Isn't it funny
how the whole world is ran
on reputations.
People bend themselves
to match the expectations of others.
They do not allow themselves to do things
for the sake of their reputations.
People don't let themselves
be themselves
Everyone tries to act
like what they see.
Its too bad most people cannot see
the personalities of the goodhearted people.
Life covered in a thousand scars.
Each time we are seen as different,
the scar reopens.
The cycle repeats,
and what is hurt
can never be fixed.
Reputations
**** society.
People strive to be
smartest
prettiest
kindest
hardest worker
biggest ****
and everything in between,
and those who do not "fit"the category
are discarded into the land of the lost.
Reputations ****.
Why can't people just accept others
*for who they really are

Today
is my birthday
Today has finally come.
15, folks.
14 no more.
Today is the day I can enjoy myself,
and look back at another painful yet good year.
Today
is my birthday.
The countdown is over.
This day has just begun,
THIS IS GONNA BE A HELL OF A TIME
lets go
4-19-16

I've been hit again.
My mind
suddenly begins to think
how do I get away
I am cornered.
not yet I tell myself.
After the beating finishes,
(Only because they are tired now)
I walk painfully to my room.
My ***
feels like it's been shot.
My body
feels like it has been pulled apart twice.  
I sit down,
lift my mattress,
the blade lies here.
I look at it, craving its sharp clarity.
My wrists are the matching fit.
Cut cut
I think.
No one will miss me anyhow
I think.
But then
I imagine people's faces,
when they hear the news.
When they hear
how despicable the idea was
that I killed myself.
I don't lift my blade.
I let it rest.
"Till next time, friend"
I whisper to it.
I cannot speak,
my mouth has been punched in so many times,
It is as if the great pyramid rests on my lips.
My skin is raw,
carpet burn everywhere.
I tried to get out.
I really did
Like the blade,
I want to be sharp,
yet feel so dull.
Though I have not,
my heart has already killed itself.
Time
is not of the essence
anymore
No
Never again.
I will not
let them take this life.
That's my job
And quite frankly,
Im not ready just yet
So I will keep hanging on.
Just a little at a time.
I will let myself fall,
that way I can learn how
to pick myself up
all by myself.
Yes,
I do not need the blade.
I am Strong.
Strong
Strong
Strong.
*hope

You know whats ****** up?
A man cant hug a man
without getting teased and hated upon.
Apparently, it became gay for men to hug
some time ago.
The word "******" became tossed around like a ****** football.
See, im not gay.
No my dear reader, far from it.
But if my friend wants to hug,
then you can bet your *** ima return that hug.
and theres nothing you can do to stop me.
If he looks good, i'ma tell 'em.
If he ***** up, i'ma tell 'em.
accept it.
move on,
and have a nice...*******...day