I gave my childhood
to pain.
I gave years to something
that did not deserve it.
I gave my happiness to it
to instead of giving
it to myself.
I’ve been buying time on a
maxed out credit card.
My body is scarred
from trying to pay down the debit.

I stick to you like a parasite
Leeching into your soul; a stronghold
My spiders web has you ensnared
When you leave I pull you back
You may find it an irritance or endearing
When I say I'll never let you go
Because aside from pretty words
You know I truly mean it
Oh no I'm not a stalker!
But if you leave me darling
*I swear I'm never going to let you go

today
is all I have

yesterday
is worlds away

tomorrow
never comes

I often wonder about your lips
more specifically your kiss

  If they are as soft as I imagine
if they are as passionate as I hope

  Yet you leave me to ponder the structure of your profile
  Only guessing how your mouth would fit against mine

   Questioning if I would like how they traced my collar bones
   Or when they brushed my ears as you whispered the fading memory of your dream

  Would they leave behind shadows of safety on my forehead
  Stains of desire upon my soul

  Leave little love notes wherever they wondered
  Small silent secret I love yous
Only known to those who could feel them

  How I wish you would explain every detail of your lips
  With just one kiss against mine

and when i see you
a monster writhes in my chest dying to get out
but it is hushed, immediately -
there's no use crying over spilt milk
there's no use crying over you