Amanda Francis

Amanda Francis Jan 2019

Im not really dead yet.
My chest rises and falls.
The breath escapes from my lungs, the air curls into ghosts of you.
Empty I loves as icy as your heart.

I won't be planning a funeral.
Doctors won't be pulling a sheet over my head.
There is life between my rib cage, it beats soft like a cats swishing tail.
There is life here, im apathetically not dead.

There is life here but not like with you.
Memories are haunting, like craving for water alone in the desert.
There is no LIFE here, only the stillness you left.

#unrecipricatedlove #best #friend

Amanda Francis Jan 2019

Eyes open.

Kissing with your eyes closed is a fine line.
Kissing with your eyes open is creepy.
It's seen as insincere and unnatural.

But you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
And if I ever got to kiss you I fear I'd have to sneak peaks so I know I'm not still dreaming.

These wishes and ponderings belong to a broken heart.
My cracked lips and tear reddened eyes know better.
My dear heart and hands, they're begging you to let this go.

Let him go. Release me.

#love #unrequited #unrecipricatedlove #best #friend

Amanda Francis Jan 2019

I wish I hadn't told you.

I really wish I hadn't told you.
I wish in ignorance you'd still call me 'm'lady'
So I could pretend, for a second, I was your lady.
Running away with you in my head, is better than not at all.

#unrequited #love #best #riend

Amanda Francis Jan 2019

Parasites

The heart is an over-used analogy for love.
besides, parasites are more fitting.

Like a flatworm, you're under my skin.
But theres no doctor who can get you out.
Scientists don't speak of how you got in.

A new discovery, nothing to stop you devouring me.

#unfinished #unrequited #love

Amanda Francis Dec 2018

Vent.

I dug around in your graveyard heart.
I took myself back.

You can take your vacuous words, your pigeon chest and balding hair.

And you can *******.

#bald #**** #off

Amanda Francis Dec 2018

Hungover Heartache!

Loving you was like being drunk.
Not love drunk.
A navy sailor forgetting his own name kinda drunk.

Maybe I be a navy sailor, my submarine has surfaced.
Battered ****** from a war you raged.
I can see the sun above the lapping water.

I feel your entitlement crumble away from me.
The sun was never 'yours', neither was i.
This vast ocean was trying to drown you first.

If I would have known, I'd of kicked you off this ship.
Made you walk the creaking of plank lies you made.
My body is a vessel you can not sail! Can not command, Pilot!

My sober head aches, the *** leaches away and gifts me clarity.
I've been drunk this entire time!
My heart is not broken, just hungover!

#love #hungover #heartbreak #*** #navy #pilot

Amanda Francis Dec 2018

This pain is a love

After much contemplation,
Self-preservation and intent meditation.

After many 3am meetings with the moon, many stitches holding me together after I pulled me apart.

After much soul searching and crippling doubt, Many silent poem designed put these flames out.

I befriended surrender!

I will love you forever as forever doesn't exist. I could be here tomorrow or walk into deaths mist.

Though loving you hurts its a pain that I know. It never leaves my side and like love it will grow.

Unlike you this pain loves me back, ill give myself up to it. A relationship of misery seems to be a must, so like a normal marriage for the one I can't have I'll always lust.

#unrecipricatedlove #best #friend #desperate