and I promised myself that I'd stop writing about you,
because you no longer deserved it.
---
but here I am, a month later, and I still compare
every new person I meet to you;
I still find pieces of you in song lyrics;
I still check my messages hoping that maybe you've changed
(either your mind, or your personality, or both).
here I am, a month later, still writing about you, love.
and I wish I wasn't.
I wish your name didn't make my cheeks turn slightly red;
I wish seeing pictures of you smiling with other people,
better people, didn't make my heart sink a little;
I wish I could convince myself that you're not worth it anymore.
---
we'll see how I'm doing next month.

past  midnight
my body and soul at fight

1am
I realize how sick I am

at 2
I fantasize about sexing you

at 3
I imagine things you can do to me

at 4
I'm still not sleep
still not bored

at five
I close my eyes

6am til 11
wet dreams appear
too explicit for Heaven

at 12 I'm up and about
licking my lips
hoping this day I can taste your mouth.

He wears a Beanie
Aviator Sunglasses
Stumble over wheels
Look
Eye contact
I smile
You blow a kiss
I want to wink
I don't
I smile
I like you
I'll never see you again
Bicycle boy.

the nothing moment
where of a once beautiful
woman in a dark room
with her husband only
sits painfully

and says, "I forgot to take my medication today."

My love, if you die and I don't--,
let's not give grief an even greater field.
No expanse is greater than where we live.

Dust in the wheat, sand in the deserts,
time, wandering water, the vague wind
swept us like sailing seeds.
We might not have found one another in time.

This meadow where we find ourselves,
O little infinity! we give it back.
But Love, this love has not ended:

just as it never had a birth, it has
no death: it is like a long river,
only changing lands, and changing lips.

Some feel safe within a name-
gipsy, sea traveller
And all that is fine

And some must be acknowledged
without going anywhere

Some are time travellers
long ago they knew

What everyone runs from
is pointless

You will find it
eventually

It's been a week without you here
and honestly it's killing me, my dear.

If I Hold Your Hand, I'm Holding On For Dear Life.