i've spent so much time in my bedroom
that i've memorised the walls.
i know every stain
every scratch
like the back of my hand
because it's become my new every day

i guess my physical presence
was the reminder of my existence
and now that it's gone
i'm no longer present in their thoughts
and so i'm left here
alone

it's as close as i can get

but seeing you
your smile
your eyes
just you

you rip through me
and the longing i feel makes my heart swell
and sink
down to the floor
and i need you here

it's not close enough