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a cool crisp airwave
deep exhale in the moonlight
darkness overtakes
If I stop eating
will by body grow thin enough
that I could unravel?
That I could pick
at all these snagged imperfections
puckering my skin
until one comes loose
and I can pull it until I am entirely undone?
Until I tumble to the ground and blow away?

If i stop eating
will this rumbling
fill up my whole body?
Will this hunger,
that gnaws at my stomach,
grow larger than I have ever been?
Grow large enough to swallow me up?
To eat me whole
and dissolve me into nothing?

And then wander on....
a howling desolation
where a human used to be
that grows more grotesque
each moment.
Who's appetite grows continually
more appalling,
until it has consumed everything that surrounds it,
until it stands alone in a wasteland howling,
screeching,
disfiguring itself
until it dies from starvation, or auto-cannabalism
or until it is put down
like a rabid animal.
he sees one on the branch of his oak,
the other on his picket fence

eight decades he's heard names
of these creatures

one that makes sad songs (though not
a song bird...)

the other known by its color
(not red robin...)

he opens the door and walks
toward them

as if removing distance will erase years
which purloined their names

they fly off, so many eons ahead of his species
which now lives long enough to forget its past

a breed of ape which worships words, and
dreads the loss of them

the mourning dove and cardinal need no
symbols to know to flee this beast

the mere sight of him evokes the
wisdom of the ages in them

wings flap, currents abide, they glide to
another spot to roost

while the old man curses himself for
unknowing their names--cursing and cursed
it seems, are not part of what is forgotten
 May 2017 Amethyst Fyre
wren cole
I will likely get lost in the idea that
Maybe, you could love me
And we want similar things for our futures
And that's so hard to find
I will likely get lost in the thought
Of you and I living out of campers and driving from concert to concert
And we both carry ear plugs just in case the other forgets
I get so star-eyed so easily,
So dizzy,
Dizzy on the thought that maybe I don't have to be lonely,
So dizzy that I forget for a moment the things you do that leave me clawing at my skin and pulling out my hair

Maybe we will go to school and get an apartment and grow together
Maybe I will learn your boundaries and your pick me ups and your favorite foods
Maybe you will care enough to do the same

But I will remind myself
I do not love you​
I do not love you
I do not love you
first poem about this particular person :0
 May 2017 Amethyst Fyre
scully
it has been
five days
since we had that big fight,
since you told me you didn't
love me anymore it has been
five nights of me dialing your
number but not pressing call
listening to songs that i did not share
with you to send me to sleep
it has been
five days
since you told me that i was unrealistic,
a dreamer in the worst way possible,
all hung up and angry at what i cant change
and i have spent
four of those days chasing away my sobriety
once because my friends told me that
i needed you out of my head
once because i sat in the middle of the grass
and closed my eyes and took what was
handed to me because i told myself i
needed you out of my head
once because it was late and i didn't
want to keep dialing your number without
pressing call
once because i wanted to drown you in
the poetry but my hands still shook
too hard to make sense of the words i had
left it has been
five days
since you told me you didn't
love me anymore and i'm not checking up
on you, i'm not asking how you're doing no
matter how much i wonder and if you ever
asked i'm sure the words would come
spilling out of me no
matter how many days have passed
or how many times i reason with my chest
i am not sure
i am really ready to do this the rest of my life
 May 2017 Amethyst Fyre
scully
a terrible poem about how i fell in love
when i was a child and i grew with it
like moss on an abandoned building,
and i stopped being a child but
i held onto it with the winsom that only
a fresh-faced little girl knew how to
handle things with care,
how to touch gentle, the only way
you can when your heart
has never been broken.

a terrible poem about how i write about
you every day and i'm not sure if anyone
who reads it knows what you did to me or why
i cry in airports and i don't think i can write
enough terrible poetry to explain it

a terrible poem about how i leave my bed and
i see my friends and i do whatever i think my
ribcage can handle and i'm not sure if its a desperate attempt
to forget or a desperate attempt to revive
that girl who knew how to
feel things without breaking her wrists,
how to love things without suffocating them,
how to touch gentle because her heart
had never been broken.
my love for you is equal parts
messy
and lovely
like paint splattered
across a canvas
in pastel
colours
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