17 years now and
the sidewalk hasn’t
changed much,
But that is the opposite
with you

Whiskey lips and a
cloudy sky in your lungs,
the high is still a wild
and untamed beast

Hours of dreaming
are of few most nights,
to much work to be
done,
The sentences in your
head, over and over they
will sing

The chase now is not
merely just a game
but a way in which you live,
Find her in the night
sing to her the sonnets
written on the pavement

The buildings will tower
over you as they have
in the past years,
look up at them in awe
and bask in the glory
of human intuition

A pen will always be your
solace,
never forget that about
yourself

Out of body, out of touch
If I feel at all, then I feel too much
This poem is as shallow as my grave

But I'm still digging

If I want a God then I'll misbehave
If I want to be sad then I'll entertain
Just because I'm found
doesn't mean I'm around
Just because I'm growing up
Doesn't mean I can't be down

I'm sorry, mom and dad,
but if I want to be happy then I'll have to be sad
I'll write until my fingers bleed
Until my words are the blood that the readers need

I'm here stuck
in these four walls,
and in my hands
I'm holding what could possibly
be my end,
I'm holding a gun.
Only seeing everyone movin' on,
graduating,
and becoming someone in life.
Wanting my life like theirs
so my life could finally be begun.
I wish my life was like that:
graduating on time
and getting a well-paid job.
You see,
all of these fantasies
are poppin'
in my head while
I'm sittin' down here smoking ***.
Wishin' my life was different,
or at least could have
a father figure
to teach me how to live.
I want to be somebody in this life
and to achieve my goals,
and I am going to achieve them..
Yep, that's what I try
to tell myself,
to still believe.
Killin' myself has popped
into my head several times
because I feel like
I'm going nowhere,
like if I was walkin' blind.
God, I beg you
to please give me hope.
Clear my mind and simply
destroy all these evil thoughts
and give me the ability
to cope.
To cope with these problems,
bless me with a blessing
so I can finally solve 'em.
Please, Lord,
help me to become a better person
and to become productive.
I know that I've committed
a million sins,
and that I've done damages
in the past,
that I've been around
the wrong crowd,
and all drugs known to man
that has a reputation
of being so seductive.
I'm not sayin'
that I'm perfect, Lord, no!
But please,
I'm just another servant
of Yours.
Only You that I can trust
to take me from
all the negative
to the positive.
I have faith in You.
You're the only God
that loves us all,
the only one who is,
and will always be there
for us.
Yes, that's You-
The One who is forever true.
So Lord, I'm just a young man
tryin' to live his life,
and You,
the most powerful Being.
I'm just one of your
greatest creations-
a human being.
So please listen to my prayers
'cause You're the only One
who truly listens and cares.

From Heaven,
please bring down
Your Heavenly stairs
and take me
to the the promised land
because
right now I'm just
broken and impaired..

You two look great together.
Some may even say
a match made in heaven.
He's my best friend,
almost like my brother,
and you . . .
You were my everything-

This relationship was my
Armageddon.

The two most important
people in my life
committed
the most horrendous
betrayal
known to a man's heart.

I was fooled, I was played.

Both of you grabbed my heart
and just destroyed it;
y'all tore it apart.

My soul,
my smile,
my everything
was just an illusion.

I loved this woman,
heart and soul.

And he,
who I thought was my brother,
knew exactly how I felt
for this woman.
He knew I wanted to give her
my name.

But they both schemed
a plan together.

Traitors.

And now I'm here,
drunken with anger and hate.
Asking myself,
"What did I do wrong
to receive this fate?"