a friend.
AnnaMarie Jenema Feb 2017
What can you do when your eyes want to well up with tears?
When they fall to the ground,
dropping from their plummet?
When there's enough to flood the world into Atlantis,
and they refuse to stop coming.
Rivers, lakes, oceans,
they spread and widen,
deepening their depths as the new water is added,
rising from the sheer amount.
And yet you can't stop them,
your eyes refuse to quite producing the liquid.
...
But now after the world's demise you run dry,
every last tear has been shed,
and none will come.
Or so you had thought.
I've cried for far too long.
AnnaMarie Jenema Oct 2017
What is the relevance of time?
Why does forever have to be so short?
When do promises become lies,
And happiness sorrow?
Forever is just a word,
Used by those who hope.
Fools who dream,
And idiots like me.
AnnaMarie Jenema Jun 2015
...
And so the cycle continues,
why does my heart
so easily love,
so easily trust,
is so easy to please?
why do I tell my thoughts to strangers,
making my feelings known?
It has only ended in heartbreak.
My heart crushed from love,
crushed from mistrust,
it's sorrow seeded to the farthest reaches of my heart.
Tears frequently overflowing,
yet I fall in love, and make new friends,
And then they leave,
only to become one with the cycle:
And so it continues
...
AnnaMarie Jenema Feb 2016
Freedom is all she needs.

That tiny twirling Butterfly,
Whose wings could fly her all the way to the moon.
Gliding through the vast sky without a care.
She dances until noon,
Than disappears from sight.
Noontime mingles with the moon,
Allowing her to freely fly,
A beauty, such as herself, had once been merely a cocoon.
And before that, a caterpillar,
Wishing to be free, and sing a new tune.
I've never made an actual rhyming poem before. I usually write free verse, but it was a requirement in a poetry class I'm taking. I had to use Rhyme, assonance, consonance, onomatopoeia or alliteration. I choose to rhyme and some alliteration. (I also did a hint of consonance).
AnnaMarie Jenema May 2016
This force that impacts our daily lives,
now awakens to keep me stirring.
It causes the brain extra aggravation,
and the mind a restless night.

We clash,
creating the rub of two minds,
to never fully comprehend the other.
Our mind's gears pulling in different directions,
the speed set at different intervals.

If friction tears us apart,
than why must we get along,
what glue could hold us tight,
keeping this crumbling friendship alive?

That of family bonds,
Tis only an obligation!
What must I do so that they are not disappointed in me?
How can we mend this shattering trust and love?
I fight a lot with my mom. I really love her, but our fights get really in tense, to the point she threatens to run away, or says she'd be glad when I finally leave. I love her, and her words really hurt me.
AnnaMarie Jenema Nov 2016
Have you ever had that moment,
when your heart almost stopped?
Where time froze over,
and your mind ceased in it's tracks?
Or even when they seemed to over flow,
like countless drops on a rainy day,
where they passed too quickly too acknowledge,
but the gentle sound proved their existence?
And nothing else seemed to matter.
AnnaMarie Jenema Apr 2014
If some one died,
I wouldn't shed a tear,
does that make me dry ice?
If I am angry,
It still won't reach me,
but those who my anger captured still got hurt,
If I cry,
I still feel no pain,
are my tears fake,
If I am with friends, if I do something I love, If I go some where fun,
I feel no joy,
does that make me numb?
Can I even feel anything, If my heart is past frostbite?
What storm even occurred?
What happened to me,
as the years went past,
to turn such a happy kid, into this icicle?
Has my heart even froze?
AnnaMarie Jenema Nov 2016
We are of one Universe,
One Galaxy.
But is this really so?
I am a galaxy,
filled with stars and planets,
fragments of the past.
These atoms manifest,
becoming the makeup of my very soul.
You are your own galaxy,
shining stars,
new-forming planets,
along with the pre-created.
But isn't it impossible,
that galaxies would collide?
Thy are separate beings,
unable to understand the creation of another.
Each planet unique,
each star too distant to truely see.
No galaxies could come close to touching,
nor could even hope to completely understand another -
and yet the empathetic human heart,
that lays in the very core of the galaxy,
is not without some compassion,
and a desire to not be all alone,
in the universe we are trapped within.
AnnaMarie Jenema Jan 2018
A being was born,
Cast in emotion,
The iron that molded her.
Embedded with jewels,
Feelings of every fragment.
But this grandeur didn't suffice.
She pleaded with the muses,
Begging for a way to share her talent.
And so they armed her,
An arsenal of words at her command,
Formed to relay thoughts and feelings.
She spoke until her mouth ran dry,
And her inspiration low.
Once more she came before her muses,
Hoping for a medium other than her voice.
For words do not last and can be easily forgotten.
Again they complied.
This time she was gifted paper and pens as to record her portrayals.
And so she went to work,
Writing and creating as the inspiration struck.
And the muses rejoiced,
For more began to take up pens and spread her gift beside her.
AnnaMarie Jenema May 2014
She always gave a gift to me on my birthday,
Something childish to a teen,
a girl more than a baby,
would get only a childish object,
What I most wanted,
was forbidden to ask for,
Finally she gave me gifts to match my age,
but they were stacked in the corner,
what is the point of a gift from who I care about,
If they will never give me time,
A friend knows what I like,
They make-up to me with candy and treats,
but never has the time to give,
their most precious gift of all,
I had a lot of time,
to be spent all alone,
all I needed most,
was someone to give me theres
AnnaMarie Jenema Jun 2014
I build a glass wall between us,
I know I should've used bricks,
but I couldn't stand to be blinded from your dark brown eyes,
and swaying black hair,
I fell too hard,
but had to give you up,
my heartbeats which quickened each time you spoke,
could never reach your fingertips as you passed through mine,
I numbed myself to you,
my resolution hit,
a bullet through my heart,
yet my friends kept me going,
we are awkward when we speak to each other,
but I thought I was over you at last,
one single look,
one single word,
and it's all melted again,
but you hate me,
and only fall for other girls,
I've only been a problem for you,
and got in your way,
I just can;t keep myself up,
I fall for you over and over again,
This glass wall,
is slowly cracking
AnnaMarie Jenema Jan 2017
weak.
broken.
Afraid.
Coward.
Shy.
I am a mosaic.
.... or I would be.
I'm still trying,
working hard to pick up the shards,
to glue the pieces back together,
one by one.
It was shattered.
They took turns,
swinging at the glass,
that crowd you see before you.
Those lingering shadows whose harmful words sting my hands,
as glass cuts through.
Blood trickles down my flesh,
old wounds barely healed.
A heart left open,
easily on display,
but fragile as it crashes.
... But a hand reaches to help pick up the pieces,
and more gather,
unaware of the shadows who loom beneath the surface.
So many hands reach out to help,
more than ever before.
And I catch myself in awe of all the people I met,
and the friends who share their kindness with me.
More than ever before,
and my heart can't help but to happily cry as gratitude pools over.
I'm so glad to have met everyone in my life this year.
AnnaMarie Jenema Oct 2016
This weight called gravity,
I cannot defy it.
It's pulling me closer to you.
I don't wanna admit
That I'm questioning it,
That I'm capable of these emotions,
I want to turn an anti gravity switch,
And come back down to Earth.
I need to protect my brain,
Before you **** out all my air.
I need some space to breathe.
To choose if I will fly to the moon,
Or come back home.
Yet it's not my choice.
The gravity pulls me
Despite my commplaints and questions.
AnnaMarie Jenema Aug 2017
Monochrome,
Boring,
Drag,
Tragedic,
That's what I was.
That's what my life used to be.
I faced recess war,
I became a ghost,
Disappearing from this world,
My nose always in a book.
Deemed weird,
Crazy,
Stupid,
Fat,
Clutz.
I was an outsider.
This town was a prison,
My own personal hell.
I couldn't escape.
I believed I deserved it.
Every word,
Every action,
Every tear,
I was worthless.
I had no hope,
No future.
Nothing lies beyond this town.
...
But there was
I found you.
All of you.
I found happiness,
Self worth,
Late night's spent joking,
Laughing,
Smiles.
I am not judged.
I am not shamed.
I am beautiful.
and treated as if I deserve to be told my worth.
...
Even so,
There is fear.
What if I lose this?
If In my happiness I forget how to live in loneliness?
People change,
They leave.
And I am too trusting.
My heart is given away freely,
But then it's shattered.
How many mosaics have I made?
How many times have I tried to fix my heart after being so deeply hurt?
Too many to count.
Can I really have a happy ending?
She who is so used to tragedy?



