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We laugh
at least you do
I watch you laughing
thinking the joke wasn't really that funny
at least to me

But maybe that's the punchline
I know to you this all makes sense

But that's a different punchline isn't it
for another joke I've never heard
or just don't find funny

maybe this just lacks context, don't you think
even the slightest sense of reality

But the gap between where I stand and where you do is only getting wider
we're drifting, but not together

You keep punching holes in your boat
like bad jokes
asking where the waters come from as you sink

lower
              lower
                         lower

I think its time I untied you from my life (preserver)
less you climb aboard when your boat sinks

Bad jokes and all
no punchline here

Just you and I, not making any sense at all
Andrew Kerklaan Jan 2015
I don't even need an answer to
the question

... I just want to know you'll all be right when I'm gone.
Does solution ever come?
Do we carry these burdens with us forever?
And beyond??
Will I ever be free to float away from here?
Will I fade away?
Or do I have to go out in flames?

All questions I am without the means to answer.
But ALL meaning is meaningless without  absolution.
I need this certainty or surely I will waste away.
You can choose to be happy
You can choose to be blue
Just remember, it all starts with you
You've asked me how can I see a future when love, in all
Its numinous beauty, is waning?
I reply, the immortal stars still shine above the veil of clouds.
You say, why are the salmon swimming to their pools of origin
Only to die as they spawn?  Only to die?
I tell you their love is unconditional, like mine.
You ask me did the giant sequoia know it was shelter for the burning grasses
When they walked from the seas?  I reply yes they knew.
You question me about the lofty snow cranes that fly over the Himalayas
And I reply by describing
How the priestly flocks, chanting on their mission, honk—
Announcing the mantle steps to the heavens.
You inquire about the elephantine manatees gracing the shallow banks
And wonder if the sea mermaids remember their lives beyond the latitudes
Of capricorn and cancer?
Or you’ve discovered in the wind a new reasoning as to why
The talons of the paired eagles lock in midair as they court?
You want to understand the nimbus garden, ocean slate, of lake Titicaca
Where resides the Andean sea horse gliding above the clouds?
The whales that circle dance in unison collecting krill?
The noetic display of the birds of paradise, the songs of nameless creatures
Playing in the wilderness like a forgotten melody only lovers lips remember?

I want to tell you that true love knows this, that life in its
Prismatic shimmer is all the myriad colours of infinite existence wrapped
In time to the sublime structure of white and bones.  I must tell you
That the flower is mighty in its opening, the humming bird is a sorcerer
Who needles ambrosia with vortex wings weaving his way to the Gods.

But I am nothing beside your disbelief which has arrived, before
I can even imagine the sweet awakening, like doom, my shell is the iridescent
Hollow of the one eyed Abalone, discarded in the deep fathoms
Of the ocean pressures.

I swim the tides as you do, investigating
The endless tendril seas,
And in my chest, during the night, I woke up empty,
The only thing treasured, a golden face
Trapped inside my dreams.

                                                        ­­          
                                                             ­­                       — after Neruda
Andrew Kerklaan Jan 2015
So we can get this over with already...






I told you...




                  "I'll just walk away"
Don't drag it out.
Love\Loss
I need this absolution
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