Don't tease me with the pursuit of death. If you're going to destroy, please just go on and do it.

I catch myself staring at photos of you in hopes of never forgetting you, lord knows my mind skips out on a lot of things. But if I ever forget you, take back your shirts, hats, give me back my scarves, my lips, heart, soul, and mind. I'll never remember a thing you've ever said to me. I'd want your voice out of my head. It'd be the second thing that'd go.

subtle reminders are nature's best ejection of pain, i swear i saw your shadow overcast mine every time i walked. cowering rationalizations seem to weep as though it's dying sense of control bends folding branches down against the base of my willow. i've seen you with my eyes wide open and with my eyes closed and each time I skip stones against the walls of my memory hoping to eject which ever flick is humming on repeat.

I've been driving around for hours and I'm leaving this voicemail to tell you that ever since you left, my head hasn't been the only thing out of whack. I have the heat on high with your favorite hoodie around me, but I can't stop shivering. I've never seen so much rain in January and I can't help but think the sky is mourning my loss too. I'm always nodding off if I'm not in bed, but whenever I'm in bed I can never shut my eyes. I called to make sure you could fall asleep knowing how adored you are. I called to make sure your dinner was more than just ramen. I called to make sure you locked the doors and finished your homework. I called to tell you that guy you don't like tried to contact me, but I blocked him, again. I called to see if you've been hugged today. I called to tell you I went to my favorite spot to watch the sunset, but I left just before it set because I couldn't stand to watch something so beautiful, so familiar, end like we did. Tell me, is it easier to sleep without me beside you, oblivious to how you really feel? Today on my way home I realized you weren't myhome anymore and I had to turn around. I wanted to tell you that my keys are in my car and my bags are still packed, just in case you ask me to come home. I called to make sure you're still smiling even though it's not because of me. I'm leaving this voicemail in hopes that you realize you're the reason I ever stopped wanting to die

Tap,
       tap,
             tap
Tapping on the wall around your heart
          Trying to find a way in
You've built it tall and strong
And plastered
       it with
          your suffering
     To remember why it's there

Yet here I am,
        not knowing where to start
So I tap,
          tap,
             tap
Hoping one day you'll hear me
Praying one day you'll open your heart
                     I want in
         I want to take your hurt
                 and make it mine
To share your pain
And find a way to make you see
This life your living
The infliction
         you've put
              upon yourself
You need not bare it alone

           Tell me your stories,
       Let me feel
              what you feel
You think you need to be a stone
But I want to know you to your core

So I'll tap,
              tap,
                  tap
Until I can see that diamond underneath
Not to break you
            or damage you
       Just to release you
               So you can finally
                    

                          breathe

Long curly hair, afloat in the breeze
short,swift glances
and a deep longing to meet yours;--
-No!
I refuse to fall for you again.
Red full lips, parted;ready to speak,
dry parched throat, denies such action-
-I said, 'No' .
Faster and faster races a shattered heart,
shards clawing on the inside; but you advance nonetheless.
and then... a deafning silence.
come hear the sound of my breaking heart,
come feel the cold raging inside,
come taste the sorrow I now hate.
Is it possible you heard?
That you felt ?
That you tasted?
Is it possible that--
Gentle hands caress me,
And a wamth engulfs what little frame i have;
silencing the screaming winds.
Deep brown eyes wander accross my still face,
finding what exactly; I'll never know.

I should have listened to my demons
Whispering, taunting me that you spoke lies
But what beautiful lies they were
They oozed so effortlessly from such beautiful lips
Lips I've touched,
Lips I've tasted,
Lips I've worshiped,
Lips that worshiped her.
I may have had your words but she had your heart.
But she's forever gone
And now so am I