you are an ocean
i'm simply swimming
through waves of
"i miss you"
and
"where did you go?"
a heartbeat mutters
if it can't be heard
hopefully someone
is swimming, too
finding ways to drown
in your calming eyes

darling, i love to swim
but not if you drown me

blood stained fingernails
hollow eyed
intestine pasta
with a beating heart side
you don't need it
but i need it
a swig of ipecac
to polish off your favorite shade of wine
a kick of copper and regret

but i am eating
her stomach grew smaller
she drowned a little deeper
a nasty lie beneath gritted teeth

come back darling,
dinner is served

How do you do this? How is it that you make me feel so at home? I let my guard slip so easily when I'm with you.
What do you do that draws me in such way? Makes me want to let you in, explore the world inside my head. I want to let you wander where my darkest secrets reside.
Ill give you the key, allow you to dance with my demons. Just as long as I may do the same. I think our monsters would play well, eventually they could even be friends.
Its like you have awakened this fire deep inside me. Illuminating the corners that I've been too afraid to explore.
All of my fears seem to disappear.  Its almost like you are building this new realm, a world meant for just us

It was fun, playing with diamonds.
Nice to look at, too.
But at the end of the day
my hands are cut up and burning
from salty tears and disappointment
at the end of the day
I needed a rock.

"take a breath and let the rest come easy,"

you think i don't know how you're so **** greedy
taking all I've got because you're just so needy
and this is hard
because i love you so deeply
but all things aside
why wouldn't you leave me?

i undress my words and dissect my thoughts
we all know this building is just made from blocks
so play me like a game of jenga
pick me apart and polish my pieces
find out their stories and all of their reasons

plant me like a seed,
we could grow with the trees
we'll finally find a way
to live our lives freely

"take a breath and let the rest come easy."

it will always be you and me
with tear stains and coffee breath
and pale blue eyes
always another reason to stay
when all your love has gone away
and i miss the way we felt alive
like butterfly kisses and adrenaline highs
we tried, we tried

i miss the way we felt alive.

i want to be with you.
i want to spend my mornings staring into your eyes
i want our bodies to make sparks just like we used to
i want to listen to your laugh and see you smile
i want to fall asleep to the sound of your voice
and your soft kisses at the nape of my neck
i want to listen to your favorite songs
dance like idiots and smoke underneath a blanket
i want to grow old with you
and see you change into the man
i always knew you were
more than anything,
i want you to be happy
i want you to live
i want you here
you're my sweet sweet sunshine.