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I'm sorry* for not being perfect
I was only being me
I guess it was not enough
To make you stay forever

I'm sorry for not telling you earlier
I just don't want you to worry
I guess it bothered you too much
To make you leave without a trace

I'm sorry for being such a coward
I was just too scared to hurt you
I guess I did anyway
By saying such beautiful lies

I'm sorry for being selfish
I just don't want you to get involved
I guess that upset you a lot
By blowing such harsh words to me

I'm sorry for not being there
I just don't want to see your crying face
I guess I was not meant to see it anyway
Because it would only hurt you more

I'm sorry for not showing how much I cared
I just love you in a way even I can't understand
I guess that love blinded me
That it had to lead us into this painful state

I'm sorry, I'm not perfect
But please know that I love you so much
It won't ever change
When need to be with myself
sets in a lonely mood
mind seeks a space to delve
sink in solitude

I slip to that unused room
where a window to the north
paints a sky of white lily bloom
for dreams to merrily birth!

I fly above the town house tops
up the tallest palm
reach the clouds to touch raindrops
drown in deep calm

whiles pass mind travels eon
far beyond the earth
till lands back to anchor on
the window to the north!
 Dec 2014 Abigail
Michael Ryan
War torn world
A battlefield that tears us from the soul
While we wander the wasteland we were only unlucky people
Consciously stepping through the uneven lands
Some new world never known to exist before
Crept ever so slowly wondering when it will come
The war was never one that you thought it would be
Possibly it was first thought that you would win
Simply seeking the way out of all the misery
Clinging onto the hope that it would be like you thought
Sadly the battle never turns
Never do the tides turn from the murky reds
Forever the land will bleed
Being stained with the wounds of hate and disgust
Those small moments of where the war does not shine through
Are the false moments of hope that victory may come near
Blindly ignoring the booms and blast echoing behind all the smoke
We both solemnly prayed for it all to end
Then one day it did
No one won
Only Defeat
Just some random shortish poem about relationships and the lies that we tell ourselves in an attempt to make them seem like they will get better.
Sometimes I just want to go to a garden
And take all the flowers I can clutch in my hands
The sweet-smelling, luminous, simple and poisonous (when ingested)
Then scurry away before the gardener knows
Though I’ve taken bits and pieces of grueling work and pride—
To her or him—it’s far more than that, it’s happiness—
And a little bit borrowed from a friendly, flowery neighbor
Is hardly worth complaining about, maybe even worth a smile
And I press the gentle, fragrant ones
In the hard covers of my favorite books
They’ll last forever, I’m certain
And *** the radiantly eye-catching ones
In the places so obvious—
A mantle, pedestal—always in the corner of my eye
I’ll probably put the poisonous
Far away from any man
Hidden in the depths
Still covered yet, concealed to the end—
But the simple things in life
Are what I hold so fast to me
I squeeze the stems and sniff the petals
And know now to truly appreciate them
 Oct 2014 Abigail
Lucy Marie
You don't believe me when I say you're the most handsome man I've ever laid eyes on,
And I don't believe you when you tell me I'm the most beautiful girl you'll ever love.

My hair is black and blue
Like a bruise
Or my heart.
And my ex's name tastes like the ether she's been sniffing to get my name out of the creases of her favorite sweater.

The cigarettes I smoke,
They smell like the toast I will inevitably burn in a couple of years while I'm making your breakfast before work.
And some days I look at photos of the ocean
Just to see if I can find the same blue that's in your eyes.

And I know it may not count for much, but when her and I used to joke that blue was the color of love, she always thought of her own eyes while my head was flooded with longing for yours.

I was coming down from a two week binge the day you found me again.
I spent a week thinking I was just imagining things. I spent the following week trying to tell myself that you'd never be mine again.

Two years ago, you left me in a puddle of fear and apathy
With the bitterness of every single "I love you" still in my mouth
And when I spit, it was like venom.
I always told myself that I'd never be in love again.
For two years and three days, I was right.
But here I am, two years and four months later, head-over-heels in love with the boy who made my heart sing with his voice and my soul drown in his ocean blue eyes.
I knew a man once.
Tall, dark and joyful, he always knew how to make me smile.
I broke his heart and realized I'd broken mine as well
But it was way to late,
Way to late.

I knew a man once.
He wasn't anything I was looking for.
He was nothing I knew, nothing I thought I'd like,
And yet here I am, writing a poem about him because my heart hurts alone.
I could spend hours alone with him, just the sound of our voices in the air,
Just the sweet sound of our heartbeats beating together in harmony.
We were oh so different, yet we got one another,
And I let him get away.
I was afraid of finding the One after eighteen years on this planet, so I pushed him away.
He kept coming back because he knew what was best for us, and I pushed him away.
One day he decided he'd had enough, of me, my attitude, my rejection.
He cut it all out. He deleted me out of his phone and out of his life,
And I got to watch each day as life passed by without the voice I craved to hear.
I missed everything about him.
I missed his voice, his warmth, the way he held me close, the way he made me laugh, the way everything about us felt right.
He made me a better person, a real one.
I got to discover who I really was thanks to him. I liked who I was with him, and yet I pushed him away, and now he's far to gone, and it's far too late,
Far too late.

I knew a man once.
He poured his heart out to me,
He told me how he felt about me,
And I couldn't get my head right,
So I pushed him away, and now it's way too late,
Way too late.

I know a man now.
He told me I taught him a lesson,
And I wish I could prove him wrong.
Not every girl runs away from happiness, not every girl will make the same mistake I did.
He won't talk to me, won't acknowledge my existence, because I let him out of my life, and no it's too late,
It's still way too late.
 Sep 2014 Abigail
Pilot
The yelling, screaming,
The guilt trip.
I just wanted help.

The anger, rage,
The shaming,
I just wanted help.

I’m just a little lost,
A little bit confused.
I just wanted help.

But I was met with sadness,
With passive aggressive when
I just wanted help.
 Sep 2014 Abigail
Harley Hucof
In the land of a child
The angels hide
Hide from the evil
Hide from the demons.

In the land of a child
The beauty arise
No fear No labels
No sin No lies.

In the land of a child
The garden of lullabies
Mesmerized eyes
The mystical heart
The strangest art.

In the land of evil
The innocence's lost
Caged by temptations
Devoted for lust.

In the land of evil
Looking for fame
Wanting the gain
Searching for love
The problems won't be solved.

In the land of evil
Addicted to gold
Stuck on the dope
Smoke
           Chase
                    Shoot
                             Sniff
Bow to your Lord.

In the land of a Child and Evil i was trapped in between.

An innocent soul gone with the wind.

Falling with the rain
But the memories remain...


Words Of Harfouchism.
Weird but hope you'll love it.
 Sep 2014 Abigail
just a girl
roses are red
violets are blue
sugar is sweet
and so are you

but the roses have wilted
and the violets are dead
the sugarbowl is empty
and my wrists are stained
RED

**(c.m.h)
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