Kung dito ba ay ako'y maniniwala

At kapag ipinakita
Ipinaramdam
Ipadala ko sa aking mga panaginip

Na, oo, mahal kita.

Babalik din kaya?

****-sabi na aking mahal
Upang sa pag-dilat ng aking mata sa umaga
Ay alam kong hindi na ako aasa

Sometimes
we must open
words like
unexpected
            gifts,
unwrapping
them with
reverence
           and honor
gently removing
their layers
ever so gingerly,
       ******* their
                   meanings
with utmost care
so as not to disturb
them as they sleep
tiptoeing through
the house barefoot
in a gentle,
        sacred dance
letting each
tiny wisp
of meaning
        caress our cells
in white,
feathery
seedlings that
shimmy in the wind
      Other times
we must let
each letter
     kiss the air
around us
      in a frantic whizzing
and imprint itself
upon our hearts
as they beat
   Personally,
     I prefer
to just sit still
upon the sand,
right where tide
licks my feet
in between that
mystical space where
           ebb meets flow
in perfect, utter silence
Then, in meditation
            stance, fingers  
                    curved up,        
I am
           ready for that
liquid receiving
letting the waves
of verse and rhyme
wash right over me
my very molecules
taking them in,
salty sweet
        in most
              delicious
                           fusion
as abundance
and the convulsion
of ecstasy
whisper
        my name

I realize
That not all men
****

That not all men
Beat

That not all men
Brutalize

That not all men
Leave

That not all men
Are destructive

But it's enough men
For me to be scared
Of all men

To quit writing would
be like going through a breakup
I could never recover from.

My poetry doesn't have to perfect.
It usually sounds incomplete,
Or sloppy
And exaggerated.
While mostly careless
Written completely miserably
It turns out substandard
My poetry usually feels like you.

However, on occasion my writing is immaculate;
Reaching heights of beauty;
No flower ever dreamed of being so elegant.
Vines twisting into words forming sentence forming rhythm,
Pristine sparkling letters dripping from each petal.
I am euphoric and growing each day
This writing is a mirror into the garden taking over your spot in my mind.

That night he reached for my hand
My fingers corroded.
Every nail of mine rusted over and began to crumble;
But, I kept holding on and fought against all the chemicals in my body working against his touch.

When he talked, I tried to keep up with simple conversation;
However, every time I went to speak
My lungs became oxidized.
I would choke on every letter that managed to escape;
But, I still said things I probably shouldn't.

And as he kissed me, I felt my mouth
Crystallize entirely.
Snowflakes frosted my lips and my teeth hardened into quartz;
But, I allowed it to happen over and over because
He always "loved how my smile shined."

When he was near, every atom in my body buzzed
Pressed against my skin and bones.
All protons, neutrons, and electrons collided against each other.
Fighting to escape
As if the cells that made me knew as explosion was near;
But, I didn't listen because I thought chemistry was just about balancing equations.