it's good to know
that you give me respect
that my feelings matter?
not even a spec
i moved away
and now i'm left in the dust
it's good to know that i was just a product
of your lust
i didn't really matter
but that's what you led me to believe
i see what you did there
she's just a replacement for me
because i was convenient
because i was there
and now that i'm gone you don't care
so you move on to the next girl
who happens to be my friend
let's see how this story unfolds
but for you and i this is the end
apparently it was over as soon as i left
but you didn't have the ***** to tell me
i won't allow any time theft
you wasted my time
and i can't get that back
i'll forgive you of your crime
and handle this with grace
I wonder if the next time you see me
if you'll be able to look me in the face.

lately i need music
to lull me to sleep
beautiful melodies
lure me into dreams
silence doesn't cut it
in silence my mind screams
it seems silence is louder
than i can manage
so i put in my head phones
and music acts as a bandage.

writing essays is an art form
writing poetry is easy
no real requirements
as sloppy as you'd like
the sloppier the better
emotion shines through
no word count to limit you
no punctuation required
you are free to write what you want
not restricted by a prompt
i would rather write poetry
but it seems with essays, i am swamped.

They say home is where the heart is
I think they're right
But they don't tell you
that you don't just feel the hole it leaves
When you're alone at night
Home is not a hole that can be filled easily
And the constant little reminders really get to me
Like looking at the hills
Where mountains ought to be
I left my heart in Colorado
With my friends and family
There I had my first kiss
And I learned how to read
Learned to ride a bike
And how to climb a tree
A lifetime of memories
Eight hundred miles away
I guess you can say
I'm feeling  a bit homesick today.

I want to get lost in you
to pick a vein and follow the path
praying that it leads to your heart
but if it doesn't i'll travel the depths of you
searching for the right path
and if I end up in your stomach
maybe i'll give you butterflies
I don't want to end up in your lungs
because breath is too easily spent
do I take your breath away?
but maybe i'll find myself among your thoughts
and become the song you can't get out of your head
but I would rather dwell in your heart
and give life to every part of you
but if I find myself in your fingertips
I hope the words you write will be about me
I have never been great with directions
an adventurer willing to take the risk of getting lost
and should I ever find myself on your lips
I hope it's with a kiss

never have i had so great a time
all so lovely
each brings something different to the group
all equally odd
you brighten up my life
each a different ray of sunshine
slightly dysfunctional
laughter is a promise
there in times of need
so valuable
the definition of awesome

once upon a time i was a little girl
a girl with her head in the clouds
mind a-whirl
a dizzy-day dreamer
not in tune with reality
but constantly seeing the magic of fantasy
imagination was my escape
i lived in a world where my parents didn't fight
and  my dad wasn't always gone
my mom wasn't always mad at him for BEING gone
imagined that he never put those holes in the wall
with his hands
and then his head
he never yelled at my mom
in my head we were a happy family
like the people on tv
but what did I know
just a kid in denial
the reality is
my dad was never there
my dad was too high on ****
to care
and my mom, bless her soul
was trying to uphold
a family of six
four of us kids
and an adult who acted like one
so i forgive her for screaming
and i thank her for leaving...
him
the divorce was a blessing
we needed an escape from the yelling
one that imagination couldn't always provide
and my mom and i never really got along
we had a rocky relationship
there was always something wrong
i was always misunderstood
and because i didn't know how to communicate my pain
i used my wrists
and cut my veins
it's not that i really wanted to die
i just couldn't think of the words i wanted to write
so i struggled with myself and i used my body as my journal
i wasn't ready to face the dragons
of self-image and self-hatred
not ready to grow up early and be emotionally stripped naked
i wasn't a damsel in distress
but i wasn't ready to face a beast
but what i figured out
is that i am not alone
there are people all around me
and a God up on his throne
and God has helped me most of all
he has chased and pursued me
he reached out his hand and helped me to see
the love for me he has is greater than my struggles
i lean him in times of need
and he comforts me in troubles
all my pain was wiped away
by the ocean of his grace
and it still befuddles me today
he gave up his son for me
a sinner with a stone tied to my feet
not deserving of his love
but his grace will ALWAYS be enough.