She reads
                                          And she sleeps
                                                      Way too much
                                                            ­           It's her coping defence
                                                                ­               When nothing else will suffice
                                                         ­               She needs to get away
                                                       Without actually leaving
                                             Because she's too scared
                                   And too tired
                                            To leave her bed
                                                      So she cracks open a book
                                                            ­     To escape somewhere far away
                                                            ­             And she'll sob for the characters
                                                      ­                       Whose brokenness resembles hers
                                                            ­                                   And then she'll sleep
                                                           ­                                   And have sweet dreams
                                                          ­              Of realities that are not her own
                                                       Because pretending is so much easier
                                                 Than facing reality
                             So she'll sleep and dream
          And secretly wish she won't wake up
So she can finally escape

I've begun to hide
the memory of his smile
between my bones
so I can still feel him
fill my empty spaces,
even when he's worlds away

I wish I could accept myself
I wish I could love myself
I wish I could stop caring what you think

late night poetry is never something good
it is either about a boy
something you never got over

being in love hurts yes

but hurt late at night shouldn't be so misunderstood

Hurt shouldn't be the constant nagging question why I care so much for people who destroy me

including my father's alcohol problem
and the constant nag to meet up to my mothers expectations

I shouldn't have to question myself as to why i feel so much
and try so hard
to make sure everyone is happy around me

Even if in the end they're the reason tears won't stop rushing down my dry winter cheeks
and why by body shakes in tremors from the emotions i keep pent within me

I wish I could shut them all off for good
not just for my friends, family, lovers, etc.

Being alone is the worst
at that time I would rather have no emotions at all

When I die,
I don't want anyone to cry for me
I want you to ululate with joy
And sing loudly, that song that I love
I want you to dance around my grave
To the African rhythm
I want your hips to sway to the beat of life
And remember all the joy I had in mine
I wish for you to share stories
Of my triumphs, my sorrow and my peace
To recall the time I laughed with you
And the time I clutched my ribs,
And laughed at you
And those moments I allowed myself
To cry in your arms
Most of all, remember my eyes
That lit up when I smiled
That expression that constantly gave me away
When I had something to say
Remember that skin to skin embrace we had
As we sat watching the fire die
And my stumbled walk when I said goodbye
When I die,
I don't want anyone to cry for me
I want you to weep for me.