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  Jan 2016 am i ee
0o
Surrounded by liars, we conspire to exhale,
Suspended from heaven by wires so frail,
I was as you knew me; half there, half alive,
Too old to know better, too young still to drive,
An hourglass bandage, alone in my room,
A bruise to explain, an excuse to consume,
Burned down to silence, ethanol in my nose,
Confidence hibernation, voice never unfroze,
Turned to paper and pen, writing unhappy ends,
Tuned out all the fighting, lost faith in my friends,
A funerary maze, and I stayed there for days,
Kept safe from the addicts, degenerate haze,
Until finally I slept, free from sirens and screams,
It felt so good to see you, if only in dreams,
And I stared as you sat, delicate as a ghost,
I know I wasn’t there when you needed me most,
Always so far from home, and still so far from free,
Maybe I became less than you meant me to be,
With fire in my shoes and a map in my head,
Spent 3 years on the run, 4 wheels and no bed,
No food in my stomach, hollow cheeks caving in,
I came too far to fail, but was too lost to win,
Still the city lights held me with frenzied embrace,
Childhood imperfections forever etched on my face,
But head down I’ll hold on, however hopeless it seems,
And someday we’ll meet again, if only in dreams.
am i ee Jan 2016
tinged in soft light
atmosphere
you sit
quietly
high above
the bare naked
trees

waxing and waning
eternally
missing you so

my puppyhead is
up with you
why did she have
to leave so suddenly?

i wish her lightness
dancing on high
racing and running
chasing you around

but this little human heart
feels her loss so acutely
her death stolen from
me by the stalker.

why must humans be
so cruel
so mean

the moon and the stars
the heavens above
looking down upon
these sad little forms
called man
and woman

they cry for the pain
the little forms inflict
isn't there enough
that nature flings

well enough
pondering and
thinking

too much thinking
and you really will be
stinking

crescent moon
high above the trees
your soft light brings
me such sweet peace

tell my puppyhead
i love her so and
always will
that i miss her so
and always will

well tell all my puppyheads
i miss them so
and i eagerly await
the little furry creatures
they are sending me
to **** with my mind
now you all are gone.

i know you are up there
rubbing your little paws
together
plotting and planning
to send me someone
or someones
to REALLY
give me one new
hell of a time.......
  Jan 2016 am i ee
Walter W Hoelbling
I release you, my beautiful and terrible
fear. I release you. You were my beloved
and hated twin, but now, I don't know you
as myself. I release you with all the
pain I would know at the death of
my children.

You are not my blood anymore.

I give you back to the soldiers
who burned down my home, beheaded my children,
***** and sodomized my brothers and sisters.
I give you back to those who stole the
food from our plates when we were starving.

I release you, fear, because you hold
these scenes in front of me and I was born
with eyes that can never close.

I release you
I release you
I release you
I release you

I am not afraid to be angry.
I am not afraid to rejoice.
I am not afraid to be black.
I am not afraid to be white.
I am not afraid to be hungry.
I am not afraid to be full.
I am not afraid to be hated.
I am not afraid to be loved.

to be loved, to be loved, fear.

Oh, you have choked me, but I gave you the leash.
You have gutted me but I gave you the knife.
You have devoured me, but I laid myself across the fire.

I take myself back, fear.
You are not my shadow any longer.
I won't hold you in my hands.
You can't live in my eyes, my ears, my voice
my belly, or in my heart my heart
my heart my heart

But come here, fear
I am alive and you are so afraid of dying.
Joy Harjo, leading contemporary Native American poetess
am i ee Jan 2016
why am i so ******* weird?

your guess is as good as mine
but let us not ponder this too too much

who the **** cares...
celebrate the differences
celebrate those that forge a different path
celebrate the diversity in Mother Nature

who wants to be like the rest of the pack?
who wants to be a sheep?
an asleep sheep?

not me i say!
if there was any i to say....

perhaps the Taoists have something
to do with it
well ... just this last bit.....

they accept all
all practices
unique and varied
sharing
exploring
experimenting...

why must the masses
cast such hate and derision
upon those who are
free spirits?

weeeellllll...
you free spirits out there...
**** em

don't ever change....
be you
you are me
and i love you
and i love me

see what fun we
have

so go on now
be really ******* weird
let's make it one big
fun contest
and drive the rest
CRAZY!
for all the suffering free spirits out there... this is one ******* whild world... embrace it ... just don't take it seriously & as a wise man once said to me "what do you care what anyone thinks of you?  ... in great gratitude to you my sweet guru and dearest love ...our time together was too too short... but you taught me well & i will always do it MY WAY
  Jan 2016 am i ee
Kevin Eli
If it were a wish or a dream, I wouldn't feel the way I do inside.
Existence and living have me terrified.
I just want to run, I just want to hide
While I chase courage around my heart which flies.

I wish I could write a poem or letter that would inspire,
But all I have are words and begging phrases.
I'm sure at this point you're tired.

Dropping words my actions no longer defend,
I guess I will remain.

Locked in a cage of my own desire.
  Jan 2016 am i ee
Dead lover
Gazing at
The ever raising,
Of everybody,
I die daily.. *

Stop caging me and my intentions,
My life is mine,
not for implementing,
your *
learnings and inventions...
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