It's 3am

I'm on the phone
No one's awake and I'm alone

It's 3am

The radio's on
Songs are played on lonely station

It's 3am

I'm in my bed
My eyes are open and sleep has fled

It's 3am

I'm on the balcony
The sky is dark and just quite scary

It's 3am

Some windows have lights
Could they also not sleep tonight

It's 3am

I'm still awake
When will life ever give me a break

On train headed home
Going to be on my way to visit you
Even though I didn’t visit you much when you were healthier and living
Could this be guilt? How do you go watch someone die when you barely watched them alive?
I go because I feel bad, bad for my family that they’re going through this
That my dad has to watch his mother suffer and pass
I’m going for them.
Makes me wonder do they even need me?
Why should I go?
Am I a bad person?
I would rather go to class and do vogue
Instead of dealing with the cries because you may just die
Other people would be crying at the thought of losing you
Yet here I am ALMOST crying just because I feel bad and am frustrated.
How much does it really mean to watch one die whom you barely seen alive?