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Abigail Nov 2014
For me it's like suddenly nothing matters any more and trying to do anything becomes impossible.
It makes me feel numb sometimes so I cut to feel, or its makes me so anxious and I cut to calm myself.

Other times it makes the stupidest things seem so incredibly important.
Makes me unable to cope and worry about everything, makes me paranoid that everyone hates me.

It makes me consider suicide, makes me want to disappear and never be seen again.
It makes me want to rip my hair out and peel back my skin.
It makes me want to be someone else anyone else.

Then it goes away for a little while and I feel calm again, I feel like I can cope and I feel like suddenly I'll be okay, everything will be fine.
Then like a strong cloud it comes back and ruins everything.
I wanted to write something personal about what my depression feels like.
Abigail Oct 2014
Once upon a time
When I was a little child
Life was butterflies and sunshine
The monsters didn’t bother me
Then I turned 15
The butterflies turned to dust and the sunshine became darkness
Abigail Oct 2014
See that girl there
The overweight one
The one with scars on her legs
Do you know what caused them?
You did
You called her fat, worthless, stupid
So she carved it into her skin
The word fat on her ankle
Worthless on her hip
And stupid on her arm
She cuts daily to let the demons out
Hurts herself so she doesn’t hurt others
She stops talking
Stops eating
Stops breathing
Stops living
Thinks the worlds better off that way
Abigail Oct 2014
I’ve got so much to tell the world
Like Lucy it’s not your fault I cut
Or Lauren of course I ate today
I’m ****** up I’ve accepted it
No use crying over me
Can’t you see?
I’d be happier up in the sky
Away from the pain and fears
Drifting through the clouds
Floating away from all the pain
Can’t you see I cut deeper after a fight
It’s all my fault
I’m worthless
I should die
But I won’t
Would anyone even notice?
If I faded away
Stopped breathing
Would they?
So I don't know what to call this poem, anybody want to suggest a title?
Abigail Oct 2014
Do you know what rain is?
Rain is heaven crying
For all the pain in the world
All the people who hurt themselves and others
All the children who die
All the fear
And all the ill gotten gain.
People don’t care
They keep hurting others
They keep killing and thieving
They keep hurting with the knife or gun
Screaming at other
Words hurt more than the knife sometimes
Abigail Oct 2014
Someone once told me that I was too young to understand, well I'm older now and I still don't get it
Some people can sail through life without a care in the world
Me, well I just try to make it through the night
Try to convince myself that tomorrow will be a better day.
Abigail Oct 2014
Thoughts race through her head
Tears drip down her checks
Screams rip from her mouth
The blade slices again
Cutting deeper than the last
The pain will fade but the scars wont
Anger fades but the hurt doesn’t
Words scar
Caving them into her skin
Her failure remains
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