If I had one chance I would take it
If I had one shot I would face it
Maybe take a couple more never chasing
Except for you but I get complacent
I get so caught up in my early contemplations
Evading the commonplace of my every complication
Every road and seam of indignation
But if I could right my every left then maybe we could make it
May the odds be ever in our favorite
And my mistakes never be mistaken
For any indication or inclination of this fading
Every sown seed grows greatly despite the implication
And I would be remiss if I said I didn't miss every awkward hand hold and hand placement

It’s all her fault
She let it happen
Who knew she  played the part of an insignificant  person oh so well
The extras in those movies
Yup that’s her
Everybody’s the main character in her life story but her  ,
So she settles  and hide
And politely pushes herself   to the side
Says everything all right
Pretend
Disguise
All the feelings she  tries to hide
Always come back to haunt her
Then she’s  left alone
And then ask “why “ ?

She’s  kind
And sweet
And ties everything together so neat
And then she’s  left alone
Everything unravels
And then ask “why”?
  
She says the right things
Always been supportive  
Never really cared about herself  only others
And then she’s  left alone
And resorts to writing her  emotions on a piece of paper
And then she asks “why” ?

She’s  responsible
She’s  always relied on but when it comes to her there’s never a person she can rely in
Does what she’s  told
No matter how much she breaks
She doesn’t show one crack
Her heads off the rail but she makes sure it appears on track
Never pushes anything to far
Calmly keeping up the act
She doesn’t  step but tiptoes
around everyone and anything around her
And then she’s left alone
And she really wonders “why”?

On nights like this, my heart panics,
Life's meaning loses clarity;
And why is the moon so radiant?
I've no need of its charity

On nights like this, all seems hopeless;
If the sun could wake from its sleep,
Its warmth and light could not dispel
This cold darkness that runs so deep

On nights like this, sleep goes astray,
And Paradise comes within view,
Ah! But cruel angels guard the gate,
Refusing to let Love pass through

On nights like this, being denied
The pleasures that make life divine,
I dream of the forbidden fruit
And pretend it may yet be mine

On nights like this, prayers gently fall
From my lips, then bitter tears start;
But no comfort comes -- peace eludes
My distraught, long-suffering heart

What good is night without the thrill
Of a tender, passionate kiss,
Without the warmth of Love's embrace?
O, the torment of nights like this!

His thin shoulders,
Dutch nose

the hair at his temples is grayer than when we met
five years ago.

Something I can’t quite put my finger on.

My love for him
is a ships in the night love.
We circle, cutting separate pathways through
a vast ocean, on course for something

something

that keeps us signaling
onward, onward.

We look to the past privately but do not
speak of it.

The times our bodies touched.

I count them (I think he also does.)

One: the way I used to graze his arm with my hand
Two: an accident, swaying with music, too close
Three: drunk with the courage to kiss one another
Four: sweat, bed, the sun rose and I held his hand at the door
Five: years later, a hug that lingered,

the times we are allowed to touch one another,
hellos and goodbyes, in cars and trains.
We continue to pass one another.

And when we talk, we talk
and laugh and I feel a churning of waters,
a warm ocean swell that says: this is it!
Hold this.

The tide runs out,
Ships press forward on prescribed routes
through blind oceans.

Twisted reality, my art in 3D.  Scratched my words into the sidewalk, painted my soul on a wall.  Conversed with canvas, I'm laced to the high-top.

Sat and watched as the trees swayed,
listened to hear what the leaves say.

so many
failed
relationships

i think that
i might be the
problem