I realized sometimes isn't enough to involve someone else's heart...

I want to feel.
I want to feel you,
your arms around me,
my arms around you,
us holding each other.

But I don't know you,
or who my "you" is.
I'm just feeling
a tad sentimental
for things I've never had.

But dancing under
the brilliant stars,
to our favorite songs.
This is what I would
fall in love for.

Simple things,
and simple words,
I'm easy to inspire,
with loving words
and loving hugs.

I feel nostalgic,
for things I
haven't experienced.
But that's all I have,
feelings and love for "you".

I woke up to a thought
I found that I never loved you
I loved the way you loved me
I wish
I wish I could love you the same way you looked at me
How you saw me
As question and answer
I wish that affection and sweet words could be enough
That I didn't crave more
You may never understand why I walked away
But what I know is
I woke up to a thought
Tangled in bed sheets
Restless
Feeling that you and I weren't meant to be in love
That after a time your affections started to feel like bars to a cage
That made me forget who I wanted to be
That loving you meant sacrificing parts of myself I had just found
I warned you that I was unpredictable
That my wants and needs change by the day
By the hour
And for a minute you were the exception
And the next you weren't
And for that I am sorry
I was your answer
**But you were always a question

You and I,
We got high
together at the seven eleven at seventeen,
and listened to Fall Out Boy as he sang ironic one liners.
And we'd argue about what it would mean; too high to believe
the other was right, and then laughed at passing cars.

We stumbled to the graveyard and told ghost stories with wine,
and whiled away the hours dreaming of knights and dragons
in crystal towers far away across fable and time. I'd lift my proverbial flagon,
and you'd ****** it away, and whisper
"What am I
to you?" So sudden, and I was too high to answer it right at the time.
I stumbled. I mumbled. My words were all jumbled, and all that came out was:
"Thou art mine friend." Kind of lame, that word at the end. But I ended the sentence
With a laugh. I didn't know you were serious...
But...
I should have cut a word from the statement. Because if I was being serious too,
I'd have whispered back "Thou art mine."

In my mind, I relive the moment over again and again,
before you left and stumbled off into the dark,
I say "You are my princess, I'm your knight."
I say "When it's all ****** up, you make it all right."
I say all the right things and it culminates in a kiss by starlight,
but I mumbled,
words jumbled,
And you took the bottle of wine with you as you stumbled
alone into the dark till it took you away from my sight.

That night I sat alone and soliloquised what I didn't say right.