it’s ok to love yourself
    it’s ok to let go of the hate
         -what i wish she had known

I've failed but this time I'll fail better

And I looked myself in the eyes
And found I had run off again
      -Tell me if you see her

There once was a priest
who went around taking up the winter collections
he had all the people remove their hearts
and he placed them in his basket

At the altar the priest gave them his holy water to soak up
and he kept them there till spring

The end of mass came with church bell’s ring
heartless, we all got up to leave
careful with our new troubles in being
with hearts gone all things go unfeeling
and all you can do is look out the window
and wait for spring

My heart sings of your's.
The heart so fickle as to chose me **** Kindness, she is so nice!
The blue and red jewels of her rings smoke
In the windows, the mirrors
Are filling with smiles.

What is so real as the cry of a child?
A rabbit's cry may be wilder
But it has no soul.
Sugar can cure everything, so Kindness says.
Sugar is a necessary intake,

Its crystals a little poultice.
O kindness, kindness
Sweetly picking up pieces!
My Japanese silks, desperate butterflies,
May be pinned any minute, anesthetized.

And here you come, with a cup of tea
Wreathed in steam.
The blood jet is poetry,
There is no stopping it.
You hand me two children, two roses.

Running
Running on
Running out
-Which is it?

And mama your child is gone

girls with lost sparkle
floating in seas of untouchable plastic
-to the over 35's

When I was born
across the galaxy
it was too
-depression is just
  missing what only
  you know

drawing fingers
with hither accuse
-all of him

It's flowing endless
but only 1% is salvaged
-flooding garbage cans

drip
drink
drop
down the well
we
  f
    a
        l
           l

Sad little girls
dancing tiptoes
in a drafty lane
-child's goggles

bye bye mama
-losing voices

She was taught to be pretty
But don't you know?
Ruby red slippers were made to hide the blood

here is
   ME
one
       two
              three
me

here I STAND
feet scarred by    the    Land
by the    MAN
Begotten by the son of MAN

forgotten by    the    SON
held down by his    GUN

me who has been  
      SHUN

they move    ON
they ride away at    DAWN

GONE
GONE
GONE

They who felt the   DRILL
of the ****

AND you listener can you    GUESS ?
here let me put you to the TEST.

women born without their DRESS
are still those of the        BREAST.

THIS MUST BE
                                             StReSsEd


her life was in their    HANDS
YOUR HANDS
as they dragged her to the        BADLANDS.

they are to blame
OUR CULTURE IS TO blame.

Brittany White
Muhlaysia Booker
Chynal Lindsey
these their NAME.

black trans    WOMEN

she never asked to    SWIM IN

so take my   QUOTE
it's dead bodies that   FLOAT.

on or off
I'm not flipping the switch

witches can only burn
-stake and gasoline

Please just stop for a minute
and look
-my eyes are dull

something's going to hit
something's going to work
-bathroom floor pep-talks

great shelves have built worlds
and destroyed souls
-I'm there
-Can you see me?

If we burned the bibles
   -debricked the churches
Who would we be?

In meditation they teach you to turn everything off.
Flick the switch on your thoughts.
Redirect.
Now, I'm a master at that.
I stare blank at the floor.
The boards are thin, dark wood, and recently restained.
There's a scratch the size of my fingernail in the right corner.
   -I seem to have lost the switch.

something's gone awry
I'm just not sure of what
-Lost: Something
-Reward: My 1,000 sunsets

here is the
moon filled sky.

this is the town
of sleepy wanders.

these are the
star-lusted street lamps.  

these are the houses
where they roam.

this is the sidewalk
where she has pondered.

here is the house
of quiet lone.

where she has
escaped to the back-porch.

The wound was wet
Your skin was salt
You felt at fault just under fleeing threat
The night we met
I've not left yet
Caught in this field where I can't forget

You begged a kiss
I tore away
Circling prey, hear my vulture hiss
The claws I miss
Your beak's sharp bliss
Feed on rusted pain, the end of this

The death of me
The time I haunt
My flesh torn gaunt, I won't fly towards free
Keep pecking debris
The sickness in me
I trace it back, to that night's last plea

Oh darling I'm in love
Oh darling I'm in love with you

Oh darling the way you smile
Oh darling your smile sets everything a glow

Oh darling my heart to you
Oh darling fully yours to crush

Oh darling you know nothing
Oh darling what I feel for her

But oh darling I do feel
Oh darling the love between us

But oh darling you don't know
Oh darling you just don't know what stands between

Oh darling I do hope
Oh darling I do hope you won't leave me

But oh darling you do hate
Oh darling you do hate those like me

Oh darling to you those girls are ****
Oh darling they are objects of desire

But oh darling they aren't people
And oh darling i'm just like them

And oh darling to you those boys are hazards
Oh darling those boys are wrenches in God's great machine

But oh darling those boys are my brothers
And oh darling I'm just like them

Oh my dear darling  we're going to have to let each other go
Oh darling I'm going to have to let you go

I hide half my soul under raps
lock it in my journals
and undisclosed writing sites
Perhaps it is because
in acknowledging  my other half
what already is in view must die
     -Why I'll Never Tell My Parents

I left my soul in his hand
back in California home
    and I've been calling for it back
but it just won't seem to come

Where to begin?
How to tell a well structured story of a,b,c order
when life reigns in chaos?
I wait for moment to strike
for glorious inspiration to dawn in lightened euphoria,
but I fear it will not come.
How sure am I to be of this moment?
When I can feel the clock drain.
It ticks and ticks       i  n  s  i  s  t  e  n  t  l  y,
counting over the hours and draining of sand.
And while I sit here
watching the arrow round the clock,
what of the billboard plastered behind?
In my fixation for alarm's ring
the flash of neon glow is dull to my senses.
I read not the words.
My moment of finding never goes, never comes.
I       w  a  i  t
and time passed by.
And what now?
Should it all be over?
I have watched the tick of clock,
waited for my time to run bare
with little I can show.
What have I amounted to in my search for meaning?
What have I left plastered, unread to that now pealing board?

We hauled ourselves to wealth and safety
But we forgot them.
   -whoever they were

Between lonely grove of sweet bliss
And love in the abyss
I’d eat the fruit from her hand

I’d turn the tide on promised land
Go nowhere without my woman
I find my heaven in her kiss

I’d greet hell gladly for her sin
Swim with flames of funeral pyres
Take in the hurricane and grin
Sleep upside down with the liars
All for my love’s sweet fire