Your dying
From self inflicted wounds
Not a knife or a rope
But the things you do
They'll be the death of you
It's not my place
To tell you what to do
But I really don't
Want to watch you
Die
So please
Just
Stop it.

You need nothing but your smile
no cares, no worries, no style

As we venture out on an escapade
to ensure that our dreams never fade

Walk, talk, laugh and love
nothing else but heaven above

We roll in the clover,
one under, one over

We dare to caper away together
we don't even stop to notice the weather

When it starts to rain, we don't care
we giggle and find some cover to share

Oh, and when the night comes rolling in
that's when we know what this day has been

If but once in a while, we can take a chance
going off to explore in our lover's dance

Then we can suffer the days apart
knowing there's no end to what we let start

I'll know it's love when I am wedged between a line of cars on a busy street in the middle of a commute
listening to the radio and thinking about what food I have leftover in my fridge
or what the weather's going to be like tomorrow
this is when I'll know.
it'll happen suddenly
randomly,
an earthquake in the center of my Tuesday
somewhat of a surprise
like walking through a haunted house knowingly
the shock is inevitable but expected
or it might hit me
like a lightning bolt on a day with a vacant sky
like a bus when I cross the intersection without looking
okay
maybe not that violently
maybe it will be subtle
like the moon's descent into crescent form over time
like the evolution of freckles on skin from sun
quiet in its arrival but still apparent
it could occur to me loudly
almost like a revelation
but more like an understanding that has been building for months
growing inside this body of mine
I often bury feelings in my stomach
feeding them subconsciously until they become too full to cover with ease
love will come to me like a secret I have been hiding for weeks
pouring out like a confession I never wanted to give
I like to say that falling hard is a habit I've overcome by now
but I would be lying if I did

To say
that love makes itself known visibly
from the exact minute we meet someone
is not exact truth
but you'll know when it does
creeping out strategically into your routine,
love will settle in your bone marrow until it has formed into a disease

see I'll know it's love
when I go to search my wallet for parking meter change and I only find your name
when the empty in my bed grows too big for just my body
when every ring a cellphone hums reminds me of your laugh
when the onset of cold makes me miss the comfort of your holding
when I start to wonder what a life never knowing you would be like
when I can't remember how I ever survived on this earth without you
I'll know it then
and I'm not sure when that will be
It could be the last thing I think of as I fall sleep
or at 3:47 in the morning
I can't promise I'll be ready
or that I'll be waiting patient
love will come to me like a fear I've been afraid to say admit I have
but I will tackle it head on
welcoming with open arms
say hey, what's up, hello
I've got this
it might not be obvious
but I have been practicing my entire life
for this exact moment

Call me crazy
But I miss you.
I miss everything we had.
It makes it hard to start new.
Call me crazy,
But I still think of things
That I could have changed
To avoid this sting.
This sting I feel in my heart
From the loss of you.
Call me crazy,
But my love for you is true.
Months have passed,
So why all of a sudden?
Now the anger is gone;
I can mask the truth with nothing.
I miss how we'd make love
And go to get food right after.
Hair a mess, Sweatpants on
Car rides filled with laughter.
When we weren't fighting,
We were amazing together.
Call me crazy,
But I still believe in our forever.
There was someone before you,
But can I even count them?
Because the passion we shared
No one could even begin to fathom.
Through all our fights,
Why would I stay?
Because you were the only one
Who could take the pain away.
Call me crazy
But even with the bad,
I'd choose to rewind time
Just to experience what we had.
I'm fully aware now
That I've gone insane.
But just to be with you
I'd take that claim.

The color of depression would be neutral . A window to the outside world of myriad colors that pass unnoticed .
Awe inspiring light from Christmas trees , the stars in the midnight sky  
Ribbons and decorations on a soldiers dress uniform , the brilliant hues of the Appalachian forest
The view of Earth from Apollo in 1969 , a cellar in Nice holding red and white wines
The brilliant lights of downtown , the toy section at the local Walmart
The dark blue atmosphere at twilight , peach skin tones , violet eye shadow , porcelain mugs , silver coffee service
A cinnamon teddy bear held by a young girl , the apple of her fathers eye in a brown toy chair
The color of music pleasing to ones ear ? The glow in a proud heart and the tones of fear ?
The color of difficulty ? The color of regret ? The hue of amnesty ?
A reflection of our ultimate demise ?