Crying freely shouldn't be a luxury item I can't afford

Your an anomaly
A walking contradiction
Your words are Venus and your actions are Mars
You say you wanna be my "*****" but then get back with you ex *****
***** what the ****?

You ignore my texts all day but I don't sweat it, but then you go and say" we need to spend some time together I really really miss you I might tear up when I see you"
***** what the ****?

You say we never link, but then when I plan some you say " I might "
***** what the ****?

I'm tryna see who you got fooled me or the  other *****
She thinks shes getting a promise ring, but
You say "she's just something to do when there's nothing to do" only promises you got are broken one, lies.
***** what the ****?

Update: No longer bestfriends just complicated as ****

So there's this guy

I find peace in his vibes
I find true love for him even through my disguise

My several failed attempts to hid my love for him
Show me just how much I truly love him

He makes me feel like the sky's the limit
when I get down and limit myself to my surroundings

He has taken over my mind
24/7 my Thoughts and dreams are now filled with my 75 and 8

If only he could see my thought
If only he could read my mind
My 75 and 8 why are you so blind

We say were just "bestfriends"
He is my bestfriend
Maybe one day we can be more than "bestfriends"
but I do not know my fate
so I'll just sit and wait on my blind 75 and 8

He was flashy,
And I couldn’t stand the light

He was do everything
for everyone to see

He was tell me you love me,
before you show me

Nothing was private
Our relationship was a show

For everyone to see
For everyone to know

Not everyone needs to see,
all that matters is if everything
is right between you and me

You hang your head low,
 because you feel inferior
So your crown has fallen,
but little do you know that you are truly superior
You have become discouraged,
so you pray to the gods to return all your might and courage 

So you cover the scratches
Wipe away all the fallen tears from your lashes
And polish the jewels of your fallen crown
You decide to no longer look down 

Only true queens know that sorrow won't last long
Pick up your fallen crown
and return to your rightful place upon your thrown

I lay beneath the surface of artificial shell
Living day to day life going through the motions 

Waiting for you  to see  me
Waiting for you  to hear me
Waiting for you  to find  me

You think you know what I am
But have yet to truly discover me

What am I to be found you may ask

I am you