1.  It always happens completely unexpectedly.

It could be a year from now, perhaps another 5 years, maybe tomorrow. It could be the person you've been liking for the longest time, it could be your bestfriend that you didn't think you'd fall for, it could be the guy you met for three days during your sister's graduation day. Nothing's ever really certain. You just don't know when it'll happen. And with whom.


2.  It's good to know what you want. But never set expectations.

I've come to realise that what's most important is that you share the same or similar end-goals with the person. Having different outlooks on life isn't necessarily a bad thing, as long as the things you wish to achieve in life are, or should at least be aligned to one another - whether it's family, career or personal life goals. It's also good to know what you want in a person in terms of his/her core values. BUT, having a list of what your dream person should physically and mentally turn out to be? Nope, throw that out.  


3.  Self-love before anything else.

It's about acknowledging your flaws. Knowing and understanding your little quirks. Enjoying time by yourself and taking pleasure in your own presence. Looking in the mirror and feeling beautiful/badass. Ultimately, it's about accepting yourself exactly the way you are. Loving yourself first and foremost, above all else. And eventually having enough confidence to know that however and whoever you are, the other person will come to love every single little detail about you.

.....but what if they don't?

Simple. Get outta there. You don't deserve it.
You've got too much self-respect for that.


4.  Take all the time you need.

In an era of technological advancements and glorified instant gratification, it's easy to fall into the abyss of wanting more and more and wanting it NOW. Everywhere you look, everyone around you seems to be falling in love and having the time of their lives. Pfft, it isn't that hard is it? People find their soulmates all the time. It's just a mere click of an app. Swipe right, there you have it.

Now... here comes the hard-hitting truth. Falling in love is a literal piece of cake. Staying in love, now that's the hardest part. This is where patience and taking the time to know a person is crucial. It's very important to know the person as a friend first before anything else. Also, the friendship should make you feel comfortable enough to know that no matter how much time you take and need, it only proves that it'll further flourish into something even more meaningful as time progresses.

It's like cheese. It's only better with time.


5.  It should set you free.

I used to think love is somewhat this concoction of paradoxes -  it should be happiness and despair, goodness and pain, all jumbled up into one. You're supposed to love someone so much till it hurts. You're supposed to miss him till your head spins and your heart literally aches. It's supposed to make you feel like the worst.... but completely in love.

But as time passes and age matures me, I start to realise that it should be in fact, the complete opposite. Well, yeah, maybe it should make you feel like all those generic lovey-dovey things like in rom-coms. It should make you happy and grin like an idiot. It's gonna turn you into a big ball of cheesy fluff sometimes.

But what it should really feel is easy and breezy, like a pretty summer's day. No one has to feel like you're giving too much and receiving too little when there's mutual understanding and love for each other. It shouldn't feel burdensome when both of you respect your boundaries and spaces. There should too, be times spent apart. You are, after all, two completely different individuals merged together. Your union should make you strong but light on the feet; attached but not chained to one another. You are each the savoury and the sweetness of a PB&J sandwich; both constituting different parts of a whole.

how tragic!

the ones we want to love,
will never know the intense fire burning inside us,
for them,

and the ones we get to love,
are burning for someone else.

A moment with you,
my dear,
is enough.
One sip of you fills my soul
but, oh, how I wish
I could drink the whole cup.

Dalam retrospeksi
minda naif kecilku pernah berimaginasi
memikirkan dunia luar sana yang bagaikan fantasi
hati merontakan suatu kebebasan yang diimpi
namun kini ku sedari, itu semua hanyalah persepsi
seorang gadis kecil yang dahulunya bercita-cita tinggi
masa sudah tiba untuk kembali ke realiti.

Selamat datang ke Kota Korupsi
di mana manusia-manusia bertopengkan syaitan
kehausan kuasa, kerakusan harta duniawi
dipuja, dipuji dan disanjung tinggi
pil penawar pula makanan ruji untuk depresi
tiada lagi tempat mengadu, tempat meluahkan hati
hanya tinggal kata-kata yang kehilangan erti
terpapar di kotak skrin empat segi.

Bangsaku semakin alpa, agamaku jauh sekali
soal halal haram tidak dipertikaikan lagi
hanya topik sembang santai di kedai kopi
bicara hari nanti ditolak dahulu ke tepi.

Dunia yang dahulu semakin pudar
hanya serpihan di hujung sudut memori
masa berlalu terlalu pantas, terlepas dari jari-jemari
sekarang sudahpun tiba generasi baru menapakkan kaki
namun, lihatlah sejarah mengulangi dirinya sekali lagi
selagi nafas belum terhenti
selagi kita belum pergi.

What is it like, when the flowers start to bloom?
But the skies seem dark, filled with gloom

Or when the peaches are gold and starting to ripen,
But the pain inside- you could feel it tighten

And when you thought the stars above had finally lit up,
But your heart remained the same like an empty cup