I hope so.
AnnaMarie Jenema Sep 2014
Do happy endings always end happily?
Are fairy tales really fair and kind to all within them?
What about little red's wolf who was cut down,
hacked to pieces by the woodsmen's axe?
Not a day was left in his cut-short life.
He was hungry and without options.
What about their side of the story?
Malecifent was executed;
a sword to the Dragon's heart.
She was excluded and deemed evil.
What about their happily ever after?
Their actions may no have been moral,
nor so easily dismissed,
yet a villain should still have a good end.
Did they want to be called 'villains'
a title given to the wicked.
Don't all characters deserve a happy ending?
Is there really such a thing as villains?
Those who are deceitful, fierce, or cruel,
have their reasons for what they do.
Or is it a title bestowed to the misunderstood?
AnnaMarie Jenema Oct 2016
Had it been so long,
That I confuse a skipping heart,
To one that beats with fear?
Does nervousness and anxiety run its  quarters?
Or is it beating like a drum,
But I can't tell the two apart,
After he ripped out my heart and ate it so many years ago.
Then what is thumping in that cavity?
What lies restless where my heart used to be?
AnnaMarie Jenema Sep 2017
"Heaven is the place,
Where you think of nowhere else"
Oh? Is that so?
Then that playground,
When I was a hurting child,
Swinging to dismiss reality,
Letting my feet rise to the sky,
And with it my worries fall,
Those swings became my nirvana,
A safe haven from the pain.
AnnaMarie Jenema Nov 2016
Look! Over there!
Can't you see him?
That shadowy figure.
He catches your glance every now and then,
Smiles smugly and then stares.
What? You say you can't see him?
That you don't know what I'm talking about?
Well to be honest, I can't see him either.
But she says he's there.
He whisper's words during class,
making it hard to concentrate.
He tells you all that your worth:
nothing. You have no value.
That you need him to survive.
That your lost without him.
Look at your family, everyone you love.
Oh don't worry,
he only threatened to **** them a little.
stop doing this you scream,
stabbing holes into the walls,
as if this could stop him.
They can't see him,
no one can .... except you.
A smile spreads across his face,
"You belong to me, and only me."
AnnaMarie Jenema Feb 2016
Rising to meet the sun,
A relative of the wind and time,
His branches reach out,
Stretching from his slumber.
The forest flames awaken fear,
Into the heartwood at his core,
He gives the thought a shake.
He would like to see the spring,
After the falling snow glazes the forest.
A resident of nature,
The Redwood withstands it all.
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