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Balloon strings

at a children's

birthday party
As
a
mom
I’m.       not
perfect
I make.                          mistakes
I forget things
I lose.                            my cool
and some days
I go a                         little crazy
but it’s OK
because in                      the end
no one.                   could ever
love
my        child
the.    way
I
do


Inspired songs
1) Growin’ up raising you (official music)
by Gabby Barrett

2) they grow up too fast(official video)
By Jimmy Charles
Written 7-21-24
Posted
8-16-24::
Tears rain onto cheeks as you watch
In my head wheels spin around
Speech crackling like phone line static
Words blurs barely making sound
How can it be I already epitomize alone?
You reassure me there's plenty of time
Doubts creep like morning fog
Mentally assessing mountain you must climb
Staring at fragile fingers
Present compared to past
Sun set in an instant
Night falling fast
Surroundings mostly hazy
Some parts crystal clear
Ironically what I witness best
Are the things I long to disappear
I'm left with knot in my stomach
Getting tighter with each turn
Wanting peace known as a child
Naivete time won't return
I bought one-way ticket to worry
Shouldn't have boarded train at all
Choke my sorrows and lungs with smoke
Drown yours in alcohol
Life nicer through a glass
Sure it ensures your fear departs
Pulse started pounding louder in my ear
Love wistfully contained within hearts
I cannot explain terror
Bleeding out
Hole will not close
Stubborn ways too old to change
Your incongruence shows
Forcing hope straight down throat
Waiting for falsity to be revealed
Flowers you planted instead of weeds
To be crushed on cruel battlefield
Your comfort tonelessly whispers to me
Thought that would soothe my stress
Did not argue with your perspective
For your sake try obsessing less
But under surface shrieking
Phrases pondered remaining hid
Grasping for method to save you
Before you are gone and I wished that I did
This sure does hit hard now

Written 6-9-22
Only heretics
will seek the truth
Against the grain
they find the proof

Pandering Angels
wings on loan
In fear of shadows
— where answers roam

(Dreamsleep: August, 2024)
I’m gonna have to pause and reflect
He obviously sees me with my neck
Chopping block ready
He’s holding the axe
And instead of giving it a good whack
He’s waiting for something
I don’t know what
Apparently for me to make my own cut
He’s got no plans to feed this chicken
And he ain’t gonna eat me, either
I’m just a self-teaser
Thinking the thoughts
Saying the words
Being ignored, instead of heard
It ain’t his fault
It’s all my own
I went to town
Like a clown
Wondering why he’s not coming around
Silly fool me
I showed up naked
For the costume party
And thought I could see
A really great guy maybe looking at me
Wondering if he could like what he sees
And deciding it’s not worth….

Any effort at all
He’s gonna let me run into that wall
We build these
big houses
to live in
one room
We craft
lengthy speeches
words littered
and strewn
We travel
great distance
arriving back home
And tell
many secrets
the truth
plainly shown
We quarrel
and fight
with the outcome
the same
We craft
newer rules
for the oldest
of games
We live and
we die
as our
forefathers did
While changing
but nothing
entrapped
— in the grid

(Dreamsleep: August, 2024)
The writing on the wall is not graffiti.
It was not put there by rebel hands.
It’s written in an obscure language
Few will take the time to learn
And even fewer heed its warning.

The writing lists the reasons
For the coming of the Horsemen.
The steeds that carry avenging riders
Wearing mantles made of
Fire and flood, earthquake and war.

The writing on the wall is flaming
With incendiary anger at the people
Who will not read what’s written there,
Having armed themselves in black chain mail
Forged from avarice and greed.

They shed no thought for fellow man
Or for the world that holds them all.
They lust for power that money brings
And dollars are the only God they worship.
They’ll never read what’s written on the wall.

There is a whinny on the rising breeze
That carries smoke from nearby fires,
And subtle poundings on the ground
Foretell the coming of the herd with
Flaming brands that match the wall
ljm
Keep coming back to this theme.
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