Why can’t you look at me

That is all I ask
Not to fix
Not to save

After all my crying
And all my trying

All I ask
Is please look

Are you even listening
When I say
I have tried absolutely everything

Hold me in your heart
Please don’t turn around

Please
Just look

Let no empty promises
Platitude, and platitudes
Like raindrops fall
Into empty hollow

As we all know
This uncertain world

Listen
Please
Listen

When I say
I am broken


Because all you do
Is gaslight
And pretend
That there’s

No problem

Please don’t tell me
It can be fixed
When you haven’t
Got
A clue

When I describe
A problem
Next time
Please stick with me
And hold on

Carry me in a gaze

Because it’s just my
Little way of saying

I just need

Someone’s

Loving

Be careful who you trust
Nothing more deadly
Than good intentions
Dipped in blindness
Nothing more dangerous than
Care without wisdom

The evil intent hides within the platitudes of the unaware
It hides like lions
Secretly in long grass
The archetypal wolf
In sheep’s clothing

They prey on your weakness
Their favourite victims
Are the young
The silent assassin
Predators creeping through the night
They Stealthily stalk your soul

The thief slowly strangling you whole
They seek to carve your soul
With knives like butchers
Hidden in friendly gestures

With the soft threads
Of a spider’s lair
They build a sticky prison
Laced with poetic thorn

The worst of all
They ask
Abandoned self
And we will love you more

As weak men
Love to shepherd
The strong
To quench their unconscious jealous

As some people wish to steer your choices
Because you trigger their own
As sme people wish to crush your ambition
Because they buried their own
A conqueror's hidden fear

But let your inner guide shine
Let the Lord God guide us home
To a promised land
Where there's no
Guilt, fear, or shame

As I push back
Not to hate
But to love
Love for self
As my soul whispers
With a silent growl
NO

A deadly stare
That can see into night
I pierce falsehood with soft glare
Not to fright
But to say I am here

Like a leopards spots
The more they rub
The more I shine
As I stand in truth
My real
Authentic self

Dear Mother Kali
Thank you
For blessing me
With your loving child
For however long
And however short

And let me love her
How she needs
Not how I want

Be the guileless guide
The sail that meets her sea
For I am a missing piece
But to a different puzzle

Let me understand
I do not need to be
Congruent or aligned
There's a beauty in
The authentic blind

And though I do not fit
Let me meet life
Where it touches
And love from where I stand

As I meet life
Where it needs me
Not by ego design

For I am the Cathedral
That never got quite finished
Like they say
A work in progress

But just because there's
Gaps in the roof
It does not mean
On this sunny day
My Heart cant sing.

Why after calling me handsome
And declaring me so much fun

Is the question I have to ask

Why did she not return?

As I wrestle with reality
Where did I go wrong?

I gave her space , thoughtfulness
I showed her warmth, respect and care
I demonstrated humor lightness and fun
I brought interest, intelligence - even independence

I held a place both safe and free
That I could hold but did not grasp
That could revere but did not cling
A place where something special
Could be grown.

So again I have to ask
Where did I go wrong?

But after a dark and stormy night
I wake up light and see

Yes
The truth is
I was all of those things
And I poured them richly
abundantly and joyfully

The truth is

I Shone

TOO BRIGHT

What happens to hidden blessings
Golden gestures sprinkled into letters
Boldly written but never read

Treasure troves locked away
Hidden out of sight, far away
A life time of unrequited night
Destitute with an open heart

Do they tumble
Do they fall
Vanish or disappear

Are they cherished by angels
Trampled by Shiva
Into eternal fire
Stolen by demons
Devoured by the devil

Is part of the writer forever lost
Like part of the receiver that never woke
Do souls forever wander
Looking for their lost parts

Like words that linger
But never touch
Does somewhere
A great Star
Turn itself off

Does the universe scream in silence
For what should of been
But never was

Why is it only when we cry
When we feel in despair
That our life is broken
Beyond repair
That we cannot be fixed

That with open heart
We finally turn to God
Hands full of broken parts
That we can finally say
I am so sorry, dear God

Can you please help me

High above
                                   With a silent watch

                                         I feel the quivers
                                                   of
                                        twists and turns

                                          My unsettled
                                           body parts

                                    I try to sing a gentle song
                                         to reach far below

                                     But my voice so silent
                                        my arms so short
                                    
                                          I cannot reach
                                    the anguish beneath

                                            My only desire
                                                To steady  
                                         such uncertain steps
                  
                                       That tremble bellow
                                             would yell
                                           if I only could
                                            
              ­                          Be soft, be silent
                                          
                     ­                     And like a bird

                                          Stay connected
                                           But also Free

                                     And just let that Future go