i know better.
i know not to listen to songs like this,
when i feel like this.
but i just do it anyway.
because i can't decide which
procedures, if any,
ever actually work.
reevaluating my
traditionally avoidant behavior
towards things that
trigger an emotional response,
i decided to just flip it completely
and do the opposite.
(i don't believe in much
but i do believe in experiments.)
so when i suddenly hear
that haunting viking-like
gut wrenching solitary horn
instead of diving for the
fast forward
i decide to focus on it instead.
put all my attention
into listening.
i try not to think,
just feel. let the words,
the music, the silence,
the bass,
all of it just hit me in waves.
(i think that might be the key.
because if you let it come
all at once,
and not in waves,
you would surely suffocate)
waves lead
to crying when it's
a song like that.
because you know
| it's love |
some kind
of love.
it couldn't be anything else.
there is no off-brand
or substitute. it just is
whatever the **** it is.
i mean, what possible meaningful
defense can you have
against something
you don't even understand.
like chaka khan,
please don't do this (sweet thing)
because my heart can't take it